June 14, 2008


THE POLLS ARE CLOSED! No more entries will be accepted. And if you missed the boat, (or the boat-like object with a mighty rack of its own) you can go see what the contest was about HERE By the way, I especially enjoyed the entries that named this the DEATH FARTS contest. Hee. Because? I am twelve.

AND, in case the above paragraph did not give it away… the number one way the Jill Fink cartoon differs from my life is:

I DO have a picture of a ship on my wall, but Best Beloveds know MY ship has boobs and is being driven through an alien wasteland by a melting cat. You can see the ship painting I own here, and in several other entries.

It was not enough to say I would not HAVE a ship picture – you had to mention a picture I DO have. I accepted a mention of either space cat OR the hat lady, or even use of the word “surrealist.” ONE OF YOU even had the artist’s name right! WELL DONE!
(If you just said I would not have a ship pic, or if you thought the ship pic was a window and said I do nto live near a large body of water, I counted that as a close call and your name went into the second drawing.)

The few, the proud, the Space Cat Remember-ers are:

Bonnie Ann C.
Christina R.
Corrie B. W.
Deb R.
Elena G.
Elizabeth F.
Jill W.
Leigh F.
Liz A. M.
Megan R.
R. Dahlman
Roxanne L.
Tracey H.


Everyone OTHER than Bonnie Ann C. stayed in the hat, and they were joined by the the many, the ALSO proud, the chairlamptootpaper rememberer-ers, who got one or more of the following answers correct:

2) I would never leave Bagel alone with that enticingly plush and clearly delicious chair. He would eat it. It is also acceptable to note that I would never have such a pristine and bit of furniture; what Bagel does not eat, the cats shred. You can see what an ACTUAL chair that has been subjected to my pets looks like here.

3) The LAMP is wrong – remember we had a whole big LAMP ordeal and finally Scott got a 12 dollar Walmart lamp to make me hush and told me I could replace it? Over a year later, and as predicted, I STILL use that 12 dollar lamp.... Here it is…

4) I would leave after the first toot. It has been well documented on the blog that Bagel can clear whole MALLS with one blast, and as Tracey H. put it, “If Bagel's toots are anything like my Boxer, Riley's, Joshilyn would be gone (or dead) after the first one. No Mulligans for Riley.”

5) I would be reading a novel. Not the paper. It is also acceptable to note that I get most of news via the internet or have some other reason that I would not be reading the paper, like no time.

Adrienne G.
Aimee P.
Amy H.
Beth R.
Bridget R. (quel)
Brigitte B.
Carrie C.
Caryn M.
Casey S.
Conspicuous Chick
Cathy R.
Deanna R.
Debra D.
Desi A.
Emily C.
Erin S.
Gail P.
Haven K.
Holly B.
Jess J.
Jessalyn A.
Jessica T.
Jessie M.
(JMLK) Melisa C.
Julia H.
Julie F.
Julie S.
Kim B.
Rebecca K.
Klint D.
Laura H.
Laurie B.
Lisa F.
Michelle M.
Pamela L.
Pat G.
Peggy M.
Penny P. R.
Rachel P.
Robin P.
Sara G.
Sara L.
Tara K.
Tracy (Lillith02)


Some of the more, ahem, CREATIVE entries:

Holly B. pointed out that Bagel’s fart are probably NOT MUSICAL. Hee. Correct!

Bridget said, “Would you really sit in your living room buck naked? What would your momma say?”

And in the same vein, SEVERAL of you mentioned that I have hair, I would be wearing BETTER shoes than that stick figure is sporting, and three of you pointed out that the stick figure is most DEFINITELY missing the mighty rack---( Mr. Husband, for example, noticed THAT one right off. Go figure.)

The missing rack of might was also noticed by Frank Turner Hollon, one of my FAVORITE writers, and I transcribe the whole of his….BARKING MAD entry here:

1) There are no paintings of boats on your walls, only plump naked white ladies eating bite-sized dried fruit.
2) Your torso is one size larger than the torso of the newspaper-reading cartoon person, barely.
3) You are not disgusted by dog-gas, and in fact, you think it smells like Purple Monkey Cranberry-Fig Sugar Scrub.
4) You don't own a lamp.
This is the first contest I have ever entered, and I sure hope I win something sweet-smelling. To be honest, my entry must be placed in the category of people who have "entered your house." Although nobody was home, I once crawled though your bathroom window, dug around in your refrigerator, and stole a pair of your husband's underpants out of the dirty clothes basket.
I hope you will forgive me and declare me the winner soon.

Unfortunately, stealing underpants is an immediate disqualifier---when will these attourneys learn to READ THE FINE PRINT? A loser is you, Frank.

On the other hand, HE GOT TO DO A CAMEO in the movie they are making out of his book, LIFE IS A STRANGE PLACE (the film is called Barry Munday) so he loses MORE because he does not need sweet smelling callous free feet now that he is a big time movie star. If his contract calls for a beach scene, he can wear crocs or call in a Hollywood Foot Double.

