May 11, 2005

I Shriek At You and then Run for a Plane

ONE OF THE REPS gave me an ARC for a book I am DYING to read. It is called WIDOW OF THE SOUTH by ROBERT HICKS and it is coming out this fall and, oh my best beloveds, you heard it here first: Hothothot buzz all OVER this book. I LIKE ARCs, I LOVE getting my hands on a book before it is released. It makes me feel DIRTY. But in a good way.

SO I am all BOTHERED to read this ARC but I couldn't because it is SOUTHERN and I don't read southern when I am working and (I am pleased to report) I AM WORKING. My brain is a bag of low-fat popcorn revolving in the microwave oven of my head, poppoppop. I plan to read WIDOW at the end of this month when I take a little 2 week break to work on some SUMMARIES...SO LONG STORY UNBEARABLY LONG... I GOT a copy and I just went to LOOK for it to show my mother who is here to raise my children as I gallivant off to Chicago and Vermont, and I realized I must have promptly LOST it. DERNIT. I was on the road.

WAIT NO! It was in New Orleans!!! I think. I think I may have mailed it to myself, or handed it to the media escort to mail to me! OH MY LORD it is seriously all coming back to me as I type. That's where it is. My LUGGAGE got overweight and somewhere in New Orleans is a media rep who has a BUTTLOAD of my books actually that we kept meaning to ship and we kept being thwarted by post office hours and the not having a box where they would all fit and there are COOKIES in there too I think, COOKIES! I was trying to mail myself these LEMON COOKIES and a SHARP pink purse that Gabi gave me and a PANTSLOAD of books, and we never could get them mailed, and the media escort said, DO NOT WORRY MY LITTLE POODLE, MY DUMPLING, MY BELOVED SHY HERMIT CRAB! FOR I SHALL MAIL THEM TO YOU! MEDIA RATE! BECAUSE I AM THRIFTY, NOW LIE YOUR HEAD UPON MY RAMPANT BOOOOSOMS AND I SHALL PET YOUR HAIR AND SING TO YOU AS WE GO TO THE AIRPORT.

I love media escorts. They pick you up and tote you around and feed you at regular intervals and are usually BOOK people to boot. It's like a WELL-READ NANNY for grown-ups. I want one for my house.


Sam: I think we're going to add another baby when Maisy is five.
My Mother: Oh? Really?
Sam: Yes. That's only two years away, so we better get ready.
My Mother: Why do you think you guys will be adding another baby? Did your mom and dad say something?
Sam: I think mom wants some more people around here. You know, to help with the chores.

ADDENDUM: FOUND THE BOX! The media rep DID ship it. My husband PUT IT IN A SPECIAL PLACE because I was on the road. WIDOW OF THE SOUTH NOT IN IT. Distraught. I was SO sure that was where it was. Taking WHITE TEETH to read on the plane, anyway, but. Where is that BOOK????

Posted by joshilyn at May 11, 2005 7:10 AM

Great blog, great book. I'll be back for more of both!

Posted by: Patry Francis at May 11, 2005 8:27 AM

Your LUGGAGE got overweight? From eating too many rich, savory books, no doubt. Or was it lemon cookies? ;-)

Posted by: David at May 11, 2005 8:39 AM

Well I say you should combine your plan and Sam's plan --- instead of adding another baby, add a media escort! Perfect solution, yes?

Posted by: DebR at May 11, 2005 9:16 AM

Let me know if you make it thru White Teeth. I had a hard time after the 1st 2/3. Do not know if my email was one of those that got lost, but I breezed thru GIA in 2 nights (THANKS for making me miss valuable sleep time!!!) and loved it. Gave to mom-in-law for Mother's Day. My 3 boys loved meeting real author (you).


Posted by: "Anne" at May 11, 2005 9:50 AM

Ummm, could the book be with your keys? *laughs hysterically* I'm sorry, that was such a cheap shot but I had to take it. Mea Culpa.

Posted by: Amy at May 11, 2005 1:07 PM

Oh dear. I knew I felt something whizzing past my head, earlier, but when I glanced up, it was gone. Now I see that it was your MENTAL ILLNESS NUMBER soaring past.

My guess is that you have the ARC somewhere... or that the Media Rep (did she make you sit on the Naughty Step at all?) knows where it is.

In the meantime, do not fret! And if you need some people to add to your family, I have a small girl who WANTS to be a baby, and I think she'd fit right in at your place. Or--wait, this is better--you could add ME to your family and I'll leave HER here. That may work out better all around. And I promise not to show you my nobles. Unless I'm drunk.

Posted by: Mir at May 11, 2005 2:16 PM

Incredibly jealous of ARCs and sharp pink purse. LOL!

Posted by: Heather at May 11, 2005 4:57 PM

If Sam gets his way and your home becomes a little more populated, then surely a well-read Nanny will be in order...

Posted by: Marilyn at May 11, 2005 10:38 PM

I'm betting you left the book on top of the chip vending machine in the hotel from hell :)

Posted by: Kitty at May 12, 2005 5:25 AM

I loved White Teeth! Hilarious comment from your son. So how does one pick up a media escort?

Posted by: Edgy Mama at May 12, 2005 1:49 PM