February 27, 2006

In Which I am OLD. Dernit.

Today is my birthday. Yarg. Whose idea was THAT?

I am ignoring it. My thirties are grinding inexorably away, and I am not interested. I have a friend who says I am not old, but she is cheerful, and perky, and only 33, so she needs to shut up.

Me, Morosely: I am getting perilously close to 40. Scott is now ONE YEAR from 40, and I am only 1 or 2 years behind him, depending on how you count.
Cheerful Perky Friend: Isn't his birthday two days before yours?
Me: I SAID it depends on how you count. One or two years older, give or take 363 days...
Cheerful Perky Friend: You know, they say that what with all the strides in nutrition and health and whatnot, 40 is like the new 30.
Me: What's the new 25? I want to be THAT.
Cheerful Perky Friend: I betcha 41 is the new 25! Look what you have to look FORWARD to!
Me: BLAH! Maybe with a big heaping helping of Plastic Surgery and a personal trainer 41 is the new 25....What's 42?
Cheerful Perky Friend: Oh, never you mind. Someone will have drowned you for sulking LONG before you hit 42!

I am not celebrating today. I am POUTING. I LIKED 37. It was a GREAT year and I feel I deserve ONE day to mourn it---Try not to drown me.

I WILL celebrate though, I promise, once I get over myself. Which could happen ANY SECOND (Provided I stop reading that Anne Rivers Siddons blurb aloud at bedtime and then hugging myself).

Later in the week I am slated to go eat WAY too much really good Cajun food (this place has crabcakes as BIG AS MY HEAD!) and have one too many pink drinks with my writing group. Some other friends are taking me out on Friday, and I will finish up on March 10th when I go with Karen to drool like a pervert over---no wait. Allow me to rephrase. I mean, when I go to gaze bedazzled while committing at least one and maybe two of the seven deadly sins---no wait. Let me rephrase again. While I go to sit decorously and feel intellectually stimulated by the fine acting of Mr. J. Depp in The Libertine.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE COMMERCIALS???? All HOLLOW EYED he looks, with pounds of hair, telling me in a snide accent that I am NOT going to like him. Oh, Johnny. As if.

ALSO! My parents and mother-in-law gave me checks, and I am going to blow ALL MY BIRTHDAY moo on extravagant LAMPS for my redone OFFICE which, with the exception of having my grandmother's creaky brass table lamp squatting like a homeless dog in the middle of my floor (as the ONLY light source, might I add, unless you count the SUN) has been completely redecorated to revolve around and highlight my RENE VAN DEN NESTE painting SPACE CAT GOES AIR BOATING IN THE WASTELANDS that NO ONE BUT ME AND SCOTT cares for. As opposed to the Rene Van Den Neste Chick in a Ginormous Blue Hat (holding bonus iconical SPACE CAT TWIN!) painting that everyone likes.

Blue Hat Chick is currently gussying up my Schubert-stromped, toy strewn, public living room. I was going to do the office around Blue Hat Chick, but I decided I don't want to have to explain my love for SPACE CAT to anyone who comes in my living room. In my office, I can love Space Cat all unmolested and with my taste unchallenged. Also, say what you want, but putting Space Cat in my office makes him TAX DEDUCTABLE. And he cost more than BHC. Go, Space Cat, go!

Posted by joshilyn at February 27, 2006 11:52 AM

Happy birthday precious one!
Gene's birthday is in Feb, alas he is still only 30 while I will turn 37 this year. You don't look your age, and would you really rather be younger? Have you seen "younger" lately? It is reprehensible.
Celebrate you, and all the fineness you are.
We all love you. (Even Space Cat)

Posted by: Tina at February 27, 2006 12:20 PM

Happy birth... day... mister pres-i-dent....

Cannot WAIT for crabcakes and pink drinks! Not to mention Mr. Depp.

Posted by: Karen Abbott at February 27, 2006 12:35 PM

Oh, all you whippersnappers and your fear of 40. 41 is the new 19 - I am living proof.

Posted by: laura at February 27, 2006 1:40 PM

Happy Birthday, Peach, and you can positively revel in the fact that you are SO much younger than I am that you are positively child-like!

And I won't tell you that I've enjoyed my 40's lots more than my 30's because A)you absolutely wouldn't believe me, even though it's completely true, and B) you're entitled to be pouty all you want!

But lift a glass of something decadent from me to you with best birthday wishes!

Posted by: Fran at February 27, 2006 1:48 PM

Wow. I was surprised by the fact that I LIKED the Space Cat painting. I don't like the blue hat one though :(

Happy Birthday!

Posted by: Gina Ritter at February 27, 2006 2:28 PM

Happy birthday, whippersnapper! I am about to turn 43, compared to which you are a veritable newt-pole of precocity and radiant SEVENTEEN-cover-model dewy splendor... so, hey, gloat a little and have a magnificent day as I collapse into senescence, here...

Posted by: Cornelia Read at February 27, 2006 2:44 PM

Happy Birthday Joss!

My daughter cried the other day through me singing Happy Birthday to her over the phone - she turned 30. Two days later I reveled in turning 50. I will tell you a story...

quit rolling your eyes.

