July 31, 2006

In Which the Rabbit Died. In Which I am the Rabbit.

That title makes NO sense. I am NOT pregnant. But I FEEL like the rabbit. I.E. Dead. O! Best Beloveds, but I have been sick. sicksicksicksick. Too sick to be expected to make sense in my titles, thank you. Came off tour and my immune system crashed like Ricky Bobby. Did I mention I've been sick?

Saturday activities included, and were pretty much limited to, taking in small amounts of juice and then giving that same juice back. I missed the Deaf-Blind Awareness Dinner---I am SO sorrowful over that one. On Sunday the most exciting that happened was I injested and then KEPT some juice. After I alerted the news media, I teetered off to church, tottered back home, and fell into my bed. Later, I rose up and feebly tapped out some e-mails, watched Law and Order re runs, played a litte World of Warcraft, then went out the back door and crept under my deck for a double secret kissing assignation with Marc Price, better known as The Guy Who Played Skippy Handleman on Family Ties. Okay, I made that last thing up. OR, if I did not, I at least hope for Skippy's sake I was no longer contagious.


Today I may attempt coffee and actual productive behavior. When I think of my TO DO list, all the things I let slide while on tour, my book deadline, the Driving Tour of Georgia... I want to go back to Stomach Flu land. There, I am not expected to do anything but attempt juice and then feel sorry I did. I comfort myself over the wasted days by noting how Saturday pretty much forced me to log all the "spend time praying for merciful sweet death to take me" that a To Do list like the one I am facing necessitates. SO! At least I can put a check by THAT.

I have SO MUCH to catch you up on I don't even know where to start, although in retrospect, I already DID start, and I cleverly chose to begin by recounting the gory yet dull details of a two day stomach flu and slandering a perfectly nice celebrity from the 80's. Hrm. Yeah. Remember, I'm a professional writer. Don't try this at home, because Skippy may have good lawwyers.

Tomorrow I think I am going to tell you how to make a 90 minute flight last 13 hours. THAT was a fun day...

I DO want to remind you that B and N is offering a "coarse" course on Between, with content supplied by my editor. I will be there too. SO. Come on with your bad selves.

I also want you to know that you can get Marc Price (and a BUNCH of other folks) to call your friends for $19.95. Getting him to meet you under your deck is probably considerably more expensive....

Posted by joshilyn at July 31, 2006 6:22 AM

Y'know I hate making phone calls, but I'd be more than willing to make a 30-second phone call for $19.95. If my pitiful math skills are correct (an admittedly big "if") that works out to just under $2400 an hour. Not bad! Too bad I'm not a current-or-former celebrity. But I will still state for the record that I am perfectly willing to call anyone and talk for 30 seconds for $19.95! Hell, I'll do it for $18.88. I take PayPal. :-D

I'm sorry you have the stomach lurgy, Joss. I hope you're feeling muchMUCH better today! And I hope you got to bring home the Good Bed.

Posted by: DebR at July 31, 2006 8:47 AM

Hmm... I'll call people for just $10. I am so cheap. ;)

Posted by: Heather at July 31, 2006 10:04 AM

Sorry you've been ill... look forward to being coarse with you next week! :D

D xx

Posted by: diane at July 31, 2006 10:23 AM

For a good time...

I guess we should ignor those penciled in messages on the bathroom walls then.

Looking forward to B&N U

Posted by: Cele at July 31, 2006 11:18 AM

So sorry that you've been icky-sick!

Posted by: Heather Cook at July 31, 2006 11:24 AM

Poor you. As soon as you feel better, eat chocolate, OK?

Posted by: Vegetarian Fashionista at July 31, 2006 1:25 PM

If it makes you feel any better my mom's had shingles for freakin' weeks now and we all cheer when she gets out of her jammies and has a good poo.

Yes, it could be worse.

But I bet you're still pretty.

Posted by: debra at July 31, 2006 4:27 PM

Hmm, now I'm glad I didn't manage to meet you while I was in Atlanta because you might have made me sick, and I so don't have time for that (like you do). Oh well, maybe someday in the future our schedules will manage to mesh.

Posted by: Shanna Swendson at July 31, 2006 11:26 PM

Oh dear. Sorry about the sickness. However (come on, like you haven't thought of this), you are now all tiny and waif-like, yes? Which is always pleasant.
Feel better. Feel the hip bones.

Posted by: Kira at August 1, 2006 11:47 AM

It's Mary Jane from dance class. I know I disappeared because the pregnancy ended up being twins and the dr said I had to quit doing so much. Anyway, dance class was one thing I gave up. I wanted to let you know I finally got Gods in Alabama and read it. So much nostalgia I cried although I attribute that mostly to twin pregnancy hormones. Thanks for taking me back home and making it interesting. Mayhap our paths will cross again.

Posted by: Mary Jane at August 1, 2006 5:14 PM

Poor Joss! We did that thing here, too. BTW, juice and water probably not good. My doc recommended dry toast, followed by sips of dark beer. My person addition was a pepcid tab twice a day. Lots of acid going on and one of the causes of the problems.

At least it waited until you got home. (((HUGS)))

Posted by: ZaZa at August 3, 2006 3:05 PM