July 23, 2007

I Am a Hypersensitive Fusspot, but my friend Karen ROCKS.

Alas! Once again JOSHES are infesting the comments…One person Joshes and then another and then the Joshes proliferate, until I have to say my standard disclaimer and EVERY TIME I say it I feel like a hypersensitive jerk, but it bugs me too much to let it go…so forgive me for minding, and here we go:

Even though my name is spelled "Joshilyn," it is pronounced "Joss-a-lyn," just like the French name Jocelyn. Weird, I know. Why? No idea. I can give you my mother's phone number and you can ask her; I have never gotten a straight answer.

I don't mind when people mispronounce my full name as “Josh-a-lyn” -- how would they know? Because my name is on a website, and, you know, some BOOKS, most people SEE my name before they hear it. But I TRULY do not like being called Josh, either in print or out loud. It makes me feel like I have excessively hairy forearms and a Y chromosome. The short version of my name that my husband and friends use is "Joss.”

End standard disclaimer.

So, local beloveds, what are you doing WEDNESDAY?

Me, I will be at

Highland Inn Ballroom
644 North Highland Ave.
Atlanta, GA
404-681-5128

Where A Cappella Books is hosting a Ballroom Book Bash for my friend and writing group homey Karen Abbott to celebrate the RAWTHER fabulous launch of her first book, Sin in the Second City which is both getting rave reviews EVERY place and, well, if we wish to be VULGAR and discuss commerce, I will say, just between you and me, it is REALLY taking off. Who is surprised? Not me, it’s an amazing book.

I have the extreme privilege of introducing her at the bash, which means I have to figure out exactly WHICH of my hugely embarrassing Karen stories I want to trot out right before she has to do some public speaking…

If you want to know a bit more before you COMMIT yourself to a Wednesday evening out, you can go listen to Karen discussing hookers and politics (and how's THAT for two things that go together like Twinkies and cream filling???) on NPR’s morning edition...

Posted by joshilyn at July 23, 2007 7:23 AM
Comments

I think you should have a line under your header that says "That's Joss - Ms. Jackson if you're nasty."

(I just totally dated myself with that particular oh-so-'80's reference, didn't I. Ahem.)

Karen- your book sounds good!!

Posted by: DebR at July 23, 2007 8:55 AM

I love DebR's suggestion! That's perfect! I guess I just dated myself, too, but what the heck. With a name like mine I get all kinds of pronunciations too, but none make me sound like I've got a Y chromosome, so I can understand your frustration. In high school my best friend's grandmother called me Louangie and her grandfather called me Leeandrew. Louangie stuck for a long time.

Posted by: Leandra at July 23, 2007 9:03 AM

Oops! Mea Culpa on the misprint of your name. Won't happen again. No Y chromosones in our uncommon names but Mom's name is "Wanna", mine "Rhonda". We get Wanda, Rhoda, Juanita, etc. As a fellow writer, I know the importance of correct names. And like you, Joshilyn, I have to spell my name, first and last, and the road I live on! Life is just messy, ain't it?

Posted by: Rhonda at July 23, 2007 9:13 AM

We are only joshing you, anyway.

Tee hee hee.

Okay, please tell me you have NEVER heard that joke before ever.

Karen's book does look really good; I thought so before when you mentioned her. I will have to go find it. Thanks for the reminder that it's out!

My name is pretty straightforward--you either pronounce the "lau" part LO or LA--but I have had people inform me that I AM PRONOUNCING MY OWN NAME WRONG and lecture me on the correct way to pronounce it. No, really. One benefit of living in Paris, though, is I learned how to give cool incredulous gazes when necessary, so this doesn't happen as often anymore.

Posted by: Laura Florand at July 23, 2007 9:58 AM

Oh, DebR, you had me laughing, laughing, laughing. . .which dates me too.

Joshilyn, since I've never actually say MET you, but I just use my internet voyeur skills to peek in on these little glimpses of your life, I try to not call you any of your names. . .'cause I haven't earned the right. BUT if I should eventually feel I can call you an abbreviated version of your name, I will most certainly call/spell the correct one.

I am Roxanne. I had no middle name until I got married and my maiden name officially slippe into the empty spot. This confused just about everyone and caused me lots of trouble during the pre-married form-filling out section of my life. . .and one time, I KID YOU NOT, I got an entire set of round trip plane tickets that said "Rock Sand" on them. Indeedy. I was a little afraid to get on the plane.

