Aimee Parrot wins. She guessed 3, 4, 5, and 12 were false, which gave her three out of four correct answers AND victory. Someone DID say I looked like Bernadette Peters (and okay---we both have small mouths that never stop talking, so...) but as anyone who has ever popped over to my about the author page can attest I don't look a THING like Jessica Rabbit, and even less like Jessica Simpson. SO. Those two were right.
And AIMEE was the ONLY one who figured out 12 was a BLATANT lie. I could NEVER hate my chocolate brown four inch heeled knee boots! NEVER! NEVER! ALthough after the first two hours standing up in them, I DID begin to hate my feet.
No one got that 13 was another big fat lie. I took TWO steps onto the sand and thought, "I am going to ruin my chocolate brown four inch heeled knee boots and that is absolutely unacceptable, diatomaceous phospherons acting lovely or no diatromaceous phospherons acting lovely." Because there is the beauty of the earth, which, as you know, tends to leave me cold, but THEN there is the beauty of prime footwear, which can move me to absolute TEARS.
SO, ignoring the facts...
(1) I was in a brand new VERY straight, VERY short skirt
(2) I had been drinking for hours
(3) I was in four inch heels...
I clambered and heaved myself up onto a sea wall and took them off. I am sure I looked CHARMING doing it, and I am only sorry that no one was there to FILM the moment and turn it into a HOW TO BE GRACEFUL documentary they could show at the Bolshoi. You know, kinda help the ballerinas out.
I tucked my darlings safely under my arm and walked the beach in my stocking footies, which were, of course, SHREDDED (not quite as shredded as my dignity after that sea wall climb, but CLOSE), and why I didn't take them off as well is a mystery that shall remain unsolved until Umberto Ecco pens The Name of the Boot and explains it in some convoluted and Catholic fashion, a task that is beyond me.
Congrats Aimee, and footies...R.I.P.