May 29, 2005

100 Things About Mr. Husband

1) He's tall. I can wear any heel I like and he is still taller.
2) He has big, thick arm bones, so I cannot get my fingers to meet or even yell "Hello" each other if I grab his wrist, and at the end of them, he has giant hants, like oven mitts. They are big, square hands with blunt-tipped fingers, and they are high on my list of "favorite husband pieces." They look like blacksmith's hands.
3) But he can do close magic with them, and finesse a quarter directly from the nostril of a big-eyed six year old.
4) We met because of theatre.
5) I was an actor, but he acted and stage managed and designed lights and ran lights and built mighty sets with his blacksmith's hands.
6) We were just friends for seven years.
7) The first time we really really for really real kissed, we were outside, it was late in the night, and it was cold out. The air had that apple-clean bite to it. Now whenever the air gets crisp like that, I feel happy.
8) He's a good kisser.
9) He can build furniture.
10) When our babies were little-tiny and upset, he would drape them belly-down over his forearm with their heads in his palm and walk them up and down the hall until they stopped being unhappy.
11) He is a pool shark.
12) He has won bar tournaments and has his own cue that screws together.
13) About two years ago he took it into his head to grow a beard.
14) I was against it.
15) Then I decided it was hot.
16) A few months ago he shaved it off and I was against him shaving it off and remained against it.
17) He put it back.
18) He usually lets me have my way.
19) Except when I am clearly wrong. Like when he wanted to grow the beard in the first place.
20) Or when he feels strongly about something. Then I let him have his way.
21) He has never, no never, no never never never, not once, never lost his temper and been genuinely angry with me.
22) Seriously.
23) He has been exasperated, grumpy, impatient, irritated, and dismissive a few times, but never no never never not even once has he lost his temper with me.
24) In fact, I can count on one had the number of times I have seen him genuinely lose his temper with ANYONE.
25) And I would not need my thumb.
26) Or my pinky.
25) It is scary. He gets very silent, and very still, and all the air around him gets so ice-cold that it could shatter glass, and he speaks in a this very deep, deliberate voice, and little animals for MILES around smell doom in the air and go leaping up trees and down holes.
26) If he ever does actually for really genuinely lose his temper with me, I will probably fall over immediately dead.
27) He claims he doesn't think I am high maintenance.
28) I have met EVERY girlfriend he ever had, except a couple of high school ones.
29) They were ALL high maintenance.
30) I have never seen him sit down and watch an entire sporting event.
31) He has freakishly good hand-eye co-ordination.
32) Once I knocked a glass off the kitchen counter, like REALLY gave it a good whang, and it went hurtling to its doom and he swooped at it in one smooth, long swoop and caught it.
33) Once a mouse was running across the kitchen floor and he picked up a tupperware bowl and threw it like a Frisbee and caught the mouse under it perfectly.
34) Didn't even hurt the mouse.
35) I threw the bowl out though.
36) He often forgets Valentine's day.
37) He doesn't forget my birthday, because it is two days after his.
38) He has never once forgotten Mother's Day.
39) One year, he forgot Valentine's Day, and I cried. The next year, he strung the kitchen with little pink, blinking lights and I got a festival of presents and he made me dinner. It was grilled meat.
40) The man is a wizard with meat and a grill.
41) He also makes the best scrambled eggs.
42) He cannot resist a pun.
43) He thinks I am pretty and says so.
44) I call him Flip or Flippert.
45) He calls me Joss.
46) Our handwriting is freakishly similar.
47) We forge each other's name on checks to deposit them.
48) Unless you work at my bank or for the IRS and this is illegal. Then, ha ha, I was only kidding.
49) I drove six hours to see him perform in Samuel Beckett's End Game.
50) He. Was. Amazing.
51) Seriously.
52) He doesn't drink.
53) He used to, but now even one glass of wine will often give him a headache.
54) Everyone thinks his eyes are brown, but if you get really, really close and look, they are a deep, clear green. Not a speck of brown in them.
55) Honey, you don't need to get really, really close and look. You can just TRUST me.
56) I meant it, trollop. Back off.
57) He reads Stephen J. Gould.
58) For fun.
59) Once when we were very young and stupid, he helped me steal a toilet.
60) He was not enthusiastic about the project.
61) He said we weren't even STEALING it, that someone had put it out on the curb in the hopes that someone else would haul it away, and that essentially we were not big dangerous international toilet thieves at all. We were more like, trash haulers.
62) I maintain to this day that we stole the toilet.
63) We put the toilet in my back yard, and my parents were singularly unamused.
64) A week or so later, a hurt crow showed up, unable to fly, and I nursed him back to health. Mr. Crow LOVED that toilet. LOVED it. He used it as a perch until his wing healed and he flew away, and every time Scott was over I would drag him to the backyard and point at the crow perched happily on the toilet and say, "SEE!?!?!?! SEE?!?!?!?!|"
65) He gives the best foot rubs in America.
66) His mom taught him how.
67) She told him she was doing his future wife a favor.
68) We need to send her flowers more often.
69) He reads mostly history and biography and philosophy and physics, so it is hard to find a novel he likes.
70) When I find one he can't put down, I feel very happy and satisfied.
71) He loves Bel Canto.
72) He loves gods in Alabama.
73) Once on the interstate, a terrible wreck began to happen just in front of us, and cars smashed into each other and crumpled, and I screamed and Sam was a baby in the backseat, and he drove right off the shoulder and safely into the grass and the car that was behind us even could not stop and ended up in the smashed pile-up.
75) He REALLY likes songs.
76) When he finds something interesting and I think it is hideously dull, like, say, CHAOS THEORY or THE HOOVER DAM, he gets antsy and restless until I let him tell me about it, and then he tries to convert me into being interested.
77) Sometimes, like with chaos theory, it turns out that it IS interesting, and I am glad he told me and I ask questions and end up reading about it, too.
78) Sometimes, like with the Hoover Dam...not so much.
79) He likes movies with Ninjas in them.
80) He has more identity tied up in his family then he does tied up in his career.
81) He can juggle.
82) His favorite color is green.
83) He becomes palpably excited when we get within two miles of a Home Depot.
84) On our honeymoon, we went to New Orleans.
85) We chartered a boat and spent one day fishing.
86) I caught none and he caught one---by which I mean, he accidentally hooked a minnow through the belly as it went past.
87) We saw an island where the baby herons were nesting, and he snuck me into someone's fishing shanty so I could pee.
88) We also went on the Honey Island Swamp Tour. And to the Zoo.
89) He likes to sleep, falls asleep easily, can sleep anywhere in any shape, and needs more sleep than me.
90) He will play computer ganes with me until two in the morning, sometimes.
91) He is very observent.
92) Neither of us can SPELL for crap.
93) When we got married, he pretty much let me have my way about everything re:the wedding, but he had opinions about the flowers. My mother thought it was a little odd. But he did, he had OPINIONS, so he went with us to order the flowers, and he was VERY anti-baby's breath, so I backed him on it, got all bridely and demanding when the florist boggled at the "no baby's breath" edict. They used Queen Anne's Lace instead, and people after could NOT shut up about the flowers. They kept saying how pretty and unusual they were, and no one could put a finger on it. But I knew why.
94) He's not a good dancer.
95) Once we did a play together, he must have been 21 or so, and he played Lenin. He had to wear a bald cap. He looked at himself in the mirror and said, "Behold, my genetic legacy. I will look like this for real before I am thirty."
96) He was right.
97) I thought he was cute in the bald cap, though. So it all worked out.
98) Eleven years ago yesterday, he foolishly, foolishly answered the priest in the affirmative, and got stuck with me for life.
99) I still like him.
100) I like him best.

