November 20, 2007

You a BIRD! (Possibly a bad one)

HELLO! Are you prepping for Thanksgiving? We have last year’s turkey still in the freezer from when we forgot to cook it. I’m not sure what we ended up doing? Do you think we can cook that turkey NOW? It is neatly packaged and has never been unfrozen and looks like any other turkey…I pulled it out to thaw. Do you think we will all die of Evil Meat?

I don’t really CARE for turkey. Maybe I should put it in the trash and see if it isn’t too late to get a Honey Baked Ham. I could make corn pudding and green beans and call it a day.

Sorry to have gone silent! I was in Fairhope, possibly my favorite city-lette in the universe, catching up with the plethora of writers I love who live there and participating in Southern Writers Reading. That fest is like my yearly lost weekend. I can’t explain to you what a hair pouch is, or why MC HAMMER meant to sing about it and forgot, and why it is good if someone comes up and yells YOU A BIRD in your face…these things are Fairhope things, and you should just COME next year. Maybe YOU will get a YOU A BIRD face-yell and you can stay at the Grand Hotel and do all your Christmas shopping!

Then, there was NO INTERNET yesterday, and we called COMCAST and waited on hold forever hearing a recorded voice babble on about how they are all Comcastic and stuff, and finally a human came on the line, or the voice of something PURPORTING to be human ( though I suspect otherwise, ) and said there was no outage in our area and scheduled a service call for a HUNDRED MILLION YEARS IN THE FUTURE, and I was equal parts disconsolate and righteously irked UNTIL I realized that the dog-n-kitten show had taken it on the road and unplugged a vital plug thing. HEH.

BUT! I do not even feel bad for all the VERY BAD WORDS I called them in my head, because Comcast not working is a sore place that has been poked into a perma-bruise. Comcast is like the little boy who cried, “I SUCK!” They HAVE sucked! Sucked SO many times that when the cable doesn’t work, I go from not remembering they exist to wishing wolves WOULD come eat them, BOOM, instantly, in half a heartbeat.

AT ANY RATE, I am VERRA VERRA happy because the first review for TGWSS happened…Publisher’s Weekly. I was NOT expecting reviews already, and they liked it they liked it they really really liked it. Pub Weekly is an industry review – it’s for booksellers and distributors and such, so it comes out a few months pre-pub, but this is EARLY! ANYWAY usually industry reviews are about 80% summary and 20% review, and in this one, the tone of the summary and the review parts are ALL POSITIVE and lovely and the whole thing makes my heart to sing. It says:

Jackson matches effortless Southern storytelling with a keen eye for character and heart-stopping circumstances… What makes this novel shine are its revelations about the dark side of Southern society and Thalia and Laurel’s finely honed relationship, which shows just how much thicker blood is than water.


How tragic that JUST after this review, I am destined to die of bad meat!

Posted by joshilyn at November 20, 2007 6:26 AM

Congrats on the great PW review. As someone who has also read TGWSS and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it, I am not at all surprised. You done good, girlfriend.
As for the turkey- I've been buying just the breast the last few years- cooks faster, no waste and enough for late night sandwiches. You should be worrying about the cocktails, not the turkey-- Sheesh!

Posted by: Linda at November 20, 2007 7:09 AM

Well, of course they loved it! I cannot wait to read it.

Hey, if you do get a ham, you have gotta make pineapple casserole. It's a heart attack in a dish (at least the way I make it, with a pound of cheddar and a stick of butter) but damn is it good with ham.

Posted by: jenn at November 20, 2007 8:05 AM

Please do not die of bad meat. I would miss you. ;)

Posted by: Mir at November 20, 2007 8:06 AM

BOOHYAH for the fab review and the lost week-end and the "You a Bird" shout out.

And because I want you around to entertain me for many years to come, do NOT eat the turkey. Ham is your friend this year!

Posted by: Lisa at November 20, 2007 8:21 AM

YAY for the good review!! I'm SO ready to read this book!

FWIW, the turkey won't kill you, but it probably won't taste as good as one that hasn't been hanging out in the freezer district for a year. And since you said you don't like even good turkey as much as ham, I'd say go for the ham, if it's not too late to get one!

Posted by: DebR at November 20, 2007 8:23 AM

oh I can't WAIT to read TGWSS!!!! are you going to come back to the Alabama Booksmith for a signing? ihopeIHopeIHOPE

Posted by: Elena at November 20, 2007 8:31 AM

Please, please, don't eat the turkey! (Sung to the tune of "Don't Eat the Daisies.") We need you around to entertain us. I have lurked here for years and am so happy for your successes! I recently listened to Between on a looong drive back to New Orleans to meet the movers (not that you needed to know that)and can't tell you how fabulous it was to hear your voice reading the words I'd already read!! Twice! You are mean to tease me with your fab review because I am merely a fan and don't have ARC of TGWSS...have to wait until it is published for real and true. I have already put aside the money for TGWSS and am truly happy for you and the great review. You crack me up each day with your blog and your wonderful family. Have a great Thanksgiving and, Doris, please, please, don't eat the turkey!

Posted by: Elise at November 20, 2007 8:37 AM

I'm with DebR, the turkey won't kill you, but you may want to die after you taste. Me, personally, I'm not a ham person at all, but if that't your thing and it makes you happy then I say go for the ham. Hmmmm...I just realized that I don't really like ham, but I loooove bacon. What's up with that?

As for TGWSS? Are you trying to kill us with anticipation? Sheesh, lady! Congrats on the excellent reviews. I don't think any of us (i.e., your readers) expected otherwise.

