September 11, 2006

Where the Oscar Will Go

After I worked out this morning, I went to find Maisy and help her pack three things that begin with the letter "a" into a carefully labeled lunch bag. The kid is FOUR, and already with the homework? OKAY THEN! I found her in her room sitting flat on her bottom, her feet out in front of her. Her nose was wrinkled, her mouth turned down and hanging open, and tears were standing out in her eyes.

Me: Oh honey, what's the matter!
Immediately her face snapped back to its usual cheerful expression.
Her: I'm not sad, Mommy. I'm practicing my feelings.

She showed me some more feelings she'd been practicing, willfully lighting her eyes up and releasing a perfect sunny-side-up smile to show "happy," contracting her whole face and making all her features seem smaller and closer together to show "mad," and then she widened her eyes and made her mouth be round and soft and small until she was palpably leaking sadness, OH! SUCH sadness. She made the face of one of those orphans or rained on kittens they painted on velvet in the 70's. Then she showed me mad again, the contraction of the face spiced up this time by a GROWL.
Her: "That face with a growl is WAGE, Mommy. WAGE is SUPER mad!"

My son, God love him, is quite a different creature. He's absolutely transparent. If he's sad or hurt you can SEE him visibly trying to squelch it, trying to be manly, but it leaks out in the set of his shoulders, in his held breath. I can read his every thought in his windowpane eyes. Sam can't shine ANYTHING on ---- he is literally the WORST liar in the history of the universe, which, speaking as his parent, I think is AWESOME.

This girl child is something else entirely. Spooky.

Posted by joshilyn at September 11, 2006 9:25 AM

Aww, that is soOoo sweet!! How many ways can our child brighten our life? There are so many ways, every single day!!


Posted by: North at September 11, 2006 9:39 AM

oh MY! this is deliciously dear and yes, i can certainly understand the spooky aspect! oh my oh my!

as it nearly always does, your post put a smile on my face.

Posted by: kristen at September 11, 2006 10:10 AM

Practicing my feelings. ROFL!

Posted by: Heather at September 11, 2006 10:40 AM

Maisy is SO cute and funny. But yes, I can see where her mommy would find that story very spooky as well as cute and funny. I have a feeling you're in for some interesting years with her, but just think how great you'll feel when she steps up on that stage in her beautiful dress and says "I'd like to thank my mother..."

Posted by: DebR at September 11, 2006 10:40 AM

Oh, honey you are so going to have your work cut out for you later. She's an actress to the bone.

Posted by: Cele at September 11, 2006 12:33 PM

That is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Kids are so great.

Posted by: Kat at September 11, 2006 12:54 PM

Ok, I can breath now. You have been missed. My world just tilted back properly on it's are blogging, and posting about M..and the MIN seems to be at a good place. Just know we have been thinking about you.

Posted by: Gabi at September 11, 2006 1:09 PM

Did you then sing a rousing round of the "ruined and killed, killed and ruined" song? What emotion would be right for that, I wonder? Despair. DIS-PAYUR!

Posted by: Mir at September 11, 2006 1:24 PM

First time to post here, though I read FTK regularly. I, too, have two (hehe) children who are opposites as you describe, but my boy is the one who is an expert liar (due to his acting skills, according to him), and my daughter is the one who could never lie to me, and stopped trying in about the fifth grade (she's 25 now, and the Liar Boy is 15). I say Liar Boy with much love, as he doesn't do it too much, but won't hesitate to use his skills to stay out of trubs.

Posted by: Gail at September 11, 2006 1:38 PM

Hilarious! Please tell me that "practicing feelings" wasn't part of the homework assignment. And what else does she practice?

Posted by: Peggy Payne at September 11, 2006 3:08 PM

My most innocent seventh grade girl child is also the most skilled at lying. (She is seriously naive and innocent...I have an opposite girl child to prove it.) One time she had a book report due, assuring us right up to the Sunday morning before the day it was due that she only had "a couple of chapters to read."

When the time came that afternoon to make her buckle down and finish "the last few chapters" and do the report (I never did projects earlier than the day before they were due, how can I force my children? Huh?), we discovered she had read exactly five of the fifty chapters in the book. FIVE!

She was up until midnight and I had NO sympathy for her oh, so innocent (and completely genuine!) crocodile tears the next morning.



