October 11, 2006

House of Mouse

This afternoon, we leave for DISNEYWORLD. My parents have taken each grandchild as they have turned four, and now Maisy, their last and littlest , is four.

SO for this final journey into prefabricated plasticene joy, I wanted our WHOLE family to go, including my brother Bobby and his tribe. I called him last year when we were planning this jaunt.

Me: Bobby! Scott and I are going on this final Disney Trek with mom and dad and Sam and Maisy. Want to go???
Bobby: Hmm. I think I would rather put ground glass put into my eyes.
Me: It’s going to be FUN!
Bobby: I think I’d even prefer to then RUB and RUB my eyes until I had NO EYES LEFT.
Me: …So that’s a no?

Bobby is not a Magic Kingdom kind of guy. So then I asked if I could just have his kids. Sure, he said, assuming they want to go. His son is in high school now and Erin is in middle school.
They DID want to come, but my nephew Daniel has a football game.

Genes are weird. My dad went to college on a football scholarship. He was such an amazing field goal kicker that the Alabama papers dubbed him, “The little man with the gold toe.” The Alabama football coach came and scouted him, and they brought him out to the University for a tour. Alas, his uncanny ability to put a pointy ended ball through two poles couldn’t overcome the height requirement. He’s only 5’8” and change. He went to UNA instead. Go Lions!

My brother has all the athletic ability of a cucumber left to molder in a cardboard box under the stairs. I have a little LESS athletic ability than that. Also, sports interest Bobby about as much as Disneyworld. I have never seen him sit down and voluntarily watch a sporting event, and I have been there NOT watching them with him, every time.

And yet here is my nephew, a long, long, tall skinny long thing who can put the ball between the two poles, boom, perfect almost every time, just like my dad, and his team needs him.

SO from that branch, only my niece is coming. If you have read BETWEEN, GEORGIA, THIS NIECE is the fantastical little human who was the template for the character of Fisher. I hate little soggy, sentimental child characters who sunshine around hoping the adults in their lives will soon be romantically fulfilled. It’s SUCH crap.

Real children are bizarre little sociopathic pragmatists--- NOTHING I could make up could match the odd mental shenanigans and quirks of the REAL kids in my life. So I based Fisher on my niece and borrowed little bits of my son as well. That’s very unusual for me --- I don’t USE real people as templates, but I found I almost had to to write a credible five year old.

ANYWAY, we are OFF to DISNEY in just a few. I will post pics HOPEFULLY as technology allows… I am taking the laptop and the digicam, but who knows how my con will be etc etc.

My brother thinks Disney is HELL ON EARTH, but you can’t ascribe pure evil to a place with such relentlessly clean public restrooms. And anyway, on our LAST family vacation, we went to ACTUAL HELL, and it looked nothing LIKE Disneyworld…Here’s a pic of Maisy handfeeding one of the smaller deamons…

Posted by joshilyn at October 11, 2006 3:45 PM

Ok, NOW I am jealous! I love DisneyWorld! But we have to wait until December...

I even have a Disney Blog, although I am hopeless about updating it.

Posted by: Shelley at October 11, 2006 3:58 PM

Dude. I'm SOOO with your brother on this...I think DisneyWorld is an evil beast of a place; Epcot is more acceptable. Though occasionally, Disney movies are good. Not lately, though, and they were much better in the '60s and '70s than now (and I'm technically "too young" to know that cuz I was born in '77, but I had a mom who loved Darby O'Gill and The Gnome Mobile and Charlie the Lonesome Cougar and Bedknobs & Broomsticks and all those wonderful older Disney movies, so we rented those all the time when I was a kid). Disney's Pocohontas can suck my big toe. That most recent pile of crap they made can suck it, too.

Posted by: JenA at October 11, 2006 5:01 PM

I wanna go!

Posted by: Heather Cook at October 11, 2006 7:52 PM

Okay, that is one demonic squirrel! Wicked! And you trust Maisie around such creatures? Of course she's young and therefore probably a match for the thing, unlike my poor pooch who was soundly trounced by an uppity squirrel.

Anyway, have a blast at Disney World. We look forward to wonderful stories!

Posted by: Fran at October 11, 2006 11:12 PM

OOh, I remember the Gnome Mobile!! Darby and the little people,,, I loved them! lol

Have a great time Joshilyn!! Maisy looks completely content, feeding the lil' critter!! Took my eyes a sec to adjust, that golden eye through me off!

weeeeeee, have fun!

Posted by: North at October 12, 2006 12:00 AM

I'm with JenA and Bobby. I grew up going to Disneyland and think what's the big deal. But have fun.

Also JenA is right on about the movie thing. How come Toby Tyler never comes out on DVD?

Posted by: Cele at October 12, 2006 1:18 AM

I hit D-Land a bunch as a kid, but have only been to Epcot in Florida. Can you believe, with a family of 6, that I've never taken them there? Yeah, we hear that as well.
We have friends that go every two years, but not us. I don't really know why. First, i didn't want to go when I was preggers. But I haven't been able to use that excuse for a good 5 years. Then, it was that I wanted them all to be old enough to remember it. With the baby being 5, I don't think it's a problem. Now, I guess it's just the thought of spending over $5000 for a one week family vacation, and that's before we even buy souvenirs.
Maybe when i sell my first book? Yeah, that's the idea. Then I can use that to keep them quiet during the day, so I can write more! Thanks for the idea, Joss, you're an angel.
And that Maisy, brave little soul she is.

Posted by: dee at October 12, 2006 9:33 AM

I'm with your bro. I'd take demonic squirrels any day over people dressed in giant Mouse costumes. But then, I have a soft spot for tree rodents.

My son, wisely, is terrified of adults wearing costumes. So Disney World for him would be like the scariest haunted house ever.

Have fun!

Posted by: Edgy Mama at October 12, 2006 9:48 AM

Have a great time!

Posted by: Aimee at October 12, 2006 10:49 AM

I confess, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Disney World, embarrassing videos of me waving from the merry-go-round like the Queen of Everything (at the oh-so-mature age of 11) notwithstanding. I've been twice, my folks have been 4 times, and are waiting with bated breath for the littlest to be old enough to remember the trip. Hopefully, they'll take us boring parents along for the trip, too.

Although, I do have to say, given the choice, while Disney World is fine every once in a while, for yearly vacations, I'll choose camping (evil squirrels or not) every time. Tent camping, to be specific. We learned very recently that we ARE NOT RV campers.

Posted by: Jessica at October 12, 2006 11:55 AM

For all you parents out there, Hallowe'en is around the corner, and yesterday I posted Witch Finger Cookies on my blog; as well as an ice cream cake recipe I did for our Canadian thanksgiving this past weekend.

Hope you are having a blast at Disney, Joshilyn!!

with loving kindness,

Bon Apetite'

Posted by: North at October 12, 2006 6:47 PM