My mother always told me (boy wasn't she right) "You go over the hill at 18 and you come back when you're 30. 19 to 30 had it's ups and boy did it have its downs. On my 30th birthday (in beauty college with a bunch of tweeners) I found my first grey hair and was still joyous. Why, because I knew my mother was right. So that night when she called and wished me a happy birthday, I told her how joyous I was on this day and she asked why? So I reminded her - and she retorted - But honey, life doesn't start until 40. But, damn wasn't she right.

Joss you worked damn hard for each one of those years, cherish them. You wouldn't be who you are if not for them.

Happy Birthday, from one of the Older ones on the Block.

Posted by: Cele at February 27, 2006 4:40 PM

Chick with Ginormous Blue Hat - is that really a hat or is she wearing one of those fake loofah body scrubbies on her head? I like Space Cat.

And Happy Birthday, you baby you. I fairly recently turned 49. That's one year away from half a century, mind you. I was still a young'un at 38, in retrospect. ENJOY!

Posted by: Laume at February 27, 2006 4:54 PM

Ah, to be 30-something again. *wistful, 40-something sigh* Happy Birthday, young'un(s)!

Posted by: David at February 27, 2006 7:37 PM

I love the space cat, but not the hat lady. Then again, the picture over my piano is a gargoyle chasing bubbles: http://tinyurl.com/efv9r

Posted by: Laura L at February 27, 2006 9:46 PM

Another affiliate of the over 40 crowd chiming in to say enjoy your dewy youth, but this age is fantastic too! Maybe it's because we're getting close to the age of wearing mismatched clothes and not caring? ... (hrmmm, maybe that feeling is just the freedom that comes from drinking more!) ... but really you have a lot to look forward! Review better stated comments by Laume, Cele, and Cornielia!

Happy Birthday, receiver of fabled blurps from ARS!

Posted by: Mit_Moi at February 27, 2006 10:38 PM

I'm another one to chime in with the "over 40 and lovin' it" crowd. If you knew how much fun your 40s would be, you'd be trying to hurry through the next couple of years, you radiant young thing!

But that said, it's YOUR birthday and you are totally entitled to a pout, whine, temper tantrum, or nice healthy bout of denial if that's what you want! :-) I have (so far) only had two birthdays that hit me hard and really bothered me for a little while, for whatever reason. One of those was 25 (I know, how sad is THAT!) and the other was **38**! So...seems perfectly logical to me.

Let me know when you're ready to celebrate and I'll send enthusiastic and sincere joyful birthday wishes!

Oh, and also...I'm another one who likes the cat painting better than the hat painting.

Posted by: DebR at February 27, 2006 11:24 PM

Happy Happy Birthday!

Posted by: Mary Jo at February 27, 2006 11:35 PM

Happy Birthday Joss!

Posted by: Whitney at February 28, 2006 5:30 AM

I do like space cat. Truely I do, but for those that didn't take to blue hat lady, I have to say this:

At first I didn't like blue hat lady much either. We were looking at two paintings and I was staunchly for the non-blue hat painting. Joshilyn had to run back to her room and while I waited I sat down and looked at BHL for a long while. I was struck by the power of the planes that are established in this work. The flat plane of the painting, the plane as BHL looks directly out at you, the plane of the cats gaze at the bird and the plane of the birds gaze at the little tree. Once I saw the composition of the painting in that depth and dimension the composition was perfect and when Joshilyn got back I told her we had to buy it.

At a glance, BHL isn't as catching as Space Cat, but after looking at it for a while I might actually like that one better. It's a tough call. I love them both for different reasons, but they are both fabulous.

Posted by: Mr. Husband at February 28, 2006 9:01 AM

Happy birthday! And thanks for giving me another reason to drink wine (to toast you, of course:)

Posted by: Chris at February 28, 2006 9:24 AM

Happy Birthday Joss!
I am approaching the 40 mark and I am ok with it....I have to be, since I have a husband who thinks that by celebrating is "18th" birthday, instead of the actual 36 that he has really turned back time...LOL!

BTW I love the Space Cat, but not so much the Blue Hat Lady

Posted by: kim at February 28, 2006 9:49 AM

I hope the scallops were divine, Tulip. Also it was lovely to hear your voice, and for your birthday (instead of pears) I've decided to gift you with a certificate good for one Pummelling Of The School Official Of Your Choice. Just let me know when you'd like to redeem it. ;)

Posted by: Mir at February 28, 2006 9:54 AM

Oh...happy belated birthday! Sorry I'm late, and I hope you had a great day.

Posted by: Aimee at February 28, 2006 10:34 AM

Happy Birthday a day late, girl. Not sure where I was yesterday.

Positive things that happen as you get older: it takes less alcohol to make you drunk (it also takes longer to recover, but let's ignore that, kay?); you get to say whatever you want to whomever you want, because you now have acheived elder Southern woman status (cause, unfortunately, you're pretty much an elder in the South at 35. I'm sure there are more positives, but I'm partially braindead because I've only had one cup of coffee, and I NEED my drugs.

Posted by: Edgy Mama at February 28, 2006 11:17 AM

A day late: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Posted by: AGK at February 28, 2006 1:43 PM

HEY! Happy late birthday! Missed you last night at the airport...what were you, celebrating with your family, or something? Pshaw. ANYway, Julie's got a card for you from moi. And I thought we agreed you're going to stay 37. Which I need you to stick to, since it means I can stay...oh, never you mind. ;)

Posted by: Amy-GO at February 28, 2006 2:58 PM