May 2, 2009

BOOK DAY! YAY (But Also Vermin Day. Heh.)

TODAY a moistened slump of cardboard box was sitting on my porch (stupid rain, stupid late Friday delivery) but when I opened it, the inside was still magically DRY and WARM, it was like TOAST in there, and nestled safely in the cardboard depths were a couple of advance copies of TGWSS in trade paperback. IT. IS. SO. PRETTY.


The blue is SO blue. The feet are SO FOOTY---real chipped-toe-nail-polish authentic thirteen footy. You can’t see from the pic, but it has that kind of double cover thing going where there is a beveled edge, and you open it and there is an UNDERcover, so pristinely blue it looks cool and refreshing – maybe even chlorinated, with review quotes.
I think it’s sexy.

It won’t be in stores JUST yet, but SOON! SOON! May 26th is the release and they generally start dribbling into stores before that. The physical book, existing in my hands is always sych a good feeling, especially when it is SO pretty and touchable and inviting. OH, how I hopehopehope people who do not know me from Adam’s off ox will be tempted by its beauties to pick it up and look at the reviews and read a few lines and think, “oh, yes, this is my kinda thing” and buy it. <---This is my most secret and beautiful hope. I am only telling you.

I am also telling you that B and N has a discount on pre-orders right now. SO you could, for example, pre-order it to ship to your mom’s house, and then give her a Mother’s Day card with flowers on the front, chock full of both touching Hallmark-style poetry and the knowledge that a fresh new copy of a book she will surely like with all kinds of MOTHER DAUGHTER THEMINESS is coming. In fact, you really want to do that. HEY! Look at the swinging chrysallis. Look at it sway! You are getting sleepy. Also, your best friend has a birthday coming up. You want to get your best friend one, as well. Sleepy…sleepy…And you, yes, you there in the back, I remember you said you were going to wait for paperback, and lo! That glorious time is here. Yes! Yes! Take two, they are small.

When I tap your shoulder you will sit upright feeling rested and pleased, secure in the knowledge that you were all ABSOLUTELY CORRECT about Maisy’s stinking caterpillars. They are, in fact, the dreaded tent worms. They are, in fact VERMIN. Horrible. reviled, defoliating, awful vermin.

When you told us, we were LOATHE to believe, but Scott went and looked at your sites you recommended and then we went and stared bleakly in at the worms and sure enough: We have a box of vermin in our kitchen. The next thing that happened only confirmed it. They tented up in the aquarium, and now it looks like we are nurturing a herd of pet hair balls.


Scott: Do you think the children would be permanently scarred if they see me burn their little pets alive?
Me: Yes. I do. I suggest that after the pets hatch you take the moths to go “live on a farm.”
Scott: Do you mean that glowing red farm lapped in flames in the black pit of deepest Hell? Where everything burns up cleanly and doesn’t lay 1 billion eggs and destroy every tree in Georgia?
Me: That exact farm, yes.

We brought in new leaves yesterday for the last untented vermin (I think it is either Hookah or Mookah) and a NEW caterpillar was in those leaves. He has a black body and white fur and a red face and cheery li’l deedlies on his head. We tried to get a picture but he is VERY TINY. Hopefully he will become a NICE thing.

After the Tent Worms go to He---the lovely farm, I am not sure what we will raise in our aquarium. Maybe a mated pair of darling roaches. Or plague rats. Maybe we can get some Waterford crystal culture bowls where we can host colorguard trained flag-waving teams of Ebola virus. Or we can fill the tank with yellow, scientific FLUIDS and incubate carnivorous soulless sheep. The cloned kind. That eat people. After tent worms, these things are really all a step up.

Posted by joshilyn at May 2, 2009 11:35 AM

AH the blue is so pretty. Congratulations on the pb arrival of your little one.

As for the other matter...I will keep my mouth shut...perhaps it is time for a nice herb garden. The bug-less kind???

Posted by: Linda J at May 2, 2009 12:17 PM

Well, yes, Mother's Day is coming up AND my mom's birthday a few days later. She read the book last year, and my urging, AND LOVED IT. Alas...

The cover IS beautiful! Congrats.

Posted by: Andrea at May 2, 2009 12:27 PM

Why are you waiting until the hatch? Won't they be harder to catch and set aflame?

I'd hate to see him torch the inside of the aquarium which will be the future home of plague rats!

Seriously, no one is raising plague rats now -- that will put you on the MAP of fun new pets.


Posted by: Patricia at May 2, 2009 1:06 PM

I once hatched from a puddle a bunch of "tadpoles" that turned out to be mosquito larvae. Super cool dude!

Posted by: Julie O at May 2, 2009 1:37 PM

Shoot -- where's that recipe for a coal garden? Ah --,1843,156190-250203,00.html Pretty, indeed. Also grows while remaining inorganic. That's nice.

(Also good for science fair projects, at least at the early grades.)

Posted by: rams at May 2, 2009 5:12 PM

If the Plague Rats, Ebola teams, or Soulless Sheep don't work out, perhaps you could try Paper Wasps.

