February 20, 2009

The Late Blooming Love Post

I meant to tell you all about this when it was topically relevant, on Valentines day, but I was sick. I STILL AM SICK, BY THE WAY. This is endless consumption, and YES I am going BACK to the vet on Monday if it does not resolve magically over the weekend.

Anyway…I always have said that my husband is not Romantical. He is not a grand gesture guy. Not a frequent flower sender nor a secret get-away planner. Not one to peel a girl a grape while gazing deep, deep, deep into her eyes and saying things about limpid pools and darkling waters.

I have never minded that he is not Romantical. In fact it is a plus: I do not like goo.

I hate goo. I am forty years old, and I still make twelve year old boy style Puke-Noises if a movie gets drippy. I like movie men to SHOOT and SEIZE and KISS and be HAIRY and THROW THINGS. I do not like movie men to moon or pine or flop. I am creeped out by the waxed chests of men who wax poetical.

My friend Lydia and I used to watch DAYS OF OUR LIVES while talking on the phone because a main character, Marlena, got INFESTED BY SATAN (really), and we’d yammer all through the slow dancing and strawberry feeding (with frequent pauses to say things like, “Must he look at her with such MOISTness, UGH!”) and we’d only really pay attention to the show when Marlena sprouted her rubber demon head and went galumphing off hunchback style to desecrate the Salem Church.

And yet… I present three facts for your perusal…

1) For Valentines day, he drove 45 minutes to the Godiva store, and bought a puffy box that he could fill himself with all and only the dark chocolates I like VERY VERY VERY best, and he knew what all of them were. I also got COFFEE. And a card that played Sixpence None the Richer singing one of the 15 songs in the world I actually feel a mild emotional response toward.

2) I have named my Saturn Vue the Good Cat because it is orange and I have an orange cat named Boggart who is DEFINITELY the BAD cat. Scott went in to get it a license plate while I was out of town. I had no cell phone signal at the hotel, so we were instant messaging, and I asked if the car was taken care of.

Him: Yes. Your tag will say GUD C4T
Me: HA! That’s brilliant. I wish that was true. That would be the first tag in history I would be able to remember when I had to write it down at hotels.
Him: It is true.
Me: Wait, you really got the tag to say that? I thought you were kidding.
Him: No. It really says that.

3) APPARENTLY our azalea bush by the front door died and turned into a dry poinky sticky looking thing. I failed to notice until Scott pointed it out.

Me: Yep that’s dead alright. I hate lawns. Also nature.

And that, in my head, was the end of it.

At some point or another, Scott dug the ugly stick-dead thing out and put in another bush with dark green waxy leaves. I did not notice. He pointed the new bush out, and I said, “Oh cool. Thanks. Really the azalea died?” He reminded me that it had and we had discussed it and I nodded vaguely and wandered off.

Months later, the bush bloomed.
Scott and I were unlocking the front door with our arms full of groceries when a clean, sweet, pale smell hit me, and I stopped and my eyes closed.

Me: That’s a gardenia bush.
Him: I know.
Me: I love them. I love them. We had one by the back door at my childhood house in Pensacola, and I used to stand there by that bush and just sniff and sniff and sniff the blooms.
Him: Baby. I know.
Me: Wait, you know about that Gardenia bush in Pensacola?
Him: Yes. You told me.
Me: When?
Him: Years ago.

And he remembered. He remembered when even I did not remember. He took a dead bush out and he put in gardenias for me, and I didn’t even notice. We’ve been married almost fifteen years, we’ve been best friends for almost twenty-two, and I am just now realizing that every week and day and month and year, my husband is still wooing me in his own strange, pragmatic, understated way.

My husband? He is a hopeless romantic.
And me? I really, really like it.

Posted by joshilyn at February 20, 2009 9:01 AM

Ah, you are both very lucky to have one another. Thanks for sharing the ride with us (although my husband is not thankful for it is another example I shall threateningly hold over his head)...

Posted by: Jen at February 20, 2009 9:23 AM

Oh, Mr. Husband is wonderful! Those are the things that mean so much... not the constant grand gestures, but the little things that show they are listening and loving every day.

Posted by: BethR at February 20, 2009 9:37 AM

That's one fine man!

