February 27, 2009

Birthday Blah-Blah-Blah

Birthday Musings

It’s easier to turn 41 than it is to turn 40. 40 sucked and was shock and I felt very INDIGNANT about it… this is just more of the same decade, and I am inured to the suckage of the 40’s at this point. 41. Big woo. The thing that helps is how fun this stage is…How COOL it is to watch my kids turning into genuine people. We are leaving Chuck E. Cheese behind (Thank you, Beautiful Lord) and heading into family game nights, where they can play actual GAMES we ALL ENJOY, and where we can go see movies together that do not make me want to stab my ears with a fork to make the dialog stop (*cough*POKEMON*cough*) and where they are TALL enough to get on the GOOD rides.
That said, I am not going to start aging gracefully or going gently into that good night or any CRAP like that. The something-ty-ones, through the Something-ty sevens rarely bother me, but I purely hate leaving behind the EARLIES and MIDS and heading into the LATES. I expect to have a TOTAL BREAK WITH REALITY and begin practicing Munchausen’s by Proxy on the bad cat or, if I have already drowned Boggart in a toilet on general principles I am sure I can find some other form of damaging lunacy to indulge in when I bid 47 goodbye and head into 48.

MEANWHILE, I have decided to marry Bronchitis and have little phlegmy babies because we are apparently going to be together for QUITE some time. After the big allergic reaction/near death/seeing the face of God thing, I decided I can live with a little constant coughing and mucus. If this is sinusitis as well, I will go all BIG LOVE and marry sinusitis, too. FINE! We are all four in the bed together every night ANYWAY, just Scott, Bronchitis, Sinusitis, and me. Bronchitis is a screamer. Sinusitis hogs the remote. Even so, I am sure we will all be very happy together, just do not give me anymore helpful medications, THANKS. I will not have my first husband (Scott) sitting up all night again hollering, “Carol Ann! Stay Away from the light!”

Oh hey! If I DO marry sinusitis and bronchitis, can I register and get stuff? Like a set of these bowls? Because right now I have a 28 ounce oversize bowl for popcorn and soups, and a flat pasta bowl, and an 8 ounce dessert bowl, and I really need an in between size for cereal…

I am going to go work on the book, but…Best Beloved Cheryl sent me a poem for my birthday. Now, generally I would rather get chocolate, but THIS poem, I truly truly love, and it relates in deeply amusing ways to subjects we have LONG discussed here. I want to post it here, copywrite be damned, because I suspect most people do not link crawl with an expectation of POETRY, but I cannot violate George Bilgere’s rights. SO. A link. It’s a perfect moment of a poem, and very entertaining.

You will like it. Pinky Swears.

Posted by joshilyn at February 27, 2009 9:51 AM

Happy Birthday! and congratulations on your marriages - but I hope they are short lived and the new husbands slither off soon feeling very ashamed of themselves for causing you such trouble and near death experiences.

Posted by: elizabeth at February 27, 2009 10:01 AM

Ha! I do indeed love that poem, with a love that is large and (I fear) unrequited. Oh well.

Happy Birthday! You are only slightly ahead of me in your creep toward madness and the lates. Enjoy the earlies while you're in 'em!

And hell YES you should get bowls if you have to marry that jerk bronchitis.

Posted by: Aimee at February 27, 2009 10:23 AM

Happy Birthday!

I am relieved that you are feeling better and in time for today. May you keep getting better and do lots of fun things today!

I am also relieved you are not freaking out anymore about the early 40's. I'm 42 and looking forward to experimenting in lunacy with you (without drowning cats. That's like "EWWW", ya know?)

Posted by: Elizabeth at February 27, 2009 10:33 AM

Loved the poem. . .love you. . .HATE Bronchitis. Sorry. I know you have pledge undying devotion, but I think you need to pitch him like bad milk.

Posted by: Roxanne at February 27, 2009 10:34 AM

Happy Birthday! Birthday girls get to do whatever they want, didn't you know that? So bowl away!

