November 1, 2005

Go, Go, NaNoWriMo!


BEST OF LUCK TO YOU, the few, the proud, the nutzifandangoed, you who are embarking today on this brave Novel-Venture. I salute you, and I hope you kick the turgid buttocks of November with your mighty quills.

Look how well it all turned out for Lani Diane Rich. Her NaNo book got picked up by Warner and IT FREAKING WON THE RITA and now she writes novels full time.

If you have no idea what I am talking about, but all you have planned so far for this month is 1) make a HUGE turkey dinner, 2) eat until you are so impacted with food that even your THROAT feels full and 3) invite a barrel full of relatives with drinking problems over to help you finish off the pies, and you want to add something more CHALLENGING to your month, like, say, 4) Write an entire novel, then you should go HERE.

As for my already started and therefore non-NaNo-qualified novel, David in comments asked how many times I rewrite...

AH HAHAHHA. Let's just say, A LOT. REALLY, really, REALLY, A LOT. I am on Chapter 4 and have just gotten Chapter 1 up to Make-Out Point, and what't THAT. Hardly a COMMITMENT. I don't want to MARRY it yet. Just, you know, give it a back seat lip-locked test mack. Chapters 2 - 4 will be rewritten a good three times before I will let ANYONE ---even my husband and my writing group ---see them. I rewrite MANY times based on what the group says and what I see as I reread and ideas that come to me later and connectiosn that I realize were there all along, lurking in my reptile brain. Then once I have a whole draft, I send it to my whole book reaaders, and begin rewriting it as a whole book three or four times. THEN! Each Chapter than gets another going over as a separate entity, and then a final whole book gloss before my agent looks at it. After he sees it, depending on his feelings and reactions, there may be another quick rewrite before it goes to my editor. So. Yeah. A LOT.

David felt monstrous despair, I think, hearing this. BUT.

Do not listen to me. All I can tell you is how *I* write a book, which may be very similar or the absolute opposite of how *you* write a book. And remember, my way has patches of poor mental health where you weep so hard things come "snotting out your nose" (as Jill says) Based on my recent mental illness numbers, I suspect there must be a better way.

And remember I LIKE thre revising part. That's a PLEASURE to me. It's the DRAFTING that makes me puke and pule and be impossible. I am now happy with Chapter 1 because the BONES are all there and I can forget about making bones out of air which is BORING and HATEFUL and BOTHERSOME. Instead, in this one chapter at least, I can paddle about in the meat and bones of the thing, happy as a psycho-sociopath with two cleavers AND a full set of cranial saws...

MENTALLY ILL ADDENDUM: OMG I LOST MY KEYS! I AM SERIOUS! Yes, I DO mean the keys Scott came home from work yesterday to bring me, yes, the NEW ones, fresh minted off his set. Gone. I swan, I shouldn't be trusted with ANYTHING right now. I should go live in a monastary that outlaws earthly possessions until I get my act, if not ACTUALLY together, at least in the same room with ONE of my three sets of keys...

Posted by joshilyn at November 1, 2005 10:48 AM

I just heard about NaNoWriMo yesterday and decided to join the insanity. NEVER attempted anything remotely like this before. My only qualification is that I can type. Oh, yes, this should go well.

I began Chapter 1 this morning. Let's see, only 49,379 words to go... Bless my heart.

Posted by: Melynda at November 1, 2005 12:13 PM

You lost the keys? Again?! Already??!! *dismayed expression* Clearly, Joss, You. Are. A. Belle! You were meant to live like a princess and have all doors, locks and other manually operable devices serviced for you by a doting staff of maids and servants whose heaven-ordained task it would be to precede your every step and remove such worrisome (and might we also say non-book-writie) distractions from Your Literary Saintliness. Okay, maybe that was laying it on too thick. *thinks for a moment* Nah, I think that's about right. *snork, chuckle, guffaw*

