November 19, 2009

Five Full Plates

If the question is, am I finally back blogging at FTK today, the answer is, OOPS, no.

If the question then becomes, But it LOOKS like you are, then I have to say that that is actually more of a puzzled statement, but probably you tilted it at the end in that kind of up-lilt that can make just about anything into a question. This is why we have emoticons, to indicate tone, but what little face indicates “I up-lilt this puzzled statement into a question???" I don’t know what emoticon face says that, but let’s assume you knew and that you used it, so that the puzzled statement WAS a question. Then the answer is, Nahhhh. It’s just another re-direct.
Because I have a new project!!!!111oneone!11!eleventy. It is a blog about food and five women and ten pounds and vile competition, and it is called...

Five Full Plates.

When I did the BETTER U program with the AHA I learned something about myself. I learned that IF I feel I am in competition, I will do things I would NEVER NORMALLY DO. Such as get up at 4 am to go to 5 boot camps a week. And not have chocolate martinis.

For the record, BETTER U was NEVER a competition, but try telling that to the black gob of pirate-flavored tar I keep in my chest to push my blood around. I lost a little over ten pounds, went down a dress size, and dropped my bad cholesterol by 44 (!!!!) doing BETTER U. Once it was over, though, I just STOPPED trying and straining. I have for the most part maintained my BETTER size and better numbers...but...

Alas, as we have discussed, Better is indeed good, but in this case better is not gooder ENOUGHER.

DIGRESSION: HI! I USED TO TEACH YOUR HELPLESS LITTLE CHILDREN ENGLISH! You should probably look to left sidebar, pick out one of my very fine novels thumbnailed on either side of the tweet box, click on one of the links to book vendors listed below the covers, and purchase it, just to be sure I never never never attempt to instill the laws of English grammar in America's youth again. It’s a public service, really. Also, Christmas is coming, and if I do say so myself, my books make excellent teacher gifts and presents for your read-y friends and relations. /digression.

ANYWAY. I have a new project. It is extremely collaborative. I had the idea and importuned four other fine writers who are also extremely mentally ill and competitive to come on board. Mr. Husband and Mir did the coding. Lydia and Gray took care of the design. Kira JUST HAD A BABY, leave her alone, she is doing PLENTY. Besides, yesterday she went all by herself and got a GRAVATAR ----which she says must mean, “a VERY SERIOUS avatar,” but which is actually that little picture of our faces at the top of each entry so you know who is blogging.

If you want to know WHY we are doing this, other then obvious mental illness number related reasons, Mir explains it perfectly here.

And if you want to know what Soilant Green is ACTUALLY made out of I have a new entry up on the main page.
By the way? Speaking of competition? I tagged my first entry "Twilight,” “Robert Pattinson,” and “panties," so it is sure to get MAAAAAAD hits --- and perhaps a different kind of “mad” comments from twihards. *grin*

Please go check it out and tell me what you think!

Posted by joshilyn at November 19, 2009 6:54 AM

The plates at the top of the new blog look so fancy and cute! Love reading the posts already too. Great Idea.

Posted by: Avallia at November 19, 2009 12:37 PM

Hey, your Kudzu ate my comment!

Oh well... the gist of it was this -- love the new blog, love the idea of competition, love the fact that so many of my favorite bloggers are together in the same place. I did BetterU but am still working toward my own personal fitness and weight loss goals, and I think the new blog can only help.

Posted by: Aimee at November 19, 2009 12:46 PM

Wow, what a cool blog. I'm excited to read 5 times the funny on 5 full plates. Way to multi-blog!

Posted by: Nikki at November 19, 2009 1:44 PM

TWIHARDS!!! I'm dying of lols here!!!!

Posted by: Kate Setzer Kamphausen at November 19, 2009 5:25 PM

What I thought was that you'd lost your mind. This is because FTK fails to mention that the kickoff takes place in January -- I thought you were starting now, which would, really, require an Intervention. But January? Brilliant. Let the taunting begin. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smells like fried avacados.