And I too love that poem with a deep abiding passion. I wonder if George is single?

Posted by: Jen at February 27, 2009 10:40 AM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I am 6 months ahead of you on the slide into suckage, and about 3 child years behind, which means I am still at the stage where I am pulling staples (no joke) out of the four-year-old's mouth. Luckily, I am at the age where I can totally justify good wine, which helps.

Posted by: liz at February 27, 2009 10:41 AM

Happy birthday!

Posted by: Lisa Milton at February 27, 2009 10:46 AM

that poem is GENIUS!

Soo..are sinusitis and bronchitis Scott's brother-husbands?

Posted by: Laura at February 27, 2009 10:52 AM

Happy Birthday!

Love the poem.

Am facing the Big 4-0 myself this April. Do not love that.

Love that my kids are also finally old enough, tall enough, etc. Love love love the game "Blokus." Check it out for family game night if you haven't yet!

Do not love Bronch- or Sinus- ituses (itusi?) You have my very deep sympathies.

Really really love your blog, if I haven't mentioned that before. Hope you have lots and lots of birthdays so you can continue to amuse and delight us for many years to come!

Posted by: Debora Silkotch at February 27, 2009 10:58 AM

Hey, I'm just 3 months ahead of you in age and my kiddos are 13 and 14.(Pulls hair)

Turning 40 sucked, but getting my first ms sale during the '40 year' made it all better. 41 has been quiet so far, unless you count the election being on my b'day.

Don't marry the other two. Polygamy can't be very good for you. Get well soon.

Posted by: Wanda Vaughn at February 27, 2009 11:21 AM

Happy Birthday! That is a good poem. I know several people who would like it, and several devoted cell-phone users who would not understand.

Posted by: Holly at February 27, 2009 11:27 AM

Happy Happy Birthday!!!

Posted by: Linda J at February 27, 2009 11:39 AM

Happy Birthday! I didn't know we were Feb. buddies! I've got ya by 2 years, but they too are....pooh! NOTHING. I've decided to stop at 45 so I will not careen into the crazies at 48. Hope you feel well enough to have a fantabulous birthday!

Posted by: Janie at February 27, 2009 1:01 PM

Speaking of bowls, did you ever get yourself new dishware?

Posted by: Laume at February 27, 2009 4:15 PM

Congratulations on your 3rd Annual 39th Birthday!

Posted by: Terri at February 27, 2009 4:23 PM

Happy Birthday!

On my way to 40 myself this year (suckage may now ensue.)

Ditch the "-itis" boys. They are bad news and will never measure up to Scott.

Get well soon!

Posted by: Jen at February 27, 2009 4:31 PM

Lurve, lurve, lurve! the poem and gotta say that I turned 48 in November and so far it's been a fantastic year. I thought it would be icky being in my late forties also, but it ain't bad, not bad at all.

Posted by: Michelle M. at February 27, 2009 5:13 PM

Happy Birthday!

and that poem is great, loved it.

Posted by: Patti at February 27, 2009 5:15 PM

Happy Birthday!
Hope sinusitis and bronchitis go bother someone outside your immediate family as a present to you.
It's not fair to be feeling ill on your birthday - be it early, mid or the nasty-late.

Posted by: Rompompom at February 27, 2009 5:48 PM

Happy JoshilynDay! Having experienced the
"big 4-1" in November I can tell you that it will be fine! After all, since 40 is the new 21 this birthday simply means you are well into your second year of legalized drinking...Cheers!

Posted by: Carmen at February 27, 2009 6:07 PM

My dear sister* has a whole system for ascertaining where you are in a decade. It's as complex as those kinship suffixes in various aboriginal languages. Here you go:

Decade Year is just that year. "I'm 40."

The next three years are the Early years of the decade. They are subdivided into early-middle-late.
"I'm in my early 40s." (41)
"I'm in my mid-early 40s." (42)
"I'm in my late-early 40s." (43)

The next three are the mid-decade years, similarly divided:
early mid *s = decade-4
mid *s = decade-5
late mid *s = decade-6

And the next three are the late decade years:
early-late, mid-late, late.

