February 20, 2006


Okay, you know how your life is really busy, and there are never enough hours in the day and you feel like you are tilted forward and you have to keep RUNNING so as not to tump over and smash your face in and look like a Persian cat for the rest of your life? NO? Then come back tomorrow, because you are probably organized, and I probably hate you today.

If you do know what I mean THEN SIT BY ME. Now, imagine you are running in this tilty panicked manner, just like regular, and THEN you are sick for 2 weeks and do exactly NONE of the things you need to do and your inbox fills up with 386 unanswered emails and you get NO writing done and the ONE PERSON in the world that can answer a research question you MUST have answered before you can rewrite Chapter Ten REFUSES TO CALL YOU back even when you CALL AND CALL and ask nicely, and call again and ask nicely with an explanation of why you need this info and call again and say can anyone else give me this info please please and then get told no and then ask for just four minutes, and no one calls back, and then basically beg and grovel and lick toes and none of your work gets done NONE and you have WE|EKS of shirked responsibilities on your CHEST pressing you down until you can't freakin BREATHE....yeah. That's where I am right now.

Luckily, I get to start taping an audiobook tomorrow, so the crushing WHAT WAS I THINKING! I AM GOING TO MAKE A TOTAL FOOL OUT OF MYSELF!! panic is currently supressing the regular panic. See, I am not ready. I was being so careful with my throat because of the Lungus that I haven't worked hard enough OUT LOUD on my character voices because I have to conserve MY voice. I am freakin. right. the. heck. out.

Another part of me says, you know, even if you had prepared every day for 8 hours with the ghost of Laurence Olivier as your acting coach you would still be freakin. right. the. heck. out, because frankly, my dear, That's what you do. That is who I am. Or, to be funkolicious about it, as the Black Eyed Peas and I assured each other JUST this morning (as some of us were working out and lypsyncing and others of us were, oh I don't know, maybe passed out in the backseat of a limo entwined with a supermodel? Just a guess...) anyway, as they sang and I synced, "That's what we do, that's who we be." Of course, I also joined with the Peas in proclaiming, "Eff Are Ee Ess Aitch, We fresh!" while sweating like a pig on my aerobic step. So. Maybe the Black Eyed Peas make me say things that aren't specifically true. ALSO, maybe The Black Eyed, Peas are not the ones to turn to in time of spiritual crisis.

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, they DID tell me to, "Shake it girl, shake it girl, make sure you don't break it girl," which has been my philosophy with my throat---I've tried to shake the voices around in my head while not breaking my physical voice. SO. THANKS! THANKS, WISE PEAS! HEY PEAS, CAN YOU DO MY TAXES?

Somebody needs to, God knows -- that's another thing I've let slip.

AH well, can't think about taxes now, I have a lot of "huddling in a terrified mass under my quilt and not sleeping" to do.

Posted by joshilyn at February 20, 2006 5:48 PM

Need Straretto?

Posted by: Heather Cook at February 20, 2006 8:16 PM

Break out the Maker's and drown that freak-out because you are gonna be AWESOME, Tulip! And I can't wait to hear it. Here's to an anti-lungus, flatulence free day! ;)

Posted by: Amy-GO at February 20, 2006 9:38 PM

I wanted to come up with some comforting words via song lyrics, since the Peas are the Thang today, but my brain isn't functioning properly tonight so I'll just say "there, there" (pat, pat, pat)"you'll do GREAT!" And also, "you're pretty".

Hope you feel funkalicious and lungus-free tomorrow.

Posted by: DebR at February 20, 2006 10:47 PM

You are going to be MAGFNIFICENT!!! I am so so so looking forward to hearing it.

I would be under my own quilt of doom right now, not sleeping, except that Lila just broke our bed.

Perfect ending to a perfect day.

Posted by: Cornelia Read at February 21, 2006 12:47 AM

You'll do great, girl!

Personally, I think the Black-Eyed Peas are the perfect people to turn to for spiritual guidance.

Remember, you're reading, yes, but you don't actually have to perform the entire book to make it listenable.

Posted by: Edgy Mama at February 21, 2006 10:38 AM

OKay let's take this step by step.

First off, you've been sick - get over it

Second - resting your throat is very important and you'll know exactly what I mean in a day or so....so keep drinking the throat coat and don't give up.

Third - you won't have time to write while recording so you will suddenly in a fit of inspiration realise you were looking for facts in all the wrong places and have an epiphany from God about who you should use as a research database.

Fourth - Taxes aren't due until April 15th and wow! they give you 11 hours 59 minutes and 59 seconds to get it in on that date.

Fifth - with Olivier as your coach how could you possibly go wrong? I was wondering how he felt about the Peas?

Six - 386? I am glad people don't like me, like they love you and hang on your every word. Because we do, but we don't me, and that is heavenly. :) have a great day :)

Posted by: Cele at February 21, 2006 11:55 AM

Hey Roni,

you're going to be BRILLIANT, as usual. Don't beat up on yourself. Relax. It's all going to be FINE, and your book is coming along just as it should be.


Posted by: Karen Abbott at February 21, 2006 2:30 PM

I was right in the middle of giving you all kinds of advice when I realized that I have never read one of my books onto audiotape and I do not the creeping lungus and therefore could not understand your level of nervousness.

So, I'll just say, I'm pullin' for you. I think you'll do great. Who has more passion for the material than you? No one, that's who!

Now, if you need any advice of a dog grooming nature? I am the girl to ask.

Posted by: Contrary at February 21, 2006 7:46 PM

Just stopping by to say you look vaguely familiar and I MISS YOU and I'm sure you doing marvelously this week, because I said so. Mwah!

Posted by: Mir at February 21, 2006 11:58 PM

SO HOW DID IT GO??? Your legion of fans is dying, here...

Posted by: Cornelia Read at February 22, 2006 12:54 AM