Posted by: rams at November 20, 2009 6:01 AM

I really thought we were done with this. I was able to avert my eyes the whole time you were BetterUing, because I didn't start reading your blog until you'd already started. I told myself, "Self, you would be behind. Don't even think about starting something late." And myself thought that was a fantabulous idea, so we chose to sit and eat chocolate chip scones while you blathered on about boot camps. Now you AND Mir are doing the crazy again, and I can't fit into my jeans and am sporting a muffin top that has reached hideous proportions (see chocolate chip scones above) and you are going to make me breakdown and do something about it. Just so you know, I hate you both -- in that way you hate a good friend who loves you enough to be truthful with you. GAH! But I WILL NOT DO BOOT CAMPS! My children need their mother, and I'm pretty sure I would die instantly upon entering one of those.

Posted by: Lori B. at November 20, 2009 9:33 AM

This is slightly off-topic but I wanted to share my no-excuse exercise idea.

A few weeks ago, I realized that the building I work in could be an in-door walking track. In fact, because it's built around two courtyards, one series of hallways made a complete loop. I've figured out that 16 times around equals slightly more than a mile. I've been walking on my breaks, slowly working up distance. Yesterday, I did 5 loops in 7 minutes. Not bad for a tubby, ol' dame like me.

Something to think about if you work or spend a significant amount of time in some large building. You are already there and the weather is not a problem.

Posted by: Jan in Norman, OK at November 20, 2009 10:03 AM

LORI -- The best part is, it does nto start until JANUARY FIRST!!!! SO you get to procrastinate and mentally gear yourself. HEE!

Jan, you are a Rock Star

Posted by: Joshilyn at November 20, 2009 1:04 PM

A brilliant author described a character in one of her wonder full books as a gelatinous mound of flab well maybe not in that exact phrase but that is exactly what I felt like when I weighed 275 pounds in July of last year when I listened to the audio book. Thanks to the dedication of you doing better u I decided to be a better me and started walking and even though I was down to 260 in January I am now down to 220!! Thanks for thought that I am better. Now to get serious about what I eat...

Posted by: Linda J at November 21, 2009 2:08 PM

But it LOOKS like you are -.^


Posted by: Niki at November 21, 2009 2:27 PM

Dear Linda J,

Makign a commitment like that to be healthier and then sticking with it this long is so difficult and I admire you more than I can say.

Or in other words: You are a rock star!
That is all.


Posted by: Joshilyn at November 22, 2009 7:41 AM

Love the new blog, but jeeze Louise, how do you get all this blogging done and still write books, and, oh, yeah... sleep? Have you discovered a way to clone yourself? If so, please contact me. I will pay for the instructions.

Posted by: Susan M. Boyer at November 23, 2009 1:36 PM

Oh it is quite simple, Susan. I do NOT sleep. Chronic insomnia FTW!

Posted by: Joshilyn at November 23, 2009 2:47 PM

I like this web really much.

This is such a great place.
And it is not like other money oriented site, the content here is very important.

I am definitely bookmarking it as well as sharing it with my friends.


Posted by: system_forex_ at November 24, 2009 2:53 AM

The shorthand for the uplilting interrogatory tone is "Baroo?", from cute overload. It's what the doggies say when they tilt their fuzzy little heads inquiringly (and adorably) at their incomprehensible humans!

Posted by: Kate Setzer Kamphausen at November 24, 2009 12:44 PM

I Love the New Blog!! I will thoroughly enjoy following you and your friends through the journey. You are all great writers and it will be fun. If only, I could do better for myself, too.

Posted by: Pamela L at November 24, 2009 7:10 PM

I like the new blog - and the comments about - HOW DO YOU FIND THE TIME? Seriously.
Between teaching, being a mom and trying to read a book now and then (my house is a hovel) I don't have time for anything!
I admire your commitment to losing some lbs, I would, except I am carrying a FAT baby (totally NOT exaggerating) so maybe after I give birth to the man child I will take up fitness again. If I can find the time...

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