March 17, 2006

She Who Has Eaten of the Naughty Meats

At home, I try valiently to not eat the delicious (yet SAD! SO sad!) little Veals, But alas, once I am in NYC, a sort of "What's eaten in New York stays eaten in New York" attitude takes over, and I eat pretty, soulful, doe-eyed things that normally I might pass up. Not just the little veals...I ate all the darling-est and most oppressed animals here, smacking my lips with sorrowful relish.

IT IS THE MOST WRONG TO EAT THE LITTLE VEALS. And though not near as WRONG, it is equally sad to eat the adorable small quails, but impossible NOT to, once some cruel Frenchman has ALREADY gone and stuffed them with risotto and nestled them into a bed of tender spinach and porcini mushroom sauce. And what sort of soulless and rapacious ogre-gourmand could eat Bunny Caccitore, even if it WAS served with the most succulent and creamy polenta in the Universe? Oh, right. Me. And MAN, I feel TERRIBLE... but Thumper was delicious. I would do it again, had I the menu and the leisure to travel back in time and order over.

My editor kept ordering me desserts, too ---ordered them after I had made the SUPERHUMAN attempt to leave the dessert menu closed and say no thank you. It is one of her best qualities, I think---spontaneous dessert ordering. WINNER: Circo's Vanilla tartlet thing shaped like a small defenceless turtle, its back armored in roasted pignoli. If it HAD been a small defenceless turtle, I have NO doubt but that I would have popped the whole thing raw and living into my gob-hole. It's been that kind of week.

Wednesday, we scheduled a trip to the Musum of American Folk Art, which you should do, too, especially if you like textile art (AKA quilts) or if, say, your next book features a "textile artist" (AKA Quilter) and you need to be able to do enough research to legitimately call the day tax deductable before trit trotting off to see Spamalot, which was HILARIOUS and FANTASTIC and since the tickets cost 400 freaking dollars I am sure that play will also somehow be extremely important to my work. *cough* HA HA INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE! DID YOU SEE THAT FUNNY JOKE??? Please don't audit me. I promise to not even attempt to deduct my play tickets.

Back to the show...My favorite character was PATSY, played by "some guy with perfect comic timing" and that show still has a high-wattage star factor, in spite of the fact that my much-adored Tim Curry has stepped down. It was COOL to see David Hyde Pierce being hysterically dead pan up close and I was thrilled to see Hank Azaria. I have long been a Hank Azaria fan, so that was kinda special, and I am pleased to report that EVEN THOUGH Mr. Azaria has large soulful and beautiful brown eyes, I did not poach and eat him.

Thursday I had an interiew thing--I have to tell you about Thursday tomorrow, I did soemthing SO PRETENTIOUS I practically had to kill myself after....RIght now though I need to close and go meet Lani for coffee... You know Lani -- another Warner author SORRY no linky I am on the laptop and it being poo-ey. ALSO?? V key is still sticking. GRRRR.

Today I have lunch with my agent (where I will no doubt consume fillet of endangered komodo dragon) and then we head home.

See you back in Georgia, and I am SO THRILLED with all the B4B action. Oh pretty internets, you have SO come through.

Posted by joshilyn at March 17, 2006 7:16 AM

I had veal once, years ago. It is to this day the only thing I have felt guilty about eating. But, oh my Lord it was good. I can never do it again, of course, but I'll always have my memories. I vow to only eat grown up animals from now on!

Posted by: Contrary at March 17, 2006 7:44 AM

Naughty meats and Hank Azaria? Heaven on earth, girlfriend. Now I'm hungry.

Posted by: Edgy Mama at March 17, 2006 7:45 AM

BTW, when I first saw your title I thought I'd accidentally clicked on a porn site.

Posted by: Edgy Mama at March 17, 2006 7:45 AM

Hey Joss, with that last "see you back in georgia" you made the rest of the blog that follows all underline. I believe you left out the end part of the HTML :)


Posted by: tina at March 17, 2006 8:11 AM

The extraneous code that made everything underliney has been dispatched.

I dressed it up in a small woodland creature outfit and someone came along and ate it.

True story.

Posted by: Mr. Husband at March 17, 2006 8:28 AM

Spamalot was BY FAR my favorite Broadway show ever! Where else will you find the song "You Won't Succeed on Broadway (If You Don't Have any Jews)"

There's a very small percentile,
Who enjoys a dancing gentile,
I'm sad to be the one with this bad news!
But never mind your swordplay,
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
If you don't have any Jews!

The entire number ends with a 15 foot Flashing Neon Star of David descending from the ceiling.

I don't think I laughed so hard in my entire life.

Posted by: Matt at March 17, 2006 9:40 AM

"..and I am pleased to report that EVEN THOUGH Mr. Azaria has large soulful and beautiful brown eyes, I did not poach and eat him."

Oh how I love the sensation of guffaw-snorted orange juice in the mornings! Thanks for the OJ, JJ!

Posted by: Renee Dodd at March 17, 2006 9:56 AM

I am going to run out and consume a chipmunk, in your honor.

And, hey! Mr. Husband is WAY WAY FUNNY!!!!

Posted by: Cornelia Read at March 17, 2006 11:06 AM

400 bucks ohmigosh, I wanted to see Spamalot well a lot. But not that much. So I will gladly live it vicariously through Joss and pray to the IRS gods to turn a blind eye.

More dessert please.

Posted by: Cele at March 17, 2006 11:51 AM

pah, I don't feel guilty about eating veal. they live for like six months, without moving, just being fed yummy foods constantly. lucky chimichangas, I say! would that I were a veal, living that short, sweet life, only to be devoured by the pretty people of the world.
besides, if God didn't want veal and quail to be roasted and eaten, He wouldn't have made them so slow and easy to catch, aye?

Posted by: Janet at March 17, 2006 12:02 PM

I just spent the past two days in Cincinnati celebrating my birthday and I ate bits of a dead baby cow too. And I felt reallyReally bad about it, truly I did. But I looked around guiltily, ordered it anyway, took a bite, sighed in extreme pleasure, and said "omigawd, that's a FABULOUS dead baby cow" (seriously, I DID say that...I have a witness) and I proceeded to eat the entire plateful.

Now I'm home again and I promise to go back to being good toward baby animals. For a year. Heh.

Posted by: DebR at March 17, 2006 3:17 PM

p.s. Don't forget to sneak in a little foie gras.

Posted by: Cornelia Read at March 17, 2006 8:33 PM

Mr. Husband made me snort. If I snorted when I laugh really hard. Which I don't. True story.

Posted by: Contrary at March 17, 2006 9:31 PM

I am adding one more thing to my List of Things To Do Before I Die: Go to NYC with Joshilyn. :)

Posted by: amy-go at March 17, 2006 10:11 PM

Bon!!You are so ro-co-co. Eating the endangered engenders a sense of grandeur. Mon 'seur. There is a domination that the nation's population judges with damnation. Of course they should dine on the spine of a rare feline. Then they would no longer eshue (sp?)the menu or poo-poo the roasted le-mure.

I long for a long-coursed, exotically-sourced fete with aged cellared wines and honey dipped clementines. Oh, to be in New York!

Posted by: Waylon at March 19, 2006 10:42 AM

I love Spamalot! My husband and I saw it in Chicago for our honeymoon when it first opened there. Glad to hear you enjoyed it too.

Posted by: Jessie at March 20, 2006 9:42 AM