Posted by: Roxanne at July 23, 2007 10:10 AM

I, too, would never refer to you as anything other than Mrs. Jackson (does that make me 'nasty'? :-) but do appreciate the insight into how to pronounce your name for those times I am telling my friends I am reading the BEST book by 'Joshilyn Jackson' -- I will have the smug knowledge that I am pronouncing your name correctly!

Posted by: Sarah S. at July 23, 2007 10:27 AM

I better post quickly if I want to land underneath Roxanne and Sarah!

I surely do wish I were in the neighborhood of North Highland Avenue, Atlanta, because it would so lovely to meet you in person, Joshilyn, pronouced like the French, Jocelyn. I love that your Mom gave you a name that is pronounced differnetly than it is spelled, and that she will not give you a straight answer as to why. So enigmatic, somehow!

Posted by: Stephanie at July 23, 2007 11:25 AM

I was ever so pleased when I heard/read how you pronounced your name - I had been saying it wrong at the bookstore for well over a year.

Oops.

I feel like such an insider now.

(I am not a stalker. Do all stalkers say that?)

Posted by: LIsa Milton at July 23, 2007 11:27 AM

"differently" of course...

Posted by: Stephanie at July 23, 2007 11:27 AM

I am so with you on this. People destroy my first name, which is really my middle name, but who gives a damn. Calista - it gets spelt in many ways, pronounced strangely and it cracks me up. I actually have a collection of miss spelt name tags, envelopes, and letters. The only time it bugs me is when I go some where and someone says "Calista." and inevitably some silver haired woman will turn around with rabid eyes asking, "Flockart?"

It also bugs me when people say my online name wrong. It is from Tolkien, it is elvin, Celebrindal - pronounced Kell-brin-dal. or Kell for short. For some reason people take it to be Selly - is that silly or short for Celery?

Strangly, I have never known a Joshilyn that pronounces her name Josh-i-lyn. They have all be Joss-i-lyn. So I hear you sista.

Posted by: Cele at July 23, 2007 12:08 PM

"Amy" is pretty hard to mess up, but in high school, the school nurse, who we had to see every time we were tardy due to a doctor or dentist appointment, misspelled my name every single time. I had loads of orthodontist appointments, and I'd need a pass. Every single time, she wrote "Aimee." I can't tell you how much this bugged me. That's a lovely way to spell the name, of course, if you're French. I'm not French. Nothing against anything or anyone French, but that's not me. So I completely understand and I don't think you're being hypersensitive at all.

Names are so very intertwined with who we are and how we choose to present ourselves. When others get it wrong, it really rubs the wrong way. It feels like how my cat looks when the kids pet him tail to head instead of the other way 'round. And when we've TOLD people how we feel and they continue to do it the way THEY prefer? Well that just makes me feel a wee bit violent. I'm not French. My kid's name is Nicholas, NOT NICK. You are Joss, not Josh. And so on.

Posted by: amy at July 23, 2007 2:33 PM

My profound apologies if I have ever referred to you as the aforementioned undesirable nickname. I don't think I have but if I did, I'm sorry.

The good news is that I have ALWAYS pronounced your name correctly when recommending your book to everyone I know!

BTW, after sending my mother your books for Mother's Day and her birthday, you have another full-fledged fan. If only she knew what a blog was, she too might hang out here. But she does pronounce your name correct, I made sure of that.

Posted by: Patti D. at July 23, 2007 2:34 PM

goodbye

Posted by: pam at July 23, 2007 7:41 PM

I can identify. I have been called both "Josh-a-lyn" and "Joss-a-lyn" before, but neither of those bother me as much as being called "Jess." Unfortunately I have excessively hairy forearms, but no Y chromosome to justify them - LOL.

Posted by: Jessalyn at July 23, 2007 8:53 PM

I think Pam got her feelings hurt.

Posted by: jean at July 23, 2007 9:17 PM

Em is not even my real name MWAHAHAHAHA!!! But it is my first initial.

My opinion, for what its worth to you, is that the sound of Jocelyn is very pretty but the look of Joshilyn is more appealing to me. So I think everything is as it should be.