The beauty of the system to me is that you drop the repeated descriptor, as a language ought to do.

She, by the way, is in her early-mid-40s, a few months ahead of you. And just a few days ago, I passed into my early-late 40s.

*Said sister has been insisting for something like two years that I *must* read your blog. She is a bigbigbigbig fan, and she also has great taste, so feel complimented. Young and complimented.

Posted by: JenK at February 27, 2009 7:11 PM

Happy birthday, beautiful!

Posted by: Heather at February 27, 2009 7:21 PM

Happy Birthday to us!
Happy Birthday to us!
Happy Birthday to U-huuusssss!
Happy Birthday to us!

I'll always be a year older than you are, Sister, and I have to tell you that it ain't all bad up here at 42.

And, hell, it's better than the alternative!

Posted by: CityGirl at February 27, 2009 7:55 PM

PS - I, too, suffer fron chronic lung funk. Must be a numerologocial illness?

Posted by: CityGirl at February 27, 2009 7:58 PM

Happy Birthday again!

The only reason I can think of for marrying these "itis" twins would be that Scott is too perfect and you have to have some husband stuff to complain about...

Posted by: Amy-Go at February 27, 2009 8:44 PM

Ew, and when you divorce the new husbands, you don't even want to take 'em for all they've got. I hope you get a proper, post-poned birthday celebration once you are finally RID of them. Unless you are planning to be like an old-timey writer, artistically wasting away from consumption?

Thanks for the poem, I ALMOST didn't click the link, and now I'm glad I did.

Oddly, I felt the opposite with my 40/41. 40 was a landmark year, something to celebrate. While, at 41, I weas just . . . "in my 40s" (which could cover anything up to 49). Bleah!

Posted by: Brigitte at February 28, 2009 6:49 AM

Happy Belated Birthday! Loved the poem and sounds like you're feeling better!

Posted by: Sabra at February 28, 2009 7:01 PM

You did not lie: I loved the poem, and had to send the link on to others as well. I have a Bluetooth, but I never, ever use it in public. It's too easy to forget that everything you say is being told to everyone within thirty feet, which means it's too easy to say something unwise.

Happy birthday!

Posted by: Caryn Caldwell at February 28, 2009 9:13 PM

Happy Birthday!

Posted by: whit at February 28, 2009 10:29 PM

Belated happy birthday! I hope you kick your new husbands in the eye!

Posted by: Nik at March 1, 2009 1:28 AM

Happy Birthday! I just turned 39 and refused to acknowledge it. I took an online test on Facebook that put me at the lighthearted age of 29. I'll take that one - thought I just admit the "late" of 30's - things just don't really bother me quite as much. I think that is good part of growing older - you are settled in your skin and know which way it stretches, and doesn't.

Posted by: Going Crunchy at March 1, 2009 1:54 AM

Now that I am over the mid 50's, I look back with fondness for my 40's. I guess that is the way it always is! At least my "real age test" gives me the age of 38.

Happy, Happy Birthday, hope you did something fun, besides dealing with MUCUS!!

Posted by: Priscilla at March 1, 2009 11:07 AM

Happy Birthday!! Hope you are through with your polygamous marriage right quick.

Posted by: Lindsey at March 1, 2009 12:14 PM

Happy Birthday!! Hope you are through with your polygamous marriage right quick.

Posted by: Lindsey at March 1, 2009 12:15 PM

I hit 50 a couple of years ago. After I enjoyed the party and presents, I announced that from then on I was going to age backwards. My then-six-year-old son gasped and replied, "You can do that?!"

As my birthday approaches, he is telling everyone I am turning 48. And I double-dog dare anyone to try and correct him!

Posted by: Tracy at March 1, 2009 1:56 PM

Oops! And Happy Birthday! Hope you're feeling better.

Posted by: Tracy at March 1, 2009 1:58 PM