September 17, 2007

GUESS WHAT?!?!?!!!!! (updated!)

OKAY so, GUESS WHAT! I do have something to SAY after you guess, or say “I dunno, what,” in fact I have MOMENTOUS news (or news that seems momentous to ME anyway), but I am already distracted by something shiny. Remember when you were a kid what you would SAY if another kid came up and said GUESS WHAT??!?!! To you?

Well, so does this T-shirt.


I want it.

I found the shirt being advertised on a site that my kids think is LOLarious, and yeah, OKAY, secretly, I have a few times laughed until all organs liquefied and I died. It is called I Can Has Cheezburger, and it is basically a blog that posts hot fresh buttery lolcats, all day long.

If you do not know what a lolcat is, you can love the wiki, but the SHORT version is, it is a picture of a cat being a cat (aka: doing something bizarre) with a caption in broken up lolcat talk, which seems to be a combination of IM speak and the kind of poorly translated directions you find on the back of dollar store toys imported from Asia. Or the directions for putting together extremely complicated electronics…Here is one I like:


See it’s funny just because of the …well LOOK AT IT. But also, it’s funny on a coupla other levels. If you gamed in the 80’s you recognize that LINE of text from the old ZELDA games, and it even mimics the FONT and screen look of Zelda. Smart.

I Can Has Cheezburger stays mostly PG, and the ones that cross the line remain….OBSCURE, so my kids think they are funny even though they don’t actually get the joke.You know, stuff LIKE THIS:




But shoot, a professor at HARVARD is teaching a CLASS that covers lolcats, so THBTHBTHBTHB. <--- mature. No seriously, he has a big point about why we like to anthropomorphize animals, and it interests me. Especially right now: a talking owl just popped up in a scene in the book I am writing.

The faint thump you just heard was maybe my editor, falling out of her chair in New York. wondering what I am THINKING. TALKING OWL? Yes. Talking owl.

If she was here reading this---which she is emphatically not---but if she WAS, I would say, REMEMBER you felt deep chair-falling level skepticism when I told you I was working in a Ouija board scene in TGWSS, but I said, wait and see how it turns out, and now you HEART the ouija scene, and this talking owl, you will heart him.

BESIDES! Talking birds are awesome! Proof:


And yes, the above is a lolcat. Lolcats do not have to have a cat! The internets, she is weird.

Meanwhile, back at GUESS WHAT?!?!?!111 it is time to cue the trumpets and prepare to prance and flollop joyously.


Which means if you need me I will be curled up in a corner with it, trying to read slowly and wishing I was Haven Kimmel approximately 5 times a page. *weep*


Responding to comments here: Me and my kids have not run across much questionable material, other than the erm, safewurd cats, but according to comments it is NOT 100% kid or work safe. So. To avoid Surprises, here are the instructions for putting I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER in ”polite mode”

Posted by joshilyn at September 17, 2007 7:25 AM

Funniest. Bird. Picture. Ever.

Posted by: aka nik at September 17, 2007 8:07 AM

In the House of Many Boys, the Guess What?
Chicken Butt! conversation is alive and never seems to lose its giggle-inducing power. (For the boys. I'm over it.)

Posted by: Anne Glamore at September 17, 2007 9:18 AM

Guess what? It's hard keeping pants on a child.

I'm fine with lolcats doing birds as long as they don't branch off into anthropomorphizing BABIES. That will be too much.

Posted by: Lydia at September 17, 2007 10:10 AM

had so much fun reading your blog this morning.. take care - oh - and I shouted you out on my post this morning.. :)

Posted by: Shelby at September 17, 2007 11:07 AM

Wishing you were Haven Kimmel... a high compliment, indeed. I've never read her books, but of course I went straight to and found them and decided to start with her first one, The Solace of Leaving Early, instead of her new one. One-Click and it's on its way. Thanks for the heads up!

Posted by: Susan Cushman at September 17, 2007 11:50 AM

Just a little observation....LOVE LOVE LOVE the chicken butt t-shirt so I went to the site to look around. And um, some of that stuff is not exactly kid friendly, examples being the rhino with the word horny or "my other ride is in my pants". Just a word of warning sicne you said your kids find it funny. Though I am hopefully assuming they don't know what it means.

Posted by: bailey at September 17, 2007 12:50 PM

You can cheezburger your own photos too. If you go to the Seattle Mystery Bookshop homepage, on the bottom is a photo our own Tammy took of a raven sitting on our shop sign, which is far, far too cool and it's a great picture, and we captioned it with a line from Poe's "The Raven", which is only appropriate since traditionally Poe is credited with writing the first true mystery. We love cheezburgers, but Bailey's right, not all are...innocent.

Posted by: Fran at September 17, 2007 1:59 PM

you *are* Haven Kimmel. I heart your books just as much as you heart hers. (And I've read and loved hers, so I know of what I speak). xx

Posted by: diane at September 17, 2007 2:12 PM

We always said, "Guess What? Chicken Squat!" Which means chicken - well, you know. To which someone would reply, "Put it in a biscuit and eat it hot." Now I haven't scanned the page yet, but that saying is pretty tacky!

Posted by: Rhonda at September 17, 2007 3:14 PM

I have bird pics on my blog if you wanna see...but they're not purty at all.

Posted by: Pattie at September 17, 2007 3:20 PM

I love the bird picture, it gives a whole new meaning to "You Could Poke An Eye Out."

Posted by: Cele at September 17, 2007 8:20 PM

I flippin' LOVE that site. I just about pee my pants every time I go there!

Posted by: Heather at September 18, 2007 9:36 AM

If you like 'Icanhazcheezeburger' you'll love ''. I just discovered it and I'm LMAO at my desk. People are starting to stare...

Posted by: pam at September 18, 2007 1:36 PM

I heart your books MORE than Haven Kimmel's and I still would even if I were not your Tulip. So there. And the bird pic is heeee-larious. ;)

Posted by: Amy-Go at September 18, 2007 8:34 PM

I just totally heart the lolcat site! Thank you so much for posting the link. It still breaks my heart a little each time I look at cute/funny/etc pics of cats as I lost my furry son almost four years ago, but at the same time it keeps all things cat-like close...if you know what I mean.

Oh, and your wish to be HK is nice and all, but YOU are so awesome and you don't even realize it. I sure love me some Zippy, but your passion for the craft shows through in your words in just the same glowing way (to me) as hers. There, I said it. <<running away so you can't slap me and say, "No way!"

Posted by: R. Jill at September 23, 2007 2:35 PM

Funny Stuff!

Posted by: anyjazz at September 24, 2007 5:23 PM