She also has not once, but twice, lied to me for weeks about getting the tangles out of her long wavy hair. The first time we had to cut a huge hunk out after we gave up. The second time (a few weeks ago and we were in a hotel on vacation when I noticed suspiciously frizzy hair sticking out of her ponytail/bun) I made her and everyone else sit for two hours while I used half a bottle of conditioner getting it out and we missed half our day of sightseeing. Mama was not happy. THEN SHE HAD THE NERVE TO GIVE ME A HUG AND APOLOGIZE WHEN I WAS DONE. ;)

(I hugged her back, by the way. :) And now, I run my fingers through her hair whenever I hug her, too. Heh.)

Posted by: Julie at September 11, 2006 3:16 PM

This has nothing to do with your darling children, but I'm part of a "literary quotes" community and your first three sentences popped up today!

Here's a link Literary Quotes Live Journal

Posted by: Joy at September 11, 2006 8:06 PM

Hmmm...that doesn't seemed to have worked. Here it is again.

Posted by: Joy at September 11, 2006 8:06 PM

Get that girl in drama club. She'll be a star!

Posted by: Debra at September 11, 2006 8:07 PM

well, she is quite wise at age four, to practice her feelings--I know, they are taught emotion-handling at school(I'm a teacher assistant)and it's one way, to explain to kids, what emotions are, what emotions do that are good for you, and not good for you.

What a dolly!! Next time somebody catchs me crying, I"M going to tell them "I'm practicing my feelings!"


Posted by: North at September 11, 2006 11:21 PM

OK< so I am bummed totally!! I can't get your book!! we have NO bookstore, I am disabled, no car, never leave town(yawn)... I don't have paypal, dont want paypal...

how can I get your two books Joshilyn? Do you have any snail-way? A form w/money order for ordering?

I been waiting for months now, and I think our librarian is a big B--and I'm sending her over to see Maisy!! : )


Posted by: North at September 11, 2006 11:24 PM

North, if you place an order with, you can pay by credit card, debit card, straight-out bank account information, check or money order. Amazon is very friendly that way...

Posted by: Jen at September 12, 2006 8:09 AM

I agree--that girl is a born actress! Did you ask her what she thought about to make her "sad"? I would be curious to know... What an amazing kid! Reminds me of some of the conversations I have had with my two girls over the years....

Posted by: Sheri at September 12, 2006 6:50 PM

That really is amazing! I agree, get her in drama. For the most part, I can tell when my 6 year old is lying. It is only when he uses the same lie constantly that it gets harder to tell.


Me: Did you wash your hands with soap?
Him: Yes
Me (catching him in the lie): Let me smell them.
Him: Oh, I forgot

I hear that one ALL the time because I don't always check his hands to see if he used soap.

Posted by: Jo at September 13, 2006 9:29 AM

Jen, thanks for your response : )


Posted by: North at September 13, 2006 10:29 AM

What I have decided to do, being as I live on a disability income... is to leave it to Santa! : ) He tends to ignore my wish list; but, this year, I am going to write 10 times!(silly real giggling.)

Posted by: North at September 13, 2006 10:31 AM

Jo--I just about fell off my chair when I read your post!! eeek, and didnt I used to do the same with my son? lol He always forgot too(wink.) Another giggly is the toothbrushing at night.

"Did you brush your teeth?"
I'd go over and feel his toothbrush... dry as a bone!! Mind you, I never let him see me do that...(wink.) and he has spent his young 18 years so far, figuring out how I always "knew he didn't brush!!"

I'll tell him the secret though, when he has kids...

BTW--checked out that cookie recipe posted up top!! absolutely adorable little things!! going to make my son some when he comes home from college for Christmas.

I'm going to ask him one afternoon if he'd like hotdogs for lunch...and will serve him those.. lol


Posted by: North at September 13, 2006 11:17 PM

whoopsies, wrong thread(blush)about the PB balls!!

Posted by: North at September 13, 2006 11:18 PM

A recap, part 1 With Digital ID World in the books as a success, I always like to take a look back at "what I learned." As an organizer of the conference, Digital ID World is always a whirlwind experience for me, but I find that as I look back

Posted by: Johanson at September 20, 2006 12:51 AM

Well... Maisy may be an actress, but YOU SHOULD be planning where to put the Oscar because it will be YOURS for screen writing in the very near future. I'm serious. In fact, I blogged about it back in July. And if you aren't doing the screenplay, that's still cool... someone else will win for Best Adapted Screenplay. And it will be adapted from YOUR novel. Start practicing for the red carpet, baby!

Posted by: Deborah at September 20, 2006 9:53 PM