Heather T. and others noted that every room in my house has books in it. Correct! And I am ASHAMED it was not on my list! The following folks entered with true-but-not-on-my-list differences, OR they sent in amusing entries…like Shawn’s contention that “Nothing differs......art imitating life.... :-)???????” The following names joined all the others above for the last two drawings.

Amy M,
Elizabeth J.
Heather T.
Shawn M.

Winners: JulieB and Elena G.

Posted by joshilyn at June 14, 2008 7:33 AM

I may not have won anything (semi-bitter congrats to those who DID! I really wanted to try that foot scrub stuff, dammit) but I am proud of the fact that I got five things right, including the number one thing AND the thing you wish you'd thought of yourself. HA!

So, when do I get my BlogStalker Merit Badge?? :-)

Posted by: DebR at June 14, 2008 7:53 AM

Oooh, I WON SOMETHING???? YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Joss, we your loyal blogstalkers appreciate the time you've put into this contest--plus, it was so much...FUN. I limited myself to one entry (well, the fact that I'm working another 50 hour week and actually need to leave for work right now limited me) but I feel sure that I could have gone on....and on...and on...the chair thing totally ocurred to me.
Also, DebR, you won one of the little statues Joss' brother made, and I have not been able to make my way to the Midwest to steal it from you yet, so I loose a mighty HaHA in your direction. Not that I can cherish bitter bloggy resentment for years, or anything, you haiku writer, you.

Posted by: Elena at June 14, 2008 8:11 AM

I KNEW the books were missing. *takes a bow* Was hoping to win a copy of your newest b/c I am too broke to do my usual purchasing of a hardbacked signed copy of your loveliness. Am pouting, but it appears putting enough money for 3 copie sof the book into my gas tank is not a bi-weekly requirement.

Posted by: Heather at June 14, 2008 12:05 PM

Cannot type...

"putting enough money for 3 copies of the book into my gas tank is NOW a bi-weekly requirement."

Posted by: Heather at June 14, 2008 12:06 PM

Aw, I entered and I got it right (I said something about reading the newspaper online) but I don't see my name. I hope you got my email because it was a gushy fan email as well as an entry! GUSHY!

Posted by: Marla at June 14, 2008 1:01 PM

SQUEEE! I'm so excited! Thank you. Now I won't worry about pimping out my copy of "gods in Alabama" because I will have a seekrit treasure copy for Me, Me, Me alone!!!!

Seriously, thank you very much.

Posted by: JulieB at June 14, 2008 2:44 PM

Even though I didn't win, I'm just excited I got one of the top five reasons right!

And you know, I KNEW it was picture, but I thought that was just too.... *obvious*. >.<

Congrats to all the winners! :D

Posted by: Jess at June 14, 2008 5:24 PM

Elena speaks truth
but damn!...That scrub sounded nice!
Hiding statue now.


Posted by: DebR at June 14, 2008 6:22 PM

Wee! Very cool!

Posted by: RandomRanter at June 14, 2008 9:27 PM

Congratulations to the winners. To the Crabtree house for the rest of us! ;) <3 <3 <3 Thank you Joshilyn for having this contest/raffle and sharing with the world not only your books but a part of your life as well. And thank you Jill Fink for the wonderful comic strip and helping create wonderful healthy and beautiful products. :)

Posted by: KlintD at June 14, 2008 11:14 PM

Well, I must say I am pretty pleased to have gotten 2/5 of the contest right, since I am indeed a BB but only for the last couple of years. I am a Junior BB. A BB Junior? I am still working on my BB badges, I guess. I've got one with pink socks on it, one with a mighty rack stuck under a bed...but not one with a crazy painting of a cat flying a ship, so...there you go. Junior BB.

Anyway...woo! Fun contest!

Posted by: Erin at June 15, 2008 12:08 AM

I'm thrilled I got 2/5 too, and even more thrilled that a FAMOUS AUTHOR had to type my name! Why, that's practically like being featured in one of her books. :-D

Posted by: Brigitte at June 15, 2008 6:51 AM

So who had enough time, energy, and creativity to enter 27 times? Inquiring minds, and all that...

Posted by: amy at June 15, 2008 2:51 PM

SQUEEE!!! My BFF won 1st prize!! And I can't track her down to squee with her... hope the family vacation didn't eat her up this weekend :-)

Posted by: Beth at June 16, 2008 9:41 AM

CONGRATS to all of the AWESOME winners! SQUEEE is right! I'm so thankful (and thrilled enough that I've squeeed all over my house, at work, and in the car every time I think about it...for over a week now) that Joshilyn posted the contest and my card. Joshilyn, YOU rock and your BB's rock, too. I've been a great fan for quite a while and will remain so. Fuh-evah.

You're welcome, KlintD; I try to do my part ;)

I'd also like to thank Bagel for being my inspiration for the card. Thanks, you good, gaseous doggie, you!

Posted by: Jill at June 18, 2008 8:20 AM