May 14, 2008

Half a List and a Pretty Fat

1) I like lists. They unstick me. I was talking with my friend Lydia yesterday on the phone about this book, bouncing ideas off her, riffing, you know? And I said, “I BET ROSE LIKES TO MAKE LISTS!” And we both started laughing as we realized…

a) I have never actually given my main character in any book a list making fetish. BUT!
b) But I have ALSO never written a novel without suggesting to Lydia, at some point, that main character has a list making fetish. And. Of course:
c) I HAVE A LIST MAKING FETISH. And so it makes sense that
d) This blog entry is already a list inside a list. SEE?

2) I am abandoning the list. NOW.

I HAVE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU! I am IN the latest Jen Lancaster book! She wrote Bitter is the New Black and she is wicked wicked wicked funny, and I mean the wicked in a lot of different ways, all good. I first heard about her books from the Birmingham media rep, Mary Noble, when I was on tour. Mary Noble grabbed me by the ears and told me I HAD to read this woman’s books, “SHE IS LIKE US,” Mary Noble said. “SHE COULD BE IN THIS CAR WITH US, AND WE WOULD BE JUST AS HAPPY AS WE ARE RIGHT NOW.”

Which was pretty happy. I <3 Mary Noble, who has a cosmic understanding of how a grilled cheese sandwich SHOULD be made (On white bread. With butter. And American cheese.) Mary Noble was the rep with me when I was accused of wanting to bake dogs in pies and eat them while cackling in absolute pleasure, which, I will admit, when it comes to my own specific favorite dog, Bagel, and his propensity to eat MY OWN SPECIFIC FAVORITE SHOES and treat the cat box like a salad bar and his recent decision that SIT is a word that means he has the OPTION to touch his butt to the floor IF I am holding a pork chop…well. We have our dark moments, Bagel and I. But I have, in my defense, never YET shot him or even killed him gently. POINTS, ME!

ANYWAY, in Jen Lancaster’s NEW book, she mentions that she is listening to BETWEEN, GEORGIA on audio while at the gym and then she cries while doing curls. Cries in a good way. I think. I HOPE. Anyway. I think it’s weird that I was reading her book and in it there is a scene where she was reading my book. It’s very …picture of a kid on a cereal box holding a cereal box with a picture of a kid holding a cereal box on THAT cereal box, and so on, until the atom splits and infinity is reached or blows up or whatever happens.


The book is Such a Pretty Fat and it was particularly engaging to me as I am currently at WAR with my own butt about what size it is going to be (It was one size before tour, and now it has become a DIFFERENT size, and I* want the old size but my butt likes the new one. And my butt has chocolate and butter and cookies and pasta and CHEETOS fighting on its side,whiel all I have is the elliptical and grim determination. Small wonder my butt is WINNING.) Anyway, point is, if you want to laugh until your brains come out your nose, go get this book.

Posted by joshilyn at May 14, 2008 6:46 PM

Wait... people think there is another way to make grilled cheese? That is so WRONG. They should be smacked.

And now I have to go buy that book. Thank you, I am going to go broke reading your blog.

Posted by: toni mcgee causey at May 14, 2008 7:51 PM

Uh...please tell me that I'm not alone in the world, eating my white bread/butter/american cheese...with mayo. Right? Right? Let me tell you, it is so good, you won't care if you can actually feel your thighs enlarging.
Not that mine do.
Ever. (dodges lightning bolt)

p.s. (read in girly squeal-ly voice: I just finished reading TGWSS and I loved it! I "extended" my lunch hour just to finish the dang thing! Squee!)

Posted by: ellbee at May 14, 2008 8:05 PM

(NOT book related, but totally grilled cheese related.)

My grandma was named Mary Noble, and yes, she knew how to make "the" grilled cheese sandwich. She has been gone for over 10 years but reading this entry brought back a lot of memories. Our own experiences and memories color everything we see and do, but that is the beauty of you, Joshilyn, that we can be touched in so many ways by your writing.

Posted by: Kristin at May 14, 2008 8:38 PM

*sigh* Lillian makes grilled cheese sandwiches with Haavarti cheese instead of American and I know you'll look all squinty-eyed at me forever and never trust me again but they really are delicious!

And all dogs have their Bad Dog moments, but how can you stay consistently mad at a dog who moistens bunnies?

Posted by: Fran at May 14, 2008 11:10 PM

I laugh at the image of your butt beating you in a war!

My husband made an entry on his running list to go over his old lists and cross off the entries he had done! AND he has me check his lists for spelling.

Posted by: Brigitte at May 15, 2008 5:36 AM

Actually, there IS a way to make a grilled cheese sandwich even better: BACON!!! of course, that's in addition to the butter and the American cheese and the white bread :-)

Posted by: Beth at May 15, 2008 9:34 AM

Ditto, Beth. And add sliced green tomato.

Posted by: Kalynne Pudner at May 15, 2008 12:03 PM

I so want to just be one of us (the "us" that knows how to properly grill a cheese sammich, which should go without saying in all it's white bread/butter/american cheese glory) but I must know -- does the use of Miracle Whip rather than mayo lead to a total shunning by one and all? (because if it does maybe I never actually said that.)

And also with a bowl of tomato soup and/or a wee-sized bag of potato chips, right? Right?

(note: my butt and I recently reached detente when I promised to stop trying to destroy it and it promised to stop tripling it's gravitational pull whenever it neared my couch. Wish us luck.)

Posted by: Femtastic at May 15, 2008 1:43 PM

I just finished Bitter Is the New Black last week and when I read that she had mentioned you, Joss, I was all, whowhatwherewhennnnn??? Thank goodness it was a different book, I was worried!

Posted by: Elena at May 15, 2008 9:38 PM

Ooooo, I shiny sequin heart lists. I have lists all over my house. I have lists on my ppc. I have lists on my pda. Lists are HAWSUM.

Posted by: Dory at May 16, 2008 9:26 AM

Oh, I'm in big trouble I'm thinking, I make my grilled cheese on sourdough with Swiss Cheese.

Posted by: Cele at May 16, 2008 12:21 PM

I saw that "Wanted" poster of you down at the Humane Society. Says you like to kill puppies. Is that right?

Anyway, who said MAYO on grilled cheese? No! You have the right recipe. Do you butter both sides of the bread? I think my mom did, for extra butterfatty goodness, though I think she used margarine, which shall forever to her be "Nucoa."

Posted by: Suebob at May 17, 2008 8:44 PM

My granny called it "oleo."

Just getting started on the novels...already purchased them all -- autographed! Thank you for leaving a signature trail all over B'ham. Started reading "gods in Alabama" on a plane to California...that's one way to make a five-hour plane ride feel too short ...finished it on the trip, off to "Georgia!"

Posted by: ivy green at May 18, 2008 1:09 AM

Rose? Book Ideas?

Could this be the book on Rose Mae Lolley?!

AH. I'm such a freak. You should know, I have not ever taken such a profound interest in an author before. And I'm quite the book worm... And only 15. No life, much? ;)

Anyways, I totally loved Rose Mae Lolley's character. I bet she still has a lot to say. And I am going through Joshilyn Jackson book withdraw.. I've read all your books already :(

Luckily, Augusten Burroughs has kept me sane. He's my second favorite author and if you love dark, horrific, and just plain wrong humor--He writes your kind of books.


Posted by: Emily Garmon at May 20, 2008 10:42 AM