August 8, 2005

Bloggus Interruptus

To answer the foreign rights questiosn that have popped up in comments:
YES gods in Alabama is being translated into Thai! I And Spanish and French and Swedish--I just got a note from the Swedish Transslator, asking what a GULCH PARTY is. Hehe.

YES|, All these editions WILL have their own covers, and I can not WAIT to see them. I'll post them here as they begin to exist. The mills of publishing grind slowly...

The UK edition uses the same cover as the American one. Hodder (my publishing house) tried a few things, but ended up getting permission from Warner to use Anne Twomey's cover, which on the one hand was disappointing because I thought it would be rather fun to have another cover, BUT on the other hand...I can't blame them. Anne Twomey is a freakin' genius. The colors, and the way she captures the feel/themes of the book without being too literal...When I first saw it I pretty much wept and began to build a temple for her in my backyard. She did the cover for Between Georgia, too, I am ECSTATIC to tell you, and I should be able to show that to you VERY soon. It's...awesome. She deserves Godiva chocolates and a ticker tape parade and a pony.

*ten minutes later* WOW, just as I typed the word pony, the doorbell rang. It was a package---my AUTHOR COPIES of the UK edition! HUZZAH! I will have to think of a contest to win a signed one of these soon...

*30 minutes later* OH WOW but this blog entry is diffused, As i was typing about the package, an e-mail came for me. It is going into my PEOPLE TO INVESTIGATE SHOULD I TURN UP DEAD file. Some guy wants me to use my PRODIGIOUS influence in L.A. to help him get a pilot made for his TV show idea that he based on this dream he had, but he can't tell me about the dream OR the TV show because, although he is sure I am a good person, I would probably steal it. I wouldn't be able to help myself. The idea is JUST that good. If I help him, later he might let me write the pilot for him. SO! Could I make some phone calls on his behalf? THANKS!

So I did...
I called my friend Jill and told her of my new TV project, and how I have to this week in my copious spare time get a pilot made for a show idea that I don't know what it is because I would steal it. Jill is going to call her very good friend Bruce Willis, just as soon as she meets and befriends him, and we decided to cast NAKED TAYE DIGGS in every part, because, hey, I would watch that show. So would you. Admit it. (Can you tell I just re-watched Chicago?)

The best part of the conversation:

Me -- Oh well, you know, they LOVE me in L.A., if "they" refers to "the restroom attendent at the 4 Seasons that I accidentally tipped 20 bucks because I was hooty." So. I prolly COULD get the pilot made for him. IF I FELT LIKE IT.

That put me on the floor. ..... CAUSE SWIRLED PEAS!!! Funny every time. But it led to this conversation:

Me -- *laugh choke laugh weep choke* OMG Except...*hitching gulps* Okay. OMG. Ok. Except... what is swirled peas?
Jill -- You know, swirled peas.
Me -- No. I don't know.
Jill -- Yes, you do. You know. Swirled peas?
Me--- Um, no.

Jill is from Colorado. They do weird stuff to produce there, apparently. What are you going to do?

Posted by joshilyn at August 8, 2005 12:36 PM

Can't wait to see all the overseas covers!

Do you get a lot of requests from people to help them produce films and autobiographies? I've met quite a few people who have yet to write a single word of the book of their heart but are scared to send the proposal to an editor because the editor will steal it....

Posted by: Elizabeth at August 8, 2005 1:14 PM

Swirled peas? Now, I know purple hull peas. I know english peas. I know chickpeas. I know black eye peas. I know field peas. I dunno 'bout the swirled peas. By the way, what distinguishes a pea from a bean? Both come in pods. And it can not be appearance, because the lowly pinto bean looks much like a pea on steroids. Hmmm.....

Posted by: Angela at August 8, 2005 1:19 PM

Is that anything like the bumper stickers that say "Visualize Whirled Peas" insted of world peace? Perhaps I am being too literal here, though. Take heart Colorado- as anyone who has ever had my uncle's ambrosia will tell you, we Southerner's tend to push the envelope when it comes to doing stuff with our produce too:)
Giant piles of the stuff every holiday that NOBODY touches, yet it comes back every year. Maybe it's the same one?!?

Posted by: Chris at August 8, 2005 2:44 PM

Hey, whaddaya mean doing weird stuff to produce? What's wrong with a little zucchini decorating contest? Particularly when I'm getting my kids to drop them through my neighbors' open windows to get rid of them (I tell them we're playing Robin Hood).

I'm going with the whirled peas theory. Oh, and Joshilyn, I have this idea for a screenplay, but I can't tell you about it, because it's such a great idea, but you'd love it, and so would the loo attendant at the 4 Seasons. E-mail me?