Posted by: RockyCat at February 20, 2009 9:45 AM

Definitely a keeper!! I want one! :)

Posted by: Erin at February 20, 2009 9:47 AM

I can't talk right now so what BethR said.

Posted by: pam at February 20, 2009 9:48 AM

If such a man were to walk my way, I would endeavor to practice this skill they call "niceness" with him.

However, I am pretty sure you, Kira, and Mir got the last three. Which is very, very nice to read about.

Posted by: Mit at February 20, 2009 9:50 AM

Nothing moist about that. . .that is one rock solid fella. I am glad that you are so blessed--and that you know it.

Posted by: Roxanne at February 20, 2009 10:35 AM

That kind of thoughtful thing is SO much more romantical than moist looks. Good going, Mr. Husband.

Posted by: Aimee at February 20, 2009 10:40 AM

*Sniff* That's about the gooey-est (how do you spell THAT?) thing I've read in a while. Way to go, Scott!

I like music, but I don't actually like LISTENING to it. I sing it. I play it on instruments. But listen? I must designate time especially for listening. I cannot multitask and use music as background like most people do. So a while ago, before Christams? I mentioned an artist I found I liked, and for Valentine's Day, my husband remembered and put the CD on my iPod.

He also overwrote my playlist with the rest of his plus the new CD, and when I told him, he was unapologetic because he knew I actually WANTED the new Metallica album on my iPod. This is TRUE... but I had really been in the mood for the Les Miserables soundtrack.

I still find it a win-win situation, though.

Posted by: Jess at February 20, 2009 11:03 AM

Awwww, that's so sweet!

Posted by: Holly at February 20, 2009 11:13 AM

He's a keeper.

Posted by: Lisa Milton at February 20, 2009 11:38 AM

Now forming a Scott clone waiting list...

Posted by: Linda J at February 20, 2009 12:04 PM

I really, really want to make 12 year old boy style Puke Noises reading this because I am like you and Not Romantical. Reading that made me smile and say "Awwwww." Very sweet with not too much goo.

Posted by: Lily at February 20, 2009 12:08 PM

Awww. And here I thought my husband was the best. Apparently you found the other Best One. Good for you. He is definitely a keeper.

Posted by: kmkat at February 20, 2009 12:41 PM

This is one of the best things I have read in a long time about true, real-life love. Makes me want to stop and recognize the things my own true love (who is also quite non-romantical) does for me. He is not so much detail-oriented and never has remembered the kind of flowers I prefer on the rare (once every couple of years) occasion that he might actually purchase some, but he does do things like washing the dishes, taking time off work to accommodate the kids' and my schedules, and not criticizing me for my lack of homemaking skills. Guess I'm a pretty lucky girl!

Posted by: Carol at February 20, 2009 1:06 PM

THAT is exactly the kind of romance that is truly romantical!!

I too dislike goo. And, quite honestly, "grand" gestures. If a "traditional romantic" man put rose petals in the bath, or made a trail of them toward the bed, I would be far too busy thinking "WHO does he think is going to have to unclog the drain/clean up this mess???" to be feeling romantic.

Scott's romance? Just true love. I envy you. (I always seem to meet "traditional romantical" men--which is why I am single!!)


Posted by: Jennifer at February 20, 2009 1:16 PM

Looks like y'all have sort of figured out how to get to Happily Ever After, and are helping each other get there. Brava & bravo!

Posted by: Lulu at February 20, 2009 1:34 PM

What a great guy! It's amazing to know that someone really loves you, and wants to make you happy :)

My husband is the type who is secretly goopy, but is also a master of the little gestures. It's so awesome.

Our little 9 month is in the midst of his first raging cold, fever, AND ear infection, all at the same time, a whole week after we packed up and moved 1000 miles away for a job transfer that we only had 6 weeks notice. Needless to say, I am frazzled.

Last night, my Mr. Husband came home and handed me a bag of medicine that he'd picked up for the baby, and pulled out a box of chocolates that were "medicine for Lindsey," awwww.

Posted by: Lindsey at February 20, 2009 1:58 PM

Nothing is more romantic than a man who pays attention. He outdid himself!

Posted by: pendy at February 20, 2009 3:10 PM

I will tell you that the love each of you have for one another oozes out in all of your blogging, and also hovers delicately over TGWSS. I think it's one of those motive forces for the two of you. Never forget that you are pretty amazing, Joshilyn, and as wonderful as he is, he's gotten a good deal too.

