July 21, 2005


gods in Alabama made the Quill's Award pre-list for ROOKIE OF THE YEAR award, or best first novel. There are quite a few on each nominations list, and they are going to cut each category down to five or so, so I am not holding my breath that I will get to BE ON TV come October, but it is pretty dern cool to be on that list, you know? I'm pleased and quietly preening.

ALSO You know the QUILLs are getting BUZZ--- it's the Oscars for books. I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THE SHOW. It's the working definition of MUST SEE TV. Not only because I am a rabid reader and am bound to have strong opinions about who should win what etc--although that's a factor--but ALSO because writers are JUST AS NUTZY FANDANGOED as actors. We are ALL just the teeniest bit SQUIRRELLY, except for those of us who are outright ravers, but we don't have stylists and personal trainers and publicity teams telling what we can and cannot say/wear/do in public. DYING TO HEAR THE ACCEPTANCE SPEECHES AND SEE THE FASHION. DYING.

Also -- You know how jewelry and clothing designers DRESS the award noms for the oscars? WHO IS GOING TO DRESS THE WRITERS??

E Reporter: So, who are you wearing?
Writer: Um what?
E! Reporter: Who did your dress?
Writer: Oh...uh...I got it at Rich's? Can we talk about my book for a second?
E! Reporter: You wrote a book?

Also? They don't let a lot of us on TV for a reason. Here is my DREAM, my COMPLETE BEAUTIFUL BOOK AWARD SHOW DREAM!

E! reporter: SO, who are you wearing??
Crazed, Foaming Lunatic-Slash-Writer: I am wearing a dress I made myself by safety pinning bath towels I stole from hotels to protest capitalism and the Paris Hilton media frenzy. Also, NO PANTIES!
E! Reporter: Oh um...
E! Reporter: Oh Dear Father in Heaven, no. Please no.
*Merciful cut to commercial*

OKAY PROBABLY NOT. That's actually what would happen at the Performance Artist Awards. WHICH IS A GREAT IDEA. Bravo, are you LISTENING??? And then you could take all the winners and put them on an island with only primitive weaponry and whoever lives gets a HUGE! NEA grant.

Honestly! I should quit this glamorous life I am leading and go write for "unscripted" TV.

Posted by joshilyn at July 21, 2005 7:51 AM

Congrats, Joshilyn. Woohoo!

Hilarious post, as usual. I can imagine several other writer interview scenarios, but the burning question is, when you get to the finals (which I'm betting you will) what are you going to wear?

Posted by: Edgy Mama at July 21, 2005 9:56 AM


Posted by: katie at July 21, 2005 10:41 AM

Let's all sing together now, the Vonage song: WOO HOO, WOO HOO HOO. WOO HOO, WOO HOO HOO. WOO HOO, WOO HOO. WOO HOO, WOO HOO HOO!

SWEET Alabama! Am I impressed! And happy for you, proud of you, and you're hysterical.

Posted by: Jilly at July 21, 2005 11:04 AM

I would watch that reality show! :)

Posted by: Jensgalore at July 21, 2005 11:06 AM

Way to go Joss!

May I suggest an evening ensemble of ombred wrapping tissue? Think about it, when the conversation veers from you all you need is a spray bottle to refocus them and the cameras on your. It would be riviting reality tv, the fashion statement of the year, and truly worthy of gods -

- if this fails: kick your cute shoes off, climb the nearest tree and sing the vonage song.

Posted by: Cele at July 21, 2005 12:08 PM

I have three words for you:
Duct Tape Dress
Think aboutit.

Also, congrats on making the possibles list!
Also, when/where can we see this awards ceremony??

Posted by: DebR at July 21, 2005 12:25 PM

The Quills will be broadcast on NBC in October. For info, follow the non-linky link:


And there you.

Posted by: Mr. Husband at July 21, 2005 1:53 PM

J., where is the pre-list? I haven't been able to find it on-line.

Posted by: Edgy Mama at July 21, 2005 3:09 PM


Posted by: Heather at July 21, 2005 4:08 PM

*WHEN* you win, will you have the clout to bring back the dark chocolate M&M's? ;)

Posted by: Angel at July 21, 2005 4:13 PM

Oh, Dear Father in Heaven, yes! *LMAO* If you wrote something like that, I might start watching TV again just to see it. And congrats on making THE LIST. For the Quills, a kudzu-accented dress and matching heels would be entirely appropriate, don'tcha think?

Posted by: David at July 21, 2005 7:00 PM

Congratulations! You *so* deserve it.

Posted by: Aimee at July 22, 2005 10:52 AM

Congratulations!!! Whatever you wear (and I'm sure you'll be on TV), I know you'll have cute shoes. :)

Posted by: Judith at July 25, 2005 11:08 AM