October 24, 2005

An Open Letter to Joss Whedon

Dear Joss Whedon,

I love you. I would very much like to have a bunch of your babies. Scott says I can. In fact, Scott is looking for a discount uterus on e-bay so he can have a whole bunch of your babies, too. Serenity is perfect, a perfect movie, ballsy and fun and with a big, lovely heart, and it was the cornerstone of the perfect date I had with my husband on Friday. Thank you.

Whatever you do next, I will watch it and buy and love it and own it, forever, even if what you do next is a scene by scene remake of Dallas (sort of in the 1998 Ann Heche/Vince Vaugn Psycho mode) and you do every season all the way up until whoever you have playing Victoria Principal gets out of the shower and we realize the whole last season was a dream so Patrick Duffy can live, and then at that point, YOU DECIDE STICK WITH THE SCRIPT, and make the whole last season a dream so Patrick Duffy can live AGAIN, and you don't even make him undead. If you do it, I will watch it. Then I will buy it, every season, on DVD, and watch it AGAIN. That, my friend? That's love.

I make this solemn vow partially because, let's get real, you have never done one thing I didn't enjoy, and yes, (shamefully! shamefully!) that includes the ill-fated Buffy movie from the 80's starring Dillon from 90210 and PeeWee Herman in a surprisingly good turn as a one-armed bloodsucker who was channeling KISS rock star hair. I list here the reasons, in order, that you have won my moderately frightening devotion:

You made Buffy, THE MUSICAL
You made the Buffy ep, HUSH
You WROTE (the hybrid space-western language, Oh JOSS!) and directed Serenity
You hired the brilliant Jane Espenson
You let Spike come back, once, twice, three times, and then again from the fiery grave on a whole 'nother SHOW even.

In fact, in my POST SERENITY glow, I FORGAVE you for the Buffy "I am not yet COOKIES" Speech, and that's a BIG step for me. That speech led me to believe you have it in your head that if anyone were to end up with anyone, it would be Angel and Buffy, and oh, Joss, no. It is Spike. BECAUSE COME ON, did you WATCH the episode where they tore up the house and the boy loved her when he had no SOUL, Joss, cut him a BREAK. And perhaps the cookies speech was a herring, because if the sudden insta-sister-for-Buffy season taught us anything, it is that you are Mr. Misdirection and to always always always trust you, and so I WILL, Joss. I DO, Joss, so much so that I would show up in a SPIKE FOREVER T-Shirt to watch a mini-series titled BUFFY AND ANGEL, THE WEDDING, if you wrote and directed it.
I would.
I will.
I promise.

With Slavish Devotion,
Joshilyn "Joss" Jackson

Posted by joshilyn at October 24, 2005 7:59 AM

Every now and then, you know, I start thinking that you are just so far beyond the rest of us that I can hardly hope to keep up with you.... And then, you show that your inner dork will forever keep your feet firmly rooted in the firmament.

You had me at discount uterus. You two are the perfect geek couple.

Posted by: Mir at October 24, 2005 8:25 AM

Ah, yes, Serenity. I've seen it four times already, and love it more each time.

And have I mentioned that I got to go to the premiere in LA, and I was *this close* to actually touching Joss Whedon? I'm sure all of his genius would have instantly rubbed off onto me. I was still trying to think of something suitably witty and brilliant to say before he changed directions and walked away. Alas. I guess I'll have to make do without borrowing his genius.

Plus, all those actors are really pretty on the screen, but they're even better looking in real life. It's astonishing (and somewhat annoying).

Posted by: Shanna Swendson at October 24, 2005 11:24 AM

I spent a week emailing anyone who would listen when the Sci-fi channel canceled Farscape. I saw the writing on the wall and gave up. Then Fox canceled (about a week later) Firefly. Crushed. A plot was formed but Sci-Fi still didn't listen to me. Had they we'd have Firefly weekly. I loved Mal and his quirky crew. Nathan Fillion and Adam Baldwin = ahemmm = smile.

Oh, Delight, Delight, Delight Serenity the flick. Don't shake your head - I've still not seen this wonderful piece of celluliod. I so am looking forward to the DVD with all its little treasures hidden in a director's cut edition. I just refuse to pay $16 for tickets, $20 for popcorn and pop. Cheap witch that I am. But I'll dole out $16 for the DVD and live in glorious Sci-fi happiness with it and my Firefly and Farscape disc.

Posted by: Cele at October 24, 2005 11:44 AM

I came to check on the B4B contest - fingers crossed for my sister the finalist - and instead found your letter to Joss. I read. I cheered silently at my desk because I am not the only adult who knows that Hush was amazing and the musical was genius and that the scenes of Buffy and Spike just ripped your heart out. (Although, in a teenage love sort of way, so did "I Will Remember You.")
Anyway - just wanted to say hello and ditto and thanks for the post.

Posted by: Kathy at October 24, 2005 11:54 AM

"Once More With Feeling" (aka Buffy, the Musical) was the best hour of television ever. EVER!!

I would give "Serenity" an 8 out of 10 on the Joss Whedon Scale of Perfection. But the JWSoP is to mere mortals like the human/dog years thing. So an 8 out of 10 on the JWSoP is like a 56 out of 10 for other people. I liked it. A lot.

You are soSO right about Buffy and Spike. Angel is only interesting when he's Angelus. Or a muppet.

I'll be in my bunk.

Posted by: DebR at October 24, 2005 12:33 PM

No! Don't wait for the DVD! See it in the theater!!! Skip the popcorn and coke if you have to (I couldn't eat while watching it, it was so intense). For one thing, you must see it on the big screen. For another, it seems too many people are waiting for the DVD and not seeing it at theaters, which is translating to box office failure in the eyes of the people who are making the decision about whether or not there will be more movies. If you want more Firefly, see it now, in a theater, right away. And then buy the DVD. Otherwise, you're actually sabotaging Joss! Really!

Posted by: Shanna Swendson at October 24, 2005 3:33 PM

I get to go on a date this week! An actual date! With no children! And my husband will be there! And now I know what we're going to do. At least for the first part of the evening. *SMIRK* ;)

Posted by: Amy-GO at October 24, 2005 6:28 PM

The husband has promised to take me on a date Saturday. The teen came home last weekend raving about Serenity, so, with all the loving vibes here, I am more than ever determined that we will see that movie this weekend!

Posted by: Jensgalore at October 24, 2005 11:11 PM

I'm a fan of Riley, personally, though I'm glad he married a nice girl who is so much more with it and loves him more than self-absorbed Buffy ever could.

And, not to be contrary, but I think Serenity would be better on the small screen. There were way too many ultra close ups -- I could practically count River's pores half the time, and I don't think we needed quite so many close crops. I think it would look better not so big. I hat to say it, but It hink there was still abit of small screen mentality going on with whoever was framing those shots.

Still loved the movie, though.

Posted by: Diana at October 25, 2005 9:52 AM

Bought the DVD. Watched it. (Never saw it on TV. Incredible, I know.) NOW, by golly, I'm off to see the MOVIE. Just try and stop me. Go ahead, just try. Joss, you ROCK! Um, both Josses, actually. Heh.

Posted by: David at October 25, 2005 10:10 AM