Posted by joshilyn at May 29, 2005 7:38 AM

I was just trolling for inspiration for my own blog, and that was just so nice! I married my love on Valentine's Day (18 yrs ago) so I never forget. May you have many more happy years together!

Posted by: Patti at May 29, 2005 8:09 AM

Wow. Really, just wow.

PS...can we see a wedding pic with flowers??

Posted by: DebR at May 29, 2005 9:06 AM

You were the first blog I read today, and now I don't need to read any more because reading that made me so happy. :)

Posted by: lizardek at May 29, 2005 9:14 AM

Happy anniversary, you two're the only ones I know who've got it just exactly right! Congratulations! :)

Posted by: Amy at May 29, 2005 9:53 AM

Best Anniversary post ever! Also? Best "100 Things" list. May the next 11 years be even more fabulous than the first.

Posted by: Marilyn at May 29, 2005 10:23 AM

Horray for wonderful husbands! Congratulations to you both. Any pictures to share? How about a wedding one with those beautious flowers? Happy Anniversary!

Posted by: Em at May 29, 2005 10:58 AM

Awww . . . very sweet. My anniversary (thirteen years) is today. As I told my husband last night, "There's nobody I'd rather squabble with." Take care, Joshilyn -- Katie

Posted by: katie willard at May 29, 2005 11:04 AM

I love you too.

Happy anniversary.

- Flip

Posted by: Mr. Husband at May 29, 2005 11:21 AM

I hope you guys get eleventy-eleven more years, with one to grow on.

Posted by: Cornelia Read at May 29, 2005 11:44 AM

I think it's nice you've both found yourselves keepers. You're not quite alike, but you match.
Bless you both and your family.

Posted by: David at May 29, 2005 2:41 PM

Congrats, Joss & Flip!

Posted by: Beth at May 29, 2005 5:20 PM

Awwwwwwwwww. *sniffle*

If I didn't know how much you both deserve it because you're so freaking awesome, I'd be incredibly jealous. Well, actually, I am incredibly jealous, but I'm hiding it well, dontcha think? ;)

Happy anniversary!

Posted by: Mir at May 29, 2005 6:44 PM

Aw...Happy Anniversary, you guys!

Posted by: aimee at May 29, 2005 11:09 PM

Happy Anniversary! Beautiful post. My eleven years is coming up in a few months. Don't think I'll be able to compete with this post though. Have a great day, a better year, and the best lifetime together!

Posted by: MoMMY at May 30, 2005 6:48 AM

Wedding pic. Wedding pic. Wedding pic. C'mon.. you can put one up!!

Posted by: Heather McCutcheon at May 30, 2005 12:10 PM

Counted Blessings. I kissed a toad and a frog before finding my other half. It is nice to see some people get it right the first time. I agree so here is a wist to you both for another eleventy-eleven. Now that you have inspired me, I will take the time to write my own list of counted blessings to warm me on those night's when Ducky is gone and I am sad without him.

Posted by: Cele at May 30, 2005 12:56 PM

Sweet. Especially since Mr. Husband read it and knows how much you appreciate him!

Posted by: Edgy Mama at May 30, 2005 2:31 PM

aaawwwwwwwwwww.... just awwwwwwwww.

Posted by: hiai at June 1, 2005 3:42 PM

Wow. Now I need to find Kleenex. That was awesome, and I think I need to go dig "gods" out of my TBR pile and read it, like, now. If you wrote that anything like's gotta be great! Happy Anniversary...late. :-)

Posted by: Shannon at June 1, 2005 4:52 PM