September 2, 2009

Better U: Afters

This weekend is one of my favorite weekends of the year: Decatur Book Fest. I am HUGELY looking forward to it, and trying to get my talk to come together and gel in my head, and excited about seeing people I adore and meeting authors whose books I love and I know many people who are fond of songs (yeah. I don’t get that.) are looking forward to the music and Decatur is a FOOD town, and I am going to Watershed and I am eating the Shrimp and Grits, whose cheese content alone makes my recipe for Fat Potato Fat Fat look positively heart healthy. Whee.

But before I blow it all on cheese grits, I have to tell you, I went back to Dallas for my reassessment! In twelve weeks... I am Better. And I cut all my hair off.

betterjossnowwithshorthair.jpg


--I lost ten pounds and went down a dress size

--I lost more than three inches in my waist and more than two in my hips.

--My cholesterol went from 199 (pushing maximum density) to 154 (!!!)

--My BMI went down by 1.5, and I am LITERALLY 4 ounces away from moving from the overweight category to the normal one. (Martyred sigh! At HOME my BMI IS in the normal range. I should have taken all my clothes off!)

--I got back on the CRUELTY MACHINE. Remember that? Scroll down to see the pic. It’s a treadmill, and every minute the treadmill rises a degree, inclining upwards from flat into a massive hill, and you have this horrid OXYGEN SPACE SUCKER machine on your head and are hooked to an EKG and a blood pressure cuff. By the end, you feel like you are running straight up a mountain while test driving bondage equipment.

Last time, I stayed on for 15 minutes and 6 seconds.

This time, I stayed on 18 minutes and 44 seconds.

My MET level went up from 10.5 to 11.2, so my fitness catagory remains high. They also have a minute/heartbeat/oxygen processing chart thing scale in the TORTURE ROOM, I mean, stress test room, which measures your fitness level for your age.
You can be Poor, Fair, Good, Excellent, or SUPERIOR.
Last time I registered as GOOD. This time? EXCELLENT.

Dudes. I am BETTER. The math SAYs so, and math, for all it is an exacting piece of crap jerk I have hated since middle school, well, I hear MATH does not lie.

If you want to try this program, you can get started by pushing this big red button:

I tell you why this program worked for me---It is REALLY simple, not time consuming, and VERY self-directed. Basically, all I had to do was read some info each week and then I used that info to set goals that were my OWN and fit into my lifestyle, but that corresponded with a specific area I needed to work on to improve my overall heart health.

It is also not FAST. I lost less than a pound a week. If you are looking for a quick fix, this is not it. But fast results require radical changes and I can never sustain radical change. (Heck, I can barely remember we now own FISH. Fish are BAD pets. They do not come and yell and scrape their pointy feet down your leg if the fish-kibble gets low. They do not even HAVE feet, pointy or otherwise, and if Scott was not here to remember they exist...It does not bear examination...)

But fishly digressions aside, this lifestyle, the way I am living now, with Boot Camps and mallowcremes holding hands and running aerobically through a meadow, and plenty of grilled squashes living harmoniously with the idea that no one ever DIED from a Chocolate Covered Cherry Martini...

It is a moderate amount of Moderation. And I can live with that.

Posted by joshilyn at September 2, 2009 5:21 AM
Comments

And did they get out the calipers to measure those cheekbones? Or their altimeters? Because sugar, (sorry, I mean, um, "my little tofu?")those are SERIOUS cheekbones!

Posted by: rams at September 2, 2009 6:23 AM

Congratulations!

You look fabulous, and we know blood doesn't lie.

Enjoy the weekend and all the compliments you will get.

(Watershed, mmmmm!)

Posted by: Jen at September 2, 2009 6:36 AM

Congratulations! You are absolutely inspiring!

Posted by: Lesley at September 2, 2009 9:16 AM

congratulations! You look great! Scott looks proud to be with you, too!

Posted by: elizabeth at September 2, 2009 9:30 AM

OK, you two are adorable together! It's nice to finally see Mr. Husband/Scott/Your Sanity Monitor :)

Congratulations! I am so proud of you - and yes, moderate amounts of moderation are good.

Posted by: Beth R at September 2, 2009 9:41 AM

You look AWE-SPIRING (awesome and inspiring). Congrats!!

Posted by: Dara at September 2, 2009 10:40 AM

You look AWE-SPIRING (awesome and inspiring). Congrats!!

Posted by: Dara at September 2, 2009 10:40 AM

Congratulations! you look great and it is awesome to know that the little changes can do it. I am loving the description of grilled squash alongside fruity girly drinks, because that is also my life.

I LOVE the DBF! will hopefully be at your talk if I can buy enough ice cream to keep my family happy for 45 min. :)

Posted by: Beth at September 2, 2009 11:13 AM

Oh yay! A winner is YOU. You are very brave and INSPIRING, and you look healthy and pretty.

Posted by: Jill at September 2, 2009 11:27 AM

Great job! You look awesome. Wish I was going to be here for DBF. Have fun and enjoy the shrimp & grits.

Posted by: Kim at September 2, 2009 12:12 PM

Many congratulations! Excellent success. We know that this is not about how great you look, but you really do look terrific.

My current goal is chocolate raspberry martinis, not cherry, but yesterday's treat was triple citrus mojitos, because I don't have the martini shaker or glasses yet!

Maybe I should make them part of a goal/ reward as I continue trying to be a better Me? Would that be perverse?

Posted by: Diane (TT) at September 2, 2009 12:41 PM

Yay, you! You look great! (So too the man beside you-didn't want to ignore him.)

Way to go, Joshilyn!

Posted by: cheryl at September 2, 2009 8:29 PM

Oh many congratulations along with all the other beautiful word-bouquets you're so deservedly receiving!

And. . .Watershed? I am SO looking forward to the day when we get to go there! This is me, pickled completely in envy!

Oh, but you have so earned it, and congratulations again!

Posted by: Fran at September 2, 2009 11:05 PM

I don't see your name on the official schedule of the Decatur Book Festival???? Please post when and where you will be there!

Posted by: Kim Burgett at September 3, 2009 8:21 AM

What a nice picture, and bravo for someone to think of taking it. I sometimes see family vacation photos and think "Wow, I took some great shots. Huh, forgot to get one of me too..." Congratulations and thanks for leadning the inspiration.

Posted by: JulieB at September 3, 2009 9:27 AM

Way to go girlfriend!! That is a great picture of you and Mr Husband. I am so impressed how far your cholesterol came down. Have a wonderful time at the Decatur book fest. Eat an extra portion of shrimp and grits since they still wont serve them here in Calif.!!

Posted by: Allison at September 3, 2009 5:48 PM

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Posted by: Gundoskth at September 4, 2009 12:56 AM

Aloha! gcx

Posted by: Gundosjyn at September 4, 2009 1:25 AM

Wow! Congrats! I'm personally, totally impressed.

Posted by: edj at September 4, 2009 6:55 AM

Woohoo! Congratulations! That is great news. I'm terribly impressed.

Posted by: Holly at September 4, 2009 5:25 PM

This is SO pretty of you. And Scott doesn't look half-bad, either...

Posted by: Karen Abbott at September 6, 2009 7:54 PM