October 29, 2008

An If/Then Primer on Being Happy. (Or Not)

If you are running short on time, then skip to the end --- I NUTSHELL the whole blog for you.

If you want to be HAPPY, go see puppets.

We went last weekend to see the GHASTLY DREADFULS follies, and it was the most fun date night we have had in AGES. It’s technically innovative, with special effects that make you go, “HOW!” And the vignettes are spooky, funny, touching and rowdy by turns. The Dreadfuls are on again this weekend for Halloween, and if you live in Atlanta, you should GO.

WARNING: These puppets are for grown-up people --the center rates it 16+. There is a cash bar running (you can take your wine into the theatre with you!) and the show itself has a smattering of adult language, a soupcon of innuendo, and some boobies. Granted, they are PUPPET boobies, but still.

Before the show you can hang out with spooky tall dead people, LIKE THIS:


For the record, that puppet is not feeling me up. It’s an optical illusion.

If you want to NOT be happy, EVER, and eventually get a terrible ulcer that explodes and kills you, then hire Comcast to be your internet and cable TV service provider. Of course, if you live where *I* live, you have no choice, if you want high speed internet. AND THEY KNOW IT.

Our TV and phone service cut out 5 or 6 times EVERY DAY, and at LEAST three times a year, either the TV or the Internet r BOTH will cease to function for days and days and days, and no one will be available to come fix it. “We’re sorry,” They say cheerfully. And then we say, “Well what are you going to DO about it?” And they say, “Well it shouldn’t be doing that! You connection looks fine now! Thanks for calling!” Because they KNOW we have no place else to go.

Come soon Beautiful WiMax. Come soon.

This LAST time, it was the internet that pooped out. We waited four days for a service guy to come. I sat at home through our 8 – 11 am time slot. He finally came at 2:15. He stomped around for an hour, then said it was fixed. I booted up my computer and sure enough, we had internet! WHEEE!

All was forgiven. I saw the truck off with joyous wavings. Then I went inside, flopped down on the sofa, hit the button on the remote…and realized he had somehow disconnected our Television service.

Here’s the punchline: When I called Comcast, they said they couldn’t; get a service guy out for another 3 days. I am VERY GROMPY about it, and I need to go back and get felt up by kindly dead puppets until I feel soothed.

Nutshell Version:

HAPPY = Puppets, Cash Bar, Cardboard Boobiess

MISERY (possible death by ulcer) = Comcast

Posted by joshilyn at October 29, 2008 4:24 PM

Puppets--YAY! I work in the library and we use puppets very actively in our programs. And let me tell you, some of our best puppet shows are the ones done for adults at conferences, staff days, etc. I probably shouldn't tell the kind of gestures that our puppets make while they are behind the stage waiting for the person in front of the stage to stop talking and start the show! Yes, my co-worker and I are 12.

P.S. Is that the correct link where it says go see puppets? Right now it links to the Crossroads Writers Conference where a lovely Joshilyn is featured prominently.

Posted by: Kristin at October 29, 2008 5:07 PM

Get Direct TV with TIVO and then get the internet from South Central Bell or SOMEBODY else. Then maybe Comcast will go trick or treat elsewhere!

Posted by: Marty at October 29, 2008 5:19 PM

You think Comcast is bad? Try Charter. Here in Auburn, they are the ONLY cable providers. TV? Charter. Land phone? Charter. Internet? Charter. They are SO BAD and SO INCOMPETENT it is insanely frustrating. The City of Auburn Chamber of Commerce held a PUBLIC MEETING to address how bad they were. I couldn't be there, but I heard it was PACKED OUT and the complaints portion went way over an hour. CHARTER SUCKS. End of story.

I want puppet shows. So. very. badly. Jealous.

Posted by: Emily at October 29, 2008 5:55 PM

I finally got Verizon FIOS last month. But Comcast had one more horror for me. Even though I cancelled my Comcast on the 10th, they took out payment for the next month on the 30th. I complained, and they said that their automatic payment system is only updated at the beginning of the month, so there was nothing they could do. But did they refund my $180 electronic payment? NO, of course not. They only cut CHECK refunds, and they only cut checks at the beginning of the month and mail them some time after that, so I will have to wait until MID NOVEMBER to get my $180 back that they held without my permission for 8 weeks or so. Do you think I'll get interest for that time? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Posted by: Jen at October 29, 2008 6:39 PM

The church that I've been dating is having a 'trunk or treat' Friday. I've never heard of one except for here. I've great good hopes for this church to be a keeper.

Posted by: pam at October 29, 2008 10:13 PM

I agree that Comcast is the worst. When I was in college they were the ONLY service also. And since they KNEW that college students had to have the internets or DIE they mistreated us thusly as they did you.

I want a scary puppet to feel me up!

Posted by: Nik at October 30, 2008 1:44 AM

Speaking of puppet boobies, hope you've had the chance to see Ave Q on one of your trips to nyc. It's quite off color (I've only heard the soundtrack).
Sorry for your Comcastic issues. Just read about my sister waking up to no Road Runner internet or tv. They've all got us by the short ... wires.

Posted by: Elizabeth J at October 30, 2008 9:59 AM

aHA! So that spooky tall dead person puppet WAS feeling you up! But hey, at least it made you feel better.

Posted by: Aimee at October 30, 2008 10:39 AM

I TOTALLY feel your pain. Except with ours, it is our electrical service. So in say, the middle of June, clear and sunny, no wind, our power goes out for THREE days. Not only no tv, no internet, no phone - no WATER as we have a well. Talk about grouch! If the wind blows or a snowflake falls, shhhhwingggg! Into the dark we are plunged.

Posted by: Rikki at October 30, 2008 2:01 PM

How ironic - I wanted to e-mail a friend about the Ghastly Dreadfuls because I thought she'd like it, but unfortunately her Comcast internet is out right now - LOL.

Posted by: Jessalyn at October 30, 2008 7:21 PM

So I am taking it that Scott took the picture for his own puppet joy? My husband would of.

Counting my blessings that I don't have to go comcastic, and that Charter is much better on my side of the country. wwhhhheeee!

Posted by: Cele at October 30, 2008 8:23 PM

I guess you guys can't get high speed internet through the phone? We use verizon and they almost never have an outage. And they're not terribly expensive. No extra installment or anything. Just used the phone lines already there. Comcast is our local cable provider and they are stinky.

Posted by: donna lee at October 30, 2008 8:25 PM

Comcast is the devil

and not even a handsome devil at that

Posted by: Lisa at October 30, 2008 10:48 PM