I have a candidate in mind. I have recently involuntarily adopted a Paper Wasp who has chosen to build her nest on the deck ceiling just outside my back door. Apparently, she is a Hussy, because I see no evidence of a he-wasp; or perhaps she consumed him in a fit of pique. Apparently, being in a family way and having to build her own home at the same time have put her in a cranky frame of mind; every time I take the dog out the back door, she angles herself around and glares at me. She is still, hanging upside down on the ceiling, except for her stinger; as she glares at me, she also meditatively prods at the surface she is sitting on, as vaguely threatening as a police officer slapping his baton into his palm.

Being allergic to bee stings, this concerns me. Being the homeowner, who pays the mortgage and therefore presumably owns the property on which she is building, I am somewhat indignant. However, I read on-line that these wasps are good neighbors, as they kill and consume all manner of truly bad bugs. This makes me reluctant to get out the Wasp Dispatching Spray and send her to He- the farm. So, if you are looking for a patently unpleasant creature to confine in your kitchen, I volunteer her.

I will understand if you say no.


Posted by: Jennifer at May 2, 2009 6:25 PM

I bought the hard back edition - I couldn't wait for the paperback. =) But it is, indeed, lovely.

Posted by: Anna Marie at May 2, 2009 7:33 PM

Oh, it's a beautiful book! Maybe it should be my Mother's Day present to myself, because I certainly shouldn't leave my happiness in the hands of my daughters!

Posted by: Pam at May 2, 2009 9:30 PM

Re: Vermin: Georgia is full of live stuff that wreaks havoc. The rain has caused some weird growth on the cedar near my porch. The growth is a lovely rust color, with multiple tiny lobes. It actually looks pretty up there on the branches. But sometimes a growth gets so waterlogged that it falls from the branch, plopping right onto the porch, where it looks kind of gelatinous. Not so nice. This morning, I discovered a small lizard in the corner of the room nearest the back door. I got my very large son to capture it and take back to nature, as we say in the preschool at which I work. It wasn't hard to capture; it was dead. Still, back to nature it went, as I wouldn't want to mistakenly disturb its resting place if the resting place were the kitchen garbage can.

Tent worms so soon? I thought they waited until June.

Posted by: JenK at May 2, 2009 11:11 PM

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I bought a hard-cover edition A YEAR AGO, and I am just now reading it. I haven't even finished it, but I already recommended it to my SIL. Loving it!

Posted by: Melisa at May 2, 2009 11:50 PM

i can't WAIT for your book to come out.since finding faster than kudzu i have gone to my fav bookstore to get tgwss in particular but i would have been delighted to have left with ANY joshilyn no avail!sold out.i was told they could order in for me but that would have taken away from the whole i have it in my hands and now i can go make tea and READ ;stay up and read;forget to make the kids lunches cuz yep i'm reading!and that was going to be my mamas day present to myself-your book.welll a hey it's may 26 and u deserve a lil something sounds good too but.."are we there yet"LOL

Posted by: TRACI at May 3, 2009 10:35 AM

I just finished gods in alabama and I wanted to tell you that I laughed out loud! I listened to it as an audiobook and the woman who reads it is wonderful and captures the spirit of the characters perfectly. What a good book. Now, I'm looking forward to tgwss.
Thank you for that.

Posted by: donna lee at May 3, 2009 10:58 AM

What a perfectly lovely farm you'll be sending those moths to! I applaud your decision completely!

We can't wait to get the trade pb of TGWSS. It's going to be a joy to sell, and ever so easy! In fact, all your books are steady sellers for us, so thank you!

Posted by: Fran at May 3, 2009 11:40 AM

Oh, your paperback is LOVELY! So shiny and blue! I will buy at LEAST one, I promise.

I love your new caterpillar friend with the deedlies and the Russian mob name. Much better than a tent caterpillar.

Posted by: Aimee at May 4, 2009 9:36 AM

I just finished reading The Girl Who Stopped Swimming - wow! Its an old cliche, but I could not put it down. I stayed up way past my bedtime to finish it last night. Loved it.

Unfortunately, it was from our local public library, so, you know ... sorry.

Posted by: Derek at May 4, 2009 9:42 AM

Aimee, you are a sexy beast. I have ALWAYS said so.

AND DEREK, I heart the library myself, but... if you truly liked it -- then next time a fellow reader has a birthday, you already know the PERFECT gift! *big poo eating grin*

Posted by: Joshilyn at May 4, 2009 10:54 AM

I already pre-ordered one for myself a ways back, but you're right, another copy would make an excellent gift for Mothers' Day for my mom!

Posted by: Genevieve at May 4, 2009 4:17 PM

ummm...correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't it be rawther a fun test-like thing to maybe FLUSH the vermin? because I hear that opossum are vermin as well and it could be a small scale test of the Made in The Americas American Standard Toilet's vermin handling capabilities

Also, I bought a hard cover copy of TGWSS and a soft cover copy of both gods and Between for my mom to read since they were so very very good. I shall be buying her a copy of TGWSS as well. Just to keep a theme.

Posted by: Wendy at May 4, 2009 10:43 PM

Sorry they turned out to be moths. But oh, speaking of TGWSS, I am recomending this book to EVERYBODY I know that reads.

Posted by: Trace at May 6, 2009 8:12 PM