July 17, 2006

More Tour, Please, Hold the Nervous Prostration

Or maybe just put it on the side.

IMPORTANT TO NOTE: Cocktails and nibblies at Margaret Michell House begin at SIX, so COME AT SIX. If you show up at seven, all the GOOD food will be gone and you will have to gnaw at a dry twig of crudite and drink the wine dregs. COME AT SIX. SEE I have it as SEVEN and have TOLD everyone seven. SEE HOW I AM DOING? Well, that's the initial info I got, and I didn't NOTICE the info changed. Par for my course.

IMPORTANT TO NOTE ALSO: B4B Closes tonight. If you want to win HOT FRESH BETWEEN, GEORGIA RELATED LOOTS, click here and enter!

I HAVE A LOT TO TELL YOU but I have a very full schedule today, so I SWEAR will tell you the MOST humiliating moment so far TOMORROW, and let me say, that will be a hard bloom to choose among the plethora of personal faux pas posies and rosy stupidities I have engaged in...I feel like a drunk tyrannodon let into the pansy bed, stomping down everything that should be small and easy and sweet and blooming. It's just little TINY THINGS, but when you mess up 100 little tiny things in one day, it doesn't leave a lot of things to get right.

For example, I spent one full jampacked day wearing GORGEOUS attention grabbing shoes, ACUTELY aware that I had forgotten to shave my RIGHT LEG and that the shoes were pulling everyone's eyes DIRECTLY DOWN THERE. I spent the bulk of my conscious mind devising postures and ways to stand and sit that hid the stubbley offender behind its baby-smooth blameless twin. Not that big a deal, unless it's thing 89 of 97 that I did wrong. And oh gentlest of readers, I assure you, I ASSURE YOU that it WAS number 87.

THAT ALL SAID, I DO feel like the events and interviews are going VERY WELL indeed. I've been touched both by the PRETTY INTERNETS and PEEPS who have showed up AND by the sheer numbers of people wholly unconected to me who came out because they read gods, liked it, and now want a signed BETWEEN. That's just----the best feeling. BUT the second the event is over I tumble right back down into doing dumb crap that screws up all the behind the scenes stuff. I have taken over the very body of Mr. Murphy and am PERSONALLY making sure his law is enforced.

If it CAN go wrong, I will, it seems, insure that it does, and THEN I get to the events and interviews and it REALLY seems to go well, while off stage, if you will, I am lighting things and people on fire.

I will pick the very worst thing I have done and tell you tomorrow. Pinky Swearsies, unless I screw THAT plan up too.

Posted by joshilyn at July 17, 2006 10:23 AM

I have done the leg thing. I have. Cannot wait until Monday night.

Posted by: Heather at July 17, 2006 10:50 AM

Joss when ever you share it's a joy, but your faux paus are to be cherished.

My near vision has so disintegrate that one day I put my reading glasses on and discovered a forest growing on my legs. oh shivers.

Posted by: Cele at July 17, 2006 11:31 AM

If you signed a book for A.B. to mail to me then nothing else you've done can possibly be that bad. Right?? :-)

Posted by: DebR at July 17, 2006 12:26 PM

At times like the one you described, I have to remember what my mama told me. People are too worried about THEMSELVES to notice what you are worrying about. For instance, people at your last signing were probably busy thinking about the coffee they'd spilled on themselves or their acne or how they accidently put on two clashing patterns before they rushed out to see you and oh, what the glamorous author behind the table must be thinking about their slobbiness. Since you were worrying about your leg, you didn't notice any of that, did you? ; )

See you Charlotte!

Posted by: Elizabeth at July 17, 2006 12:38 PM

Or they're worrying about how to look casual BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE IS THERE, INCLUDING THE PPL SIGNING THE COMICS.
Just saying.

Posted by: IrishGal at July 17, 2006 1:44 PM

Yeah, totally What Elizabeth and IrishGal said. They are NOT noticuing your very tiny, small, little blunders. Nobody will notice, really. And I promise to keep my mouth shut in Charlotte (I CAN"T BELIEVE THAT IN TWO FREAKIN DAYS THAT I GET TO MEET YOU!!!), if you promise not to tell the whole FTK world what a total and complete tongue-tied, incohrent geek I am when I meet you, ok? You just pretend that I'm a normal person, not all freaked out from meeting you, and I'll whisper really nice things to people all over the bookstore about how witty and smart and totally pretty you are. Deal?
Then, when I get back home (very VERY late tomorrow night), I get to try to reserve a spot on the cruise. I just told him that it was so important that I go, and he said "Well, why don't you wait until after you meet her, and make sure that you still like her, and then we'll see, ok?" So I figure that there's like NO WAY that I won't like you in person (Unless you forget to shave again or something. J/K, sheesh!!), so I can go ahead and plan on making those reservations. See, it's all good.
And you are doing fabulous and making lots of people happy.
No worries!!

Posted by: dee at July 17, 2006 5:12 PM

I knew I should have driven to Atlanta today. Crudite and Between?

I've totally forgotten to shave one leg--have you been crossing the smooth one on top of the stubbly all day? Maybe the shoes are amazing enough that one-leg stubble won't even be noticed.

Posted by: Edgy Mama at July 17, 2006 5:14 PM

Ahhhh.....tragedy averted.

Good thing I read your blog on a daily basis or I would have missed the yummy nibbles and wine and I would have been sad, so sad. Then I would have walked across the street to "Grape"... commandeered some bottles of wine all "Johnny Depp" like, or maybe it was Keira Knightley who REALLY did the commandeering in the first installment?

But never mind...it would definitely be wine, not rum because after all it IS a book signing and that is definitely more highbrow than rolling about in the sand with Captain Jack Sparrow.

Eh hem

Can you tell I am looking forward to it???

Posted by: Lisa at July 17, 2006 5:21 PM

Hello there!!

I stumbled onto this blog my accident, and looks like it was pre-destined!!

I will have to definately run out and find your books to read! : )

Currently, I'm designing a book-cover for Patzi Raven's 5th book. Check out my blog if you like, and here is my msn group site, where I put some of my designs(play designs) in albums.


Looking forward to reading your books!!


Posted by: North at July 17, 2006 5:27 PM

Peach, you're an artist. You can get away with amazing things because everyone knows you're a creative sort, and they'd be vaguely disappointed if you weren't doing wonderfully eccentric things. Even if you don't, most people will assume that you do anyway.

That having been said, I can honestly say I've been at hundreds of author signings, and unless you burned the bookstore down, you're fine. I'm not saying you should DO eccentric things, but I suspect even murdering someone would almost pass as okay because, after all, you're a celebrity! However, while it IS publicity to kill someone, I'd recommend against it. Just sayin'...

So keep smiling, keep being your truly genuinely lovely self and all things will be okay. I promise!

Posted by: Fran at July 17, 2006 5:31 PM

I'll be there at 6, but I just noticed an ad in the AJC today for your appearance and it lists the start time as 7PM also...ooops!

Posted by: Lisa at July 19, 2006 1:02 PM