Posted by: David at November 1, 2005 1:47 PM

You know those mitten-saver thingies, that you stick in the arms of kid coats and then attach to the mittens so they are not immediately dropped on the ground when removed? Yeah. I'm sending you one for your keys. *ducking* ;)

Posted by: Amy-GO at November 1, 2005 2:40 PM

Amy, we are long-lost soul sisters. I suggested a lanyard around her neck, earlier, and Joss totally missed the point... asked me if such a device would be useful for hanging a tag that reads, "If found, please feed this woman Prozac." When I clarified that it would be for her KEYS she was unimpressed. But I believe that's the solution; force her to wear them so that they cannot be separated.

Posted by: Mir at November 1, 2005 3:09 PM

Confession: I belong to the Key-Losers R Us Club. I recently browsed through a GAP-like store and found that clothing is getting very technical these days. You can buy jackets and vests that have inner pockets for cell phones and i-pod thingies. While I don't use either, I thought those pockets sure would make for good key storage.

P.S. -- Love your blog. :)

Posted by: Cathy at November 1, 2005 3:26 PM

First off, my wife is both lovely and talented, but clearly she has offended the key gods in a past life and is now doing penance. To combat this, I am considering the following options:

1) A fish bowl full of keys by the front door. Everytime Joshilyn leaves the house she can take a new key with her. The downside is that soon there will be several hundred copies of our keys out there. Better scratch this one.

2) Entry to the car will be done via a thumb print pad on the car door. Ignition will be via voice recognition. Of course, when Joshilyn reads her own audio book anyone would be able to use that to start the car. Plus this one could be cost prohibative. Better move on to #3.

3) Get the OnStar ultra deluxe package:
"Hello OnStar? Could you open my door?" "Thanks, now can you start it up for me?" ...vroooom... "Thanks again".

I'm not sure if OnStar has this ultra deluxe package yet, but clearly that is what is needed. If only I had listened to Joshilyn and gotten her OnStar this situation could have been avoided.

Posted by: Mr. Husband at November 1, 2005 3:36 PM

I see a common thread here- I think the lizard is stealing the keys in a misguided attempt to drive away from your house. He hasn't worked out that whole "can't reach the pedels" thing yet but he sure can open every door to that car.

Posted by: Nic at November 1, 2005 3:54 PM

If it cheers you up any, one of the Reacher Creatures on Lee Child's forum quoted a bit from gods today, and was obviously swooning with profound worship over your amazingness, as he should.

Keys were NOT mentioned, even though it was about driving, the bit he was swooning o'er. Kind of.

Posted by: Cornelia Read at November 1, 2005 8:19 PM

I realize you're already talented, what with the writing of great books and being pretty and all. But it seems to me that losing keys that consistently must be some sort of marketable talent too. Maybe you could turn it into a sideline and advertise that you'll get rid of extra keys for people so they don't end up in landfills. It wouldn't take any extra time, really. They'd just have to get the keys to you and you'd carry them on your person until they get sucked into the key-eating black hole that evidently hangs around you. It would be like a community service.

In the meantime, if you don't like the lanyard idea, how about a chatelaine?

Posted by: DebR at November 2, 2005 8:33 AM

Maybe Mr. Husband needs to put retractable chains on all sets of keys? Firmly attached to Joss' pretty shoes, because we know she does not lose these. makes for a funny mental image. chink -jingle - trip. Oops! sorry Joss'.

If the Geiko can drive, why can't the lizard?

David, I do not write beyond poetry, but I do critique. I have one writer that re-writes so often, her m.s. is read as much as a best seller before I get it. I crit for five authors at the moment, three are published, they all are compulsive / obsessive about rewrites and rereads. That is one of the things that makes them published. The rest is they are all very mentally devisious, marvelous word masters, and manuscript demented (in the nicest possible way.)

Posted by: Cele at November 2, 2005 12:23 PM

I prefer the drafting to revising. Revising gives me migraines.

Posted by: Heather at November 2, 2005 3:09 PM