I may be realizing the trouble we saved our daughter also. I wanted in the worst way to name her Eva (pronounced Ava). My husband would only name her Ava if we spelled it Ava. I refused based on the the ridiculous reason of A-V-A being how I remembered, in nursing school, that an umbilical cord had 2 arteries and a vein (AVA). Anyway, she would probably just have spent her life telling people her name wasn't "Eve-a". Your mother should have spoken to my husband before she had you :-)

Posted by: Em at July 23, 2007 9:56 PM

Gee, I've seen Cele in the comments before, and always thought it was a nickname for Celia!

I don't think I was one of the "Josh"-ers, but those who were could argue that if Joshilyn is pronounced Joss-a-lyn, then isn't Josh pronounced as "Joss"?

I gave up by my teenage years on having anyone say or spell my name right. I'll answer to "Hey, you!", even.

Posted by: Brigitte at July 24, 2007 7:10 AM

Oh stop apologizing --- I only told you how it was pronounced because otherwise, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW? You LOOK at my name, you never hear it said, it LOOKS like JOSH-a-lyn.
You did not know.
Now you do.
No harm, no foul.

I hate it that explaining how to pronounce my name hurt Pam's feelings (or anyone's feelings, for that matter) but I would rather TELL you than have you go on calling me a name that grates on me. Also, Pam was about the fifth or sixth person to use it in the last coupla days -- she saw other people using it and assumed, quite natuarally, that it was my nickname. I don't BLAME her, or you, or anyone.

My loathing of Josh as a short name I am sure goes back to childhood and teasing -- and yes Laura, the "just Joshing" joke featured largely in it.

ONE EXAMPLE: I remember in elementarty school this particularly WARTY SOULED little monsterette used to say the MEANEST things to me -- mean by elementary school standards, you know, like calling me CASPAR because I was so pale OUCH!--- and and then when I said "stop teasing me" or "You are being mean" she would ENRAGE me by simpering at me like we bestest buds and saying, saying "Oh but ya KNOW I am JUST JOSHIN' YA. HA HA! JOSH! JOSHIN'! GET IT?"

*shudder*

Anyway -- I didn't tell you to be MEAN or to make you feel bad. I'm sorry of anyone took it that way. I told you because if you feel friendly enough toward me to call me by a nickname, I would rather it be one that makes me feel friendly toward you BACK.

J.

Posted by: Joshilyn at July 24, 2007 9:01 AM

Yeah. . .with a name like Roxanne you can imagine that I've heard every version of the Police's sordid love ballad out there. . .normally the Eddie Murphy version. Evidently it's more fun to scream Roxanne. . .then people say, "Has anyone ever done that before????" Then, during high school came, "Roxanne, Roxanne. I wanna be yo man." When I was in high school several boys called me Rock. Nice. In college a lot of boys called me Rox. . .which really WAS nice 'cause they loved me, but none of them wanted to marry me. I knew which boy was gonna marry me when he called me Roxanne from the get go.

And though I don't mind Rox or even Rock, I LOATHE (with the heat of a thousand white hot suns) being called Roxy. . .except when my Uncle Earl called me that, because he ALWAYS called me that. And I loathe (with the heat of a million white hot suns) being called Roxanna. . .except when my dear Cuban neighbor says it, 'cause that's how you SAY Roxanne in Spanish.

With ya on the name thing.

Posted by: Roxanne at July 24, 2007 10:02 AM

How do you pronounce Maisy's name, with a "z" or a "C"? I have a niece named Macy.

Posted by: Rhonda at July 24, 2007 3:57 PM

Good grief. If anyone really got their feelings hurt by this they should grow a spine and get over themselves. Of course, Joss will not like me saying so, because she is MUCH, MUCH nicer than I am. So, hope you're not mad, Tulip. But puh-lease.

Posted by: Amy-Go at July 24, 2007 5:51 PM

Maisy is with a "z" sound, and she's the cutest thing I ever saw in my whole life. I, too, have a relative named Macy. My name, sadly, is so friggin' boring that no one EVER mispronounces it. But once some lady at the doctor's office had a problem with "Abbott."

If anyone is down here on Wednesday, PLEASE come to see me! Yes, I am begging. I just got back from Chicago where I was SPOILED and now I am afraid it will be just me and Joss at the ballroom.

Posted by: Karen Abbott at July 24, 2007 8:58 PM

Knew a Roxanne in high school. She was big, mean, muscular and tough, so she was called "Rocky" (and that was before Stallone's movies).

"Caspar"! Ooh, I feel bad, but it makes me laugh at the same time!

Posted by: Brigitte at July 25, 2007 8:10 AM