Posted by: parrotzmom at February 20, 2009 5:32 PM

heh, must get back to serious work on Scott-Cloning-Machine, forget query letter. my hopefully-please-God-soon-to-be-ex-husband's idead of wooing was to develop a "bad back" and lay on the couch for three years expecting me to support him and our two children, world without end, Amen.
I wonder if I will have better luck with the latest model of S-C-O if I try building it within sight and sound of A DAM...by George, I think I've got it! A thunderstorm is coming, let's get this kite aloft...

Posted by: Elena at February 21, 2009 12:19 AM

Aw! What perfect, totally thoughtful things! And I totally agree on the "SHOOT and SEIZE and KISS and be HAIRY and THROW THINGS" but I'm not TOTALLY stuck on the HAIRY, I mean, fur is not necessary, as long as he's hairier than me :P (I am not that hairy, actually, but the way I phrased that made me sound awfully hirsute.)

Posted by: Heather at February 21, 2009 1:19 AM


That is really super sweet. It makes me realize my hubs is like yours and that we are lucky girls.

Posted by: Nik at February 21, 2009 5:05 AM

Yea Scott. I have a Scott-like husband, too. He just keeps doing really cool stuff and not pointing it out. I do really cool stuff and expect a parade. Husbands rock.

BTW, I remember when Marlena was possessed by the devil. It was topped in "Coolest and Non-Drippy Soap Opera Moments" only by the time that other character (name?) was buried alive with a speaker over which her tormentor could tease and terrify her. Awesome daytime viewing.

Posted by: Trace at February 21, 2009 9:52 AM

That is kewl, but you do not hate nature... you love gardinas, gerbers, and an array of hairy mammals. And then of course there is Mr. Husband.

Posted by: Cele at February 21, 2009 11:35 AM

Seriously, about that gross product of yours. make this concoction.
Place a teaspoonful of dried Rosemary (the herb) and a teaspoonful of dried Thyme in a teapot or failing that s 2 cup measuring jug.
Add boiling water
Let it sit.
Strain ( or you'll be spitting stuff out)
Drink hot or cols.
You can sweeten with honey if you want.
If you like cinnamon sprinkle a little of that

this really really and truly and honestly (I swear on my cat's sweet black nose_ breaks down the mucous and phlegm and gunk in the chest and the nose.

And thanks for being able to write so nicely when you feel so nasty.

And all I can say about Scott is


Posted by: Gillian at February 22, 2009 1:30 AM

I got a good one, too! Your post is a good reminder to tell him how great I think he is! I always tell my daughters to "Be Picky, the good ones are out there but you have to sort through the rest!"

Posted by: Rene at February 22, 2009 2:12 AM

Awww. And what makes us like Mr. Husband best is that, even though we joke that we'd love to steal him, we know he is un-stealable!

While I like my movie men all MANLY, I don't so much love getting a stray chest hair poking up my nose. Of course, that may happen because hubby's a full foot taller than me. :-p

Posted by: Brigitte at February 22, 2009 7:14 AM


That made ME all moist and gooey.

Posted by: Amy-Go at February 22, 2009 1:29 PM

AWW! He is so sweet!

Posted by: Heather P. at February 22, 2009 10:32 PM

Awe. Some.

Posted by: Lisa at February 23, 2009 9:21 AM

I just have time for 2 quick comments because I'm "working."

1. I remember when Marlena was demon possessed! I think that's when my mom and I swore off Days until the plot got better.

2. Ah-ha! I suspected from the way you talked about the Gulf Coast in the girl who stopped swimming that you knew the Panhandle very well. I grew up there and I think that's why I loved the book so much.

And now I have to get back to "work."

Posted by: Jenn at February 23, 2009 11:29 AM

One. I could live without milk chocolate, but dark chocolate, that is my weakness. A box of hand-picked dark-only confections from Godiva would be a wonderful gift indeed.

Two. I really miss having gardenia bushes in my front yard. They were between the garage and the front door, so I smelled them whenever I came or went. Must put some in at the new house.

And three. When was Marlena demon-possessed? I do not recall that from my Days watching years.

What a great husband. :)

Posted by: Terri at February 24, 2009 3:45 PM