September 17, 2006

Things I Find Amusing

Your mileage may very well vary.

1) Sam: Knock Knock.
Me: Who’s there?
Sam: Interrupting cow.
Me: Interrupting co---
Sam: Moo.

Ask my how many times I have heard this joke in the last four days? Go on. Ask me.

You: So, Joss, how many times have you heard that interrupting cow joke in the last four days?

2) Zefrank. The newly crowned links empress beejsnyder sent me Ze's way, and NOW I love Zefrank, especially….the show. I have my innocent little children bouncing around the house singing “SPORTS RACER! RACING SPORTS! WHAT IS YOUR POWER MOVE?” Even though Zefrank is decidedly NOT for children and my children are banned from being even in the HOUSE when I watch Ze. Which I do. Every second I can.

I secretly have a power move. I JUST KNOW I would totally get into the league of awesomeness if I could find the courage to unveil it. MY power move involves fists! And seal bark noises!

Next time I am in New York I feel sure I will run into Zefrank at a bar or local eatery. I am looking forward to it, and I have carefully scripted our conversation so he won’t ruin it by being an actual person. I will have to carry a sheet with me so he knows his lines. That’s not scary.

Me: HI ZE.
Ze: I know you?
Me: I’m YOU. You know YOU? The Universal second person you address on “the show?” I bet you never expected to run into YOU here.
Ze: I might be scared of you.
That last line wasn’t in his script. Stinking Ze, I JUST met him, and ALREADY he’s gone off book.

He was SUPPOSED to say, “How many times have you imagined having this conversation with me?” And I would say “Not as many times as I have heard the knock knock joke about THE INTERRUPTING COW.”


1. It is political, and any contact with politics, even TYPING the word political makes me have to sit in Chlorox and scrub at myself with a barbed wire loofah to get the filth off. And yet I like Ze to talk about politics. And airlines. And Duckies. Talk about whatever, Ze. We are all fine here.

2) He uses the very bad words. All of ‘em. So this your WARNING, POTENTIAL SPORTS RACERS. My website is PG 13. Ze is for grown-ups. You need to be THIS HIGH to ride that ride, where ‘this high” is defined as “old enough to have taken (or dropped out of) an ethics class.”

Ze on politics.
Ze on anti-intellectualism.
Ze on….crack?

3) If you ARE NOT “this high,” then consider this NEXT link to be the blue pill, and TAKE IT, Keannu,
especially if you want to see two guys with VERY HIGH mental illness numbers and way too much spare time playing with Mentos. Fresh and Full of Life is only the beginning…and YEAH I know half of you are already hip to the eepybird, but latecomers like me will preesh the link.

4) Maisy: Knock Knock:
Me: Who’s there.
Maisy: Intratupting cow.
Me: Intratupting cow who?
Maisy: Intratupting cow is at the door!

I have heard that one SEVERAL THOUSAND times now too. STILL! SO! FUNNY!

Kill. Me.

Posted by joshilyn at September 17, 2006 1:32 PM

I too adore Ze. He thinks so we don't have to, but tell me...have you ever watched and NOT thought afterward? The man is genuius. Completely addictingly genius.

(i have a power move too! it's awesome!)

Posted by: Amanda at September 17, 2006 5:43 PM

Moo!*ducking quickly to avoid the power move*

Posted by: David at September 17, 2006 10:54 PM

We've had one of those jokes that has been passed down through the years. Right now, the 5yo tells it...
Her: Mom, guess what!!
Me: What?
Her: Chicken Butt!!! hahahaha

It's just so silly, but I can't help but laugh. I can still remember the oldest (now 14) doing the same thing when she was 3. She taught it to #2 (now almost 12), he taught it to #3 (almost 11yo), she to #4 (9yo), he to #5 (6yo). She refused to pass it on, so the husband taught it to the baby. Yeah, he's such a sweetie, isn't he?

Posted by: dee at September 18, 2006 1:12 AM

Wow, those are some serious links! :) I got my funny for the day! Thanks!

Posted by: el-e-e at September 18, 2006 8:56 AM

I'm very pleased to de-lurk in order to offer you this! which ought to make your day (as it made mine when we were in the midst of the interrupting cow madness)! :D

- Knock knock.
- Who’s there?
- Interrupting starfish.
- Interrupting starfish w--
(Put big starfish-like fingers on person’s face)

Posted by: lizardek at September 18, 2006 12:25 PM

I may also be just a teensy bit in lust with Ze. Nothing is sexier than crazy, when the crazy is also sort of brilliant. Rawr.

Posted by: Mir at September 18, 2006 3:03 PM

I had never heard of Ze until now... where the heck have I been? He may not be on brain crack, but he is on something. ;O) Just kidding, he just nuts, and I like that.

Posted by: Mary at September 18, 2006 4:12 PM

so, Mir, would Ze be even hotter if he had diet coke guy's red socks? heehee
And, Joss, it's good to know you Won't. Be. Scared. the next time I come to your booksigning and I hand you a script. Although really, how can it get any better than me walking into the room and you caroling, "I know YOU!" (scratches head carefully to promote thought)

Posted by: Elena at September 18, 2006 10:05 PM

You could try this one on Sam:

Mermaid Girl: Knock, knock!
Me: Who's there?
MG: Polite Cow.
Me: Polite Cow wh-
MG: MOO! Tricked you! It's really Interrupting Cow!

Posted by: elswhere at September 19, 2006 12:17 AM

my youngest has inherited our family's knack for telling the punchline in the setup, or getting to the punchline OK but then just screwing it up. That's why I was so proud when she began reeling off this little ditty: "Knock knock. Who's there? Cows. Cows who? Cows going to the mooovies..." Cute the first 10 or 12 times...

Posted by: dramamama at September 19, 2006 7:56 AM

I'd never heard of Ze..thanks for bringing him to light...

All out of cow jokes today... maybe to-moo-row.


Posted by: North at September 19, 2006 11:37 PM

Okay, will everyone puhleeze stop milking the cow jokes? I've herd enough. Really. Moove on.

Posted by: Jenny at September 20, 2006 11:31 AM