Posted by: Edgy Mama at August 8, 2005 2:58 PM

Naked Taye Diggs? Yes, please.

Posted by: Angel at August 8, 2005 4:57 PM

Allow me to tell you again all about the ballet class I took with Taye Diggs...he was not naked, but in TIGHTS. *fanning self*

Oh, my wasted youth.

Anyway, yes, of course we'd watch that show. I'd even tape it. And possibly do unspeakable things during it.

Posted by: Mir at August 8, 2005 5:06 PM

What exactly *is* gulch party? I have no idea. Although I am from Colorado, and was talking to another Coloradan this morning about splicing sedatives into corn in order to prevent Chinese physics students in Iowa from going on murderous rampages with shotguns. Really.

Posted by: Laura at August 8, 2005 5:51 PM

I have to tell you....I absolutely adore you and your posts always put a smile on my face. :-) Thanks for the perked up Monday!!

Posted by: carrster at August 8, 2005 5:55 PM

'Whirled Peas"???? ARE YOU KIDDING???

D'OH! That makes sense. DAMN!

joss, next time i'll get it right. maybe. then, too, maybe I'll just come up w/ a better glass of sangria that includes a secret ingredient. heh.

Posted by: Jill at August 8, 2005 6:03 PM

I can't wait to see how the Swedes translate "gulch party." ;) And I tend to avoid books translated into Swedish because they usually translate badly -they totally screwed Anne of Green Gables...well not literally cause that would just be wrong - but I will definitely have to get my hands on "gudar i Alabama" just to see how it goes. I bet it will start out something like, "Det finns gudar i Alabama: Jack Daniels, (hmm..wonder how they will translate high school quarterbacks) lästbilar, stora tuttar och Jesus. Jag lamnade en kvar själv, i Posett. Jag sparkade den under kudzuan och lämnade den til kackalackorna."

LOL! Well close enough.

Posted by: FoFuSa at August 8, 2005 7:09 PM

Swirled Peas are better that World Peace. I am sure.

Come on with the contest already! Can it involve cursing in British? Cause, I am rather good at it, but (being a minister's wife) have no use for my talent.

Posted by: Heather at August 8, 2005 7:50 PM

ummmmmmm. swirled peas. whirled peas. *world peace.*

but anyway, i had to laugh out loud at the idea of a show involving naked Taye Diggs in every part. I would so watch that. I would even read teh manual to my VCR to figure out how to tape it so i could watch it again. alone. with some swirled peas.

Posted by: Erica at August 8, 2005 10:11 PM

I can cuss in Spanish, German, Italian, pig latin, and Chinese (why that is cussing is beyond me, but okay - of course I could just be a sucker too.) But what is cussing in British? And where is the course where I can sign up?

Of course I'm Quaker I shouldn't be able to do any of those things.

Swirled Peas come on guys? Haven't you been to the 2005 Swirled Peas Expo, yet? I heard it was the hottest ticket on Hotorbwireitz. I bought my husband's anniversary present at the 2005 Swirled Peas Expo. It would have been nice if he'd told me in advance that he abhors any form of peas. Pass the Xanax please.

Posted by: Cele at August 9, 2005 11:30 AM

I've just finished 'gods in Alabhama', and loved it!
Well done!

Posted by: Michael Place at August 9, 2005 12:04 PM

I know this writer via email only--she contacted me to see about working as crit partners--who truly and sincerely believes that BOTH the movies I, Robot AND the movie Robots were stolen from a script she shopped around.

No, seriously. I mean, I'm aware that neither I, Robot nor Robots bear much resemblence to one another--other than the fact they have robots in them and robots themselves are not exactly, um, new or anything--but this doesn't seem to phase her little conspiracy theory.

[It goes without saying, of course, that her writing in general communication is such that I don't find it that difficult to believe that she's yet to be discovered.]

Anyhow... Yes, these crazies are BIG TIME out there and they will NOT be deterred.

Posted by: Alicia at August 9, 2005 5:15 PM

Swearing in British...


Umm... Maybe my talent has died from lack of use.

any word found in Marian Keyes novels. Bwahahaha!

Posted by: Heather at August 9, 2005 6:37 PM

When I first read "swirled peas" I thought of peas that looked like those LifeSavers Creme Savers candy with the pastel swirls. I was bummed I had never been offered swirled peas.

Whirled Peas? Not nearly as ground-breaking!

Posted by: Jenn at August 9, 2005 8:31 PM

How about naked Taye Diggs covered in swirled peas?
Oh, thank you Lord for computer access! I needed a good laugh today!

Posted by: Amy at August 9, 2005 10:57 PM