January 17, 2006

Exotic Robot Sex Tea

This entry has very little to do with exotic robot sex tea. I know you are disappointed. SORRY. I am too, to be honest. On the bright side, I bet I get a lot of slavering electronic Chai-pervs surfing in from Google. Tra La. I need to put up signs for them. I need one that says:
WELCOME, CHAI PERVS!

and then another that says:
NO ROBOT SEX TEA HERE, EXOTIC OR OTHERWISE.
Better luck to you over at http://exoticrobotsextea.com

I hope none of you ACTUALLY clicked that. And in case you did, let me say, it should be a dead link. Because I made it up. At least, I hope I made it up. If it actually GOES somewhere, I refuse to be held accountable for the content. I wouldn't even know what the content might be. It's not a link *I* would ever click. *Superior Sniff* NO, NO, CERTAINLY NOT!

This entry is all about things I cannot tell you yet. TO WIT!

1) Mir is going to announce something later. Maybe Monday. I was halfway through a long, terribly amusing---practically droll ----little epic prose poem, just a little Pulitzer-worthy something I whipped up that was both trumpeting Mir's delightful project AND riffing on Beowulf all while employing iambic pet-tantra-merecat and a big fat scoop of EXTRA onomatopoeia, when I got an IM from her that said, BY THE WAY, DO NOT ANNOUNCE MY SECRET THING BECUASE IT IS SECRET. So. I just deleted it. , I mean, Life's work, Schmife's work. I am sure I will come up with another ground breaking literary form tomorrow.

Or not.

2) Yes, Virginia, there IS an exotic robot sex tea story. But I JUST CHECKED and I am not allowed to tell THAT story yet EITHER. I am being very thwarted, and passing my thwartation down to you in the form of SNIDE GRUMPING. No, this is not like the pink socks. Remember the pink socks? Because I don't. If you came in late, it was this whole thing on the blog where I started to tell a story about pink socks and then could not tell it because of some distraction or pre-emptedness, and then I forgot to tell it for so long and put it off and put it off so that eventually I forgot the actual story.

People kept bringing it up in the comments but I TRULY had forgotten what happened except what I could extrapolate from the title which was, "somethign appened this one time and someone, maybe me, had or was wearing or mentioned pink socks." It was not a terribly interesting extrapolation. SO CLEARLY This is different because even if I do forget the whole story, WHICH I WILL NOT AS I TOOK PRE EMPTIVE NOTES, but even if I forgot and the notes got MAGICALLY LOST the story I extrapolate from "Exotic Robot Sex Tea" must, yes, MUST, be at least more interesting than any story extrapolated about PINK SOCKS. RIGHT? So. More on this topic later. Pinky Swear. Pinky SOCKY swear, even.

3) At this point, you get to get GRUMPY BACK and say, FINE, JACKSON. WHAT THE HECK CAN YOU TELL US THEN...

Ah, so glad you asked! I can tell you the names and URLS of the...

Posted by joshilyn at January 17, 2006 7:22 PM
Comments

Tease.

Posted by: Amy-GO at January 17, 2006 7:48 PM

I am thinking maybe your next B4B topic could be "what REALLY HAPPENED with the pink socks, and why Joshilyn must pretend she does not remember any of the squalid and/or inspirational details..."

Posted by: Cornelia Read at January 17, 2006 8:38 PM

I vote for Cornelia's idea because I already WROTE my version of the pink story back in the day and I probably still have a copy of it somewhere because I don't delete Stuff as often as I should. I'm pretty sure I still have some emails that date at least back to the Clinton administration.

Posted by: DebR at January 17, 2006 9:53 PM

ROFL! Here I tought I'd get caffiene and electric porn.

Posted by: Heather at January 17, 2006 10:40 PM

Exotic Robot Sex Tea? What, pray tell, would Garden-Variety, Everyday Robot Sex Tea be, then?

Posted by: Laura at January 17, 2006 10:57 PM

*I* remember the pink-sock-promise.
I don't think I can quite recover if I don't get to hear about the...um...exotic robot sex tea. Because that would be criminal, a tease like that.
Come to think of it, robot sex tea may be criminal too...
BY THE WAY, why is everyone talking about sex NOW and not, say, 32 days from now when my head isn't in danger of exploding? Huh?

Posted by: Kira at January 18, 2006 12:51 AM

Yup. Dead end. I checked. Now, about those pink socks...

Posted by: David at January 18, 2006 8:04 AM

I'm going to have to go Archive diving, because well...menopause is stealing my memory...but Joss on the other hand is quite young and nubile with all her faculties in tact, despite her constant MI ramblings to the contrary. So don't let her off the hook...now about that tea....

Posted by: Cele at January 18, 2006 12:00 PM

It was you in the pink socks and I believe roller blades were involved.

Not that I'm still waiting on that story or anything.

Posted by: Bonnie at January 18, 2006 2:58 PM