July 27, 2006

Home TODAY....or not.

The tour is officially over, and I am sad and happy, and by the way NOT going home. My family is in FLORIDA right now anyway, frolicking on the single grain of white beach sand the hurricanes graciously left for them. They won't return until Sunday. That's okay, because I have to stay here and live forever at the Ritz Carlton in St. Louis.

See, here at the Ritz Carlton, they went and got a bunch of peeping adorable kittens and then they EVER SO GENTLY combed their belly fur to extract only the softest wisps of angel-fluff, and then they used this magic material to make the bed. I haven't slept the way I slept here since I left home. I slept HUGELY. I slept with passionate mad abandon.

I slept HARD and DEEP and TRUE on Tuesday night, went and did TV and stocking signings and then, in the break before the Library event, I got RIGHT back in that bed and slept even harder with even more deep truth. As soon as the event was over I went BACK to new best friend, Kitten Fluff Bedding, and passed out again. I was SO tired I could NOT manage to drag my body from its sluglike repose in the 1 million thread count arms of the perfect bed, BUT I was starving, and all I had to do was pick up the phone and then a nice lady came to bring me an ENORMOUS cheeseburger. I ate it off the bedside table, hanging my head over the floor to not DEFILE the mattress of paradise with crumbs, and then passed out again.

ALSO? They have DUCKS that live in the turn around. Two young dewy-eyed newlywed ducks showed up one day in spring, and all the doormen adopted them. Then the original pair made MORE ducks, and the doormen adopted the ducklings, too. Now the whole little family has an apartment in the front bushes here and are estatic even though they have no place to swim but the fountain. They have given up all hopes of a lake or pond to stay at the Ritz, and I WANT TO BE THOSE DUCKS.

Seriously. Not. Leaving.

Posted by joshilyn at July 27, 2006 8:10 AM

Gosh, I want to be those ducks too.... even if for but, a day.

Posted by: North at July 27, 2006 8:13 AM

I wouldn't leave either. Good luck on getting your husband to let you stay though - when I told mine I wasn't leaving the bed and breakfast we stayed in last month he packed me up and put me in the car anyway. The bed there was heavenly too.

Posted by: Jessie at July 27, 2006 8:28 AM

Any idea what kind of mattress it is??? LOL.

Is there any way we could do a covert operation and steal it???? (Humming mission impossible to myself).....Glad you are getting good rest...Am still holding toffee cookies hostage....(grins)...enjoy room service.

Posted by: Gabi at July 27, 2006 9:03 AM

What you need is to get Scott to come and JOIN you, then never leave. Except then you'd miss your babies! I know you're happy to be almost back to them, kitteny mattress notwithstanding. :)

Posted by: Amy-Go at July 27, 2006 9:09 AM

You could try waddling and quacking, they might adopt you also. The problem would be how to hide the mattress in the bushes.

Posted by: Cele at July 27, 2006 11:31 AM

I think the RC manager should let you just keep the bed and ship it to your house. If he doesn't, he's just mean.

Posted by: DebR at July 27, 2006 11:31 AM

It sounds like you're catching up on much-needed rest. I tried Googling for kitten fluff mattresses but, no luck. You're going to have to ask.

Lucky ducks.

Posted by: ZaZa at July 27, 2006 3:28 PM

I'm not sure I approve of kitten fluff mattresses.
I AM a cat.

Posted by: Miss China Paws at July 27, 2006 4:22 PM

Joss, you are hereby requested to photograph said mattress tag and post it for the benefit of us poor schlobs who have no Kitten Fur Bedding.

And Miss China Paws, surely, as a kitten, you yourself curled/nestled/wriggled your way into a warm pile kitten-furred siblings. Yes? *grins*

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Posted by: Brad at July 27, 2006 5:38 PM

First you kill off fictional pooches, now you are extolling the virtues of kitten mattresses... I'd be a smidge fearful if I was one of those ducks!!!!

Have you slept in a Westin bed? Theirs are my favorite. Sigh.

Posted by: Laura at July 27, 2006 5:51 PM

Ah.... you are in the land of my childhood.

I too have slept that sleep while on Spring Vacation in DC this year and I had the same kitten soft feather beds and pillows.

We came home and promptly bought the same feather bed and pillows.


Posted by: Lisa at July 27, 2006 6:06 PM

I knew I should have hidden in your luggage Monday night. Next year, can I go on tour too?

Posted by: Heather at July 27, 2006 7:48 PM

Bed - Sealy Posture Pedic
Feather Bed, Down Comorter & Down Pillows - Pacific Coast Feather
Linens - Fili Casa 400 thread count Egyptian cotten sateen.

Posted by: Mr. Husband at July 27, 2006 10:31 PM

I don't remember if you mentioned this or not, but Between was selected by Marie Claire magazine in its August issue as one of their "10 Best to Do" on page 61!

They called it a page-turner ;-)

Posted by: Beth at July 28, 2006 9:53 AM

Dang! Mr. Husband is ON THE BALL!

Posted by: David at July 28, 2006 10:21 AM

I just wanted you to know that Between almost KILLED me. I almost drowned in my tears. Soooooooooooooo good! I lurve you. :) Had such a great time Monday!

Posted by: Tiff at July 28, 2006 9:10 PM

Since you spoke at the MM House, I've finished reading both Gods and Between. Lovely lovely lovely books. And the Violence Against Dogs was perfectly understandable in context. It was the Violence Against Chicken in Gods that made my friend start to wonder. ::grin:: Enjoy the Ritz.

Posted by: Shannan at July 29, 2006 7:43 AM