September 1, 2005

The Snail of Good Omen


I was looking in the newt tank today and noticed a TINY TINY SNAIL tracking around with his adorable little feelers out, industriously cleaning the newt tank. A MYSTERY snail! Where did he come from? I gave serious thought that perhaps those 4th century BC scientists may have been onto something with that whole "Spontaneous Generation" theory....But then I remembered that a couple of days ago we got some underwater banana plants at PETSMART, and I betcha this snail was secreted in the leaves. Now he is named Mycroft, and I sincerely enjoy him. I enjoy snails in general. I like 'em in the garden, I like 'em in my newt tank, and heck, I even like big fat French ones cooked up in butter and garlic.

Mycroft is The Snail of Good Omen, because right after I discovered him, I got a note from my UK editor...gods in Alabama has been officially out for about two weeks there, and it just today showed up on HEATSEEKERS. That's a list of the fastest-selling books that missed the best seller lists by a snail's breath. AND GODS IS NUMBER THREE ON IT. *pant pant* Let's say it together, shall we? In a breathy little Marilyn kind of voice:


Great Britain, oh my best beloveds, is named GREAT Britain for a reason. I state catagorically and as undisputable fact that the UK flows with honey and the milky milks human kindness and everyone likes them best. If Great Britain was a color it would be SUNSHINE YELLOW, and if Great Britain was an Animal it would be a sentient lion, and if Great Britain was a girlfriend of mine she would wear my size shoe and she would NOT look fat in those pants. And obviously, I mean, so obviously that it hardly need be said, if Great Britain was a JRR Tolkien Character, it WOULD NOT BE A HOBBIT. It would be Legolas as played by Orlando Bloom. (Sidebar: Yum.)

All this, and a FREE SNAIL! I am having a VERY good day.

ALL THAT SAID, there are people who are not having a good day today. Not at all, at all. I'm so horrified by what's going on in New Orleans that I finally had to turn the TV completely off and go watch Mycroft instead. It's blackly awful. I am very conscious today of my blessings...not least among them, knowing where everyone I love IS in the world. We are not currently in mortal peril. We are dry and comfortable. We have fresh water and working toilets and a nice home to come to whenever we get done doing our little businesses out in the world, and I when they arrive, I will have fixed them all Laura's Organic Beef cheeseburgers on Whack-job Spelt buns with cauliflower and a nice salad. Thousands of people right here can't say ANY of that, and those are just the BASICS. That doesn't even get into the perks and blessings, like access to the internet and new, sassy boots and Godiva Chocolate.

If you want to help, you can GO HERE.

Posted by joshilyn at September 1, 2005 11:47 AM

Congratulations on your surprise arrival!

This is definitely an omen of even more good things to come. Remember, if you pass a sack on the side of the street, turn around a get it because it could be stuffed full of drug money.

Posted by: Chickie at September 1, 2005 1:07 PM

Congratulations on #3 and your new pet. What a great day for you.

Yes, the whole New Oleans thing is soooo sad. I've been obsessed with it since it happened but finally had to stop looking at anymore pictures because it was just too much. I'm sure I'll have to watch on TV a bit more tonight. I just love N.O. and the whole thing is so disheartening. I'm not sure which of the events is the most disturbing. Glad to hear you are safe and dry.

Posted by: Peek at September 1, 2005 3:25 PM

I obsessively watch and check my homepage... I can't help it - I want to understand the whys and the hows so that I know what the solution will be for these poor people.

Blessings are all around today, I hardly had to look for them.

Posted by: Heather McCutcheon at September 1, 2005 9:08 PM

Did you show Mycroft your new boots?

Posted by: Mir at September 1, 2005 9:55 PM

The human condition saddens the heart, when desparation results in acts of hatred and inhumanity.

I thank God for nine years of Girl Scouts, a mother who taught me logic and compassion, and living in the wonderful Pacific Northwest. It maybe an old saying but it is sooooo true.

But for the grace of God go I.

May generosity be faster to arrive and accepted with grace.

(not wanting to step on toes but) You are a lovely tulip, thank you (and Mycroft) for making me smile and lifting my heart today.

hmmmm - first Great Britian and then the world - you go girl

Posted by: Cele at September 2, 2005 12:27 AM

Congrats on the snail! It's a good thing you have one, or soon you'd have 20. I learned first-hand that snails are quick to get down and reproduce. Both of my aquarium snails died recently but they laid eggs first, and now I have a good sized population of 20 baby snails. They're not as cute in bulk.

Posted by: Andi at September 2, 2005 10:05 AM

Mycroft? You named a snail after Sherlock Holmes' smarter brother? Obviously, this snail has alot going for it - maybe its antennae are sporting monacles, or it has that look on its face that screams intense thought.

Posted by: bob at September 2, 2005 2:49 PM