Posted by: Madame Queen at November 20, 2007 9:13 AM

Congrats on the great review! That's awesome.

As for the turkey, it won't hurt you. It will be fine to cook and it, but no guarantees as to the quality of the taste.

Get a honeybaked ham, too, just to be on the safe side.

Have a good one!

Posted by: Keetha at November 20, 2007 9:50 AM

They loved it? Color me unshocked. Congrats!

Happy Thanksgiving, bird or no bird. ;)

Posted by: Amy-Go at November 20, 2007 9:54 AM

Huzzah! for the review. So when do the ARCs come out? I ask because, last night, I had a very vivid dream wherein you had a contest and I won a TGWSS ARC, but then was in emotional turmoil about whether to be happier that I got to read it early, or sadder that I'd now have to wait longer for your NEXT book. Happy won, eventually, but it was very tiring.

PS: do not die of bad meat. Eat ham and live!

Posted by: Aimee at November 20, 2007 10:37 AM

Just remember that it is only a freezer, not suspended animation. buy a new one.

Posted by: peggy S at November 20, 2007 11:00 AM

That birdie may have flown the coop. (ahem) freezer.

I don't think it'll win any prizes, but I don't think it'll kill you...

Posted by: daysgoby at November 20, 2007 11:13 AM

The waiting is painful. I might have to partake of the Evil Meat.

Posted by: Lisa Milton at November 20, 2007 11:16 AM

As a fellow human, I also enjoy picking on Comcast and their customer service robots. This cartoon always makes me laugh:

I am excited to read TGWSS! Congrats on the review.

Posted by: Dave at November 20, 2007 11:16 AM

The review sounds great. . .too bad I can't go to my freezer and pull out a copy of TGWSS to thaw. I must wait and wait and wait forever. . . .

Posted by: Roxanne at November 20, 2007 11:41 AM

it couldn't taste any worse than tofurkey.....which you might actually like.

Posted by: dramamama at November 20, 2007 11:46 AM

Yay, PW review! Now booksellers will order lots and lots of copies, and lots and lots of people will read TGWSS! Yay!

Re: the turkey. I'm with the "it won't kill you but it will taste not so great" crowd. Why don't you put strips of bacon over the breast while it's cooking? It will reverse some of the freezer flavour and dried out-ness, and if you aren't a huge turkey person in the first place, you might not mind adulterating turkey flavour with bacony flavour.

My grandmother and her best friend used to fight about this technique every year. As a result, we spent many Christmases eating dinner in restaurants!

Posted by: Pamela at November 20, 2007 12:27 PM

If you feel you just must have turkey, buy a butterball breast, thaw it, put it in the crockpot with a stick of butter, turn it on low and go to bed. Voila! Ready the next morning. No kidding. I do it every year. And yes, I did say a stick of butter - only. Will melt in your mouth.

Hubby told me he doesn't like pork, after I had cooked a wonderful pork chop recipe. I reminded him he loved ham. He said, "that's not pork." This from a man raised in the south - on a FARM, with livestock!!

I can't wait to read TGWSS either. When is it out? March? You make it very difficult not to wish our lives away!

Posted by: Rhonda at November 20, 2007 2:03 PM

Congrats on the review!!
Honeybaked is the way to go and it's not too late, unless you have to have it shipped to you.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Posted by: Heather at November 20, 2007 4:27 PM

yay for good reviews. waaaah for those of us who have to wait f.o.r.e.v.e.r. to get to read it ourselves!

(and dont eat the bad meat. no no)

Posted by: janet at November 20, 2007 7:08 PM

Well of course you got good reviews in PW. How could you not? AND it'll be a BookSense pick too, I have no doubt. Hmmm, seems to me that deadline's coming up, come to think of it. Wonder what I should do tomorrow...

Celebrate with ham. It'll make you happy and you'll be able to completely forget the evilness of Comcast. Give the turkey away and feel virtuous about it.

Posted by: Fran at November 20, 2007 10:56 PM

Don't even bother cooking the turkey unless you want Bagel to have a VERY happy Thanksgiving - I am one of those who think it won't be poison, but won't taste good either.

That Turkey breast-n'-butter in the crockpot thing posted by Rhonda sounds good, and easy enough you can do that AND a ham!

Posted by: Brigitte at November 21, 2007 8:03 AM

Throw that turkey
Most of the Publix stores have fresh turkeys today. Honeybaked would be good too. Call first and make sure they have extra.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your sweet family.

Posted by: jean at November 21, 2007 9:00 AM

Late commenting here, but am SO JEALOUS OF MY FRIEND DOUG McLAIN who partied with you guys in Fairehope last weekend. He sent your greeting to me, which helped. And I was sick and would have been miserable being there and being sick. AND I GOT A LOT OF WRITING DONE, so NEXT YEAR when I go to Fairehope, I hope I've got something to read! Happy Ham Day! (I prefer ham myself!) ANd congrats on the great reviews for TGWSS!!!

Posted by: Susan Cushman at November 21, 2007 5:57 PM

I have a similar forgotten turkey in my big freezer. I don't remember if it's been in there for one year or two. I could probably generate enough brain energy to recall if it really mattered that much. But it doesn't. I thought of the horror of defrosting it and cooking it this year and discovering FREEZER BURN had ruined our Thanksgiving. So I bought a new turkey for tomorrow. However, I plan on defrosting it in December and cooking the bejeesus out of it and serving it as lunch meat when the hordes of family, spouses, and grandkids arrive for Christmas. I'm not worried about it being bad, just dry.

Posted by: Laume at November 22, 2007 2:15 AM