March 24, 2006

A Conversation with Scott

Last night, late, when Scott and I had turned off all the lights downstairs and headed up to our room, I paused between the doorways to my children's bedrooms and listened to them breathe. I had one of my rare moments when I realize I do have a little piece of soul tucked way down deep under all the glib I throw around.

Me: *tearing up a little* Isn't it amazing? We did that. You and me. We made little people. Out of US. And now here they are, their own little separate selves.
Him: Yeah. (Subtext: I am bored of this conversation already and it just started. PS, are you back on that bad, bad cocaine?)
Me: But we MADE them. Out of GAMETES. Out of essentially NOTHING. You and I made PEOPLE out of biological EFFLUVIUM. How can you not see that this is a miracle?
Him: Cats can do the same thing, honey.
Me: *glare*
Him: Don't ge me wrong. I'm nuts about our kids, and I am strongly in favor of the process for making them. But I'm not going to get choked up over Biology 101.
Me: But the Hoover Dam, that brings a tear to your jaundiced eye???
Him: Show me a cat who can make the Hoover Dam.
Me: But the planet MARS, that makes your heart go pitterypatpat?
Him: Nah, Mars is just a planet. *perks up* But one day people will GO to Mars! Now THAT will be COOL.
Me: You know, they don't call it THE TRUCK OF LIFE. Like some dirty old truck comes and drops off a pile of babies and you grab the best, fattest one. They call it The MIRACLE of Life.
Him: Well, they don't call it the Hoover Meh. They call it the Hoover....Damn!

And he said Damn like Will Smith always does, you know, with the drawn out A, like he'd just seen something astounding.

Me: SO! THIS is what happens when you let Discovery Channel Geeks Breed, huh?
Him: Pretty much.
Me: Cool.

Posted by joshilyn at March 24, 2006 8:18 AM

ROFL You two are a scream! And Scott is the sharpest foil I've ever heard. Btw, I'm off to spend the weekend at AggieCon. Writers and gamers and geeks, oh my! See what you miss by not coming to Texas? *hint, hint*

Posted by: David at March 24, 2006 8:30 AM

I heart Scott. The Hoover... DAY-UM! Bwahahahahaha.

Posted by: Mir at March 24, 2006 9:06 AM

Sounds much like last week's conversation with my husband. Our daughter just turned 11 and I often wonder how we got her this far.

Me: Don't you look at her and wonder how she could possibly be part of us?

Him: No.

Must be a glitch in the DNA somewhere.

Posted by: Danielle at March 24, 2006 9:09 AM

Heh. Sometimes, when I'm feeling a bit insecure, career-wise, I like to take my 5'10", blond, blue-eyed sixteen-year-old baby girl, shove her in front of company, and say "I MADE THIS!! What have YOU done lately?"

Posted by: Shelley at March 24, 2006 9:42 AM

Too funny. Men just don't get it sometimes. My husband will get completely excited over a car, but show him a baby, and he's like "eh, what ever".

Posted by: Jessie at March 24, 2006 9:54 AM

People going to Mars is way cool.

Posted by: Edgy Mama at March 24, 2006 10:46 AM

What was that a few weeks ago, somewhere in blogdom... show a man and woman a neat garage and she will see everything in its place and he will see all the neat tools. It's the balance of nature. Day-am. I want to be witty. Do they have a class for that somewhere?

Posted by: Cele at March 24, 2006 11:56 AM

I'm sitting here giggling that now you will be getting even MORE blog traffic from people who are searching Google in vain for information about Hoover Dam. :-)

Posted by: DebR at March 24, 2006 12:27 PM

Tell Scott a trip to the Canton Day-Um (which I call the Evil Day-Um, or simply, "Chuck's mistress") is in the works. I'll bring the flask.

Posted by: Karen Abbott at March 24, 2006 12:48 PM

Damn, that crushes my stork theory.

Posted by: Martha O'Connor at March 24, 2006 5:11 PM

I am sputtering over here, sputtering! I totally foresee having such a conversation with my own geeky (precious! handsome!) husband over the wonders of our mythological children. Please, just tell me my future doesn't hold soccer stickers on my car, too??

Posted by: samantha at March 24, 2006 5:29 PM

You guys give me hope!

Now if only I could get the cable hooked up again...

Posted by: Cornelia Read at March 24, 2006 6:48 PM

Your Scott and Yarn Harlot's big ol' Newfoundlander Joe are my two favorite fictional characters.

Posted by: rams at March 25, 2006 9:33 PM

Day-um, y'all crack me up. :)

Posted by: Amy-GO at March 27, 2006 3:07 PM