March 11, 2005

What my Editor Says

THE WHAT: Now is the winter of my discombobulation and discomfort, if not discontent. I am not QUITE READY to hurl my tender body beneath the certain-death-wheels of a semi truck. Heck, I am not even ready to hitchhike up to Amish country and try the good-survival-odds-wheels of a horse drawn milk cart. I'm only having a break from giddy anticipation and thrill, pausing for a long dark tea-time of the soul.

THE WHY: Pre-sell stuff has made life was a whirligig on speed. BUT NOW, nothing is happening after so many things happened so fast all in a row.

MY EDITOR SAYS: "Got quiet on you, didn't it? The pre-sale and ad campaign stuff is over, the industry reviews are in, the regular reviews and features won't come until the book comes out---it gets quiet. This is the time when statistically most debut authors DO end up mysteriously dead in small South American countries and their blood chemistry comes back glowingly positive for absinthe and cocaine and existential angst in equal parts. It's perfectly normalnormalnormal to be certifiable at this stage of the game.

DID SHE REALLY SAY THAT PART ABOUT YOUR IMPENDING DEATH IN SOUTH AMERICA?: No.

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THE WHAT: I gave up WORRY for Lent.

THE WHY: My closet Anglicanism is showing. I observe Lent every year. This year, unable to imagine going the weeks right before my first novel comes out without the lovely crutch of CHOCOLATE, I decided my most pervasive vice was WORRY and gave it up, or rather, whenever I CATCH myself worrying (about four times a second) I have to STOP and turn my scampering hamster of a mind toward virtue. Which (in my PRE-DEFENSE) let me say has kept my mind turned toward virtue a lot more often than abstaining from chocolate, as I only want chocolate TWICE a second.

MY EDITOR SAYS: "This is your Jewish friend talking here, so maybe I am missing the point, but for Lent, aren't you supposed to give up something you actually enjoy? As a Sacrifice? Instead of using it as an excuse to obsessively finger your warty little little feelings some more?"

DID YOUR JEWISH EDITOR JUST SLAM DUNK YOUR HEAD, DOCTRINALLY SPEAKING, AND AS A CLOSET ANGLICAN ARE YOU HEARTILY ASHAMED: Shut up.

DID SHE REALLY SAY THAT PART ABOUT FINGERING YOUR WARTY LITTLE FEELINGS?: No.

SO SHOULD YOU SWITCH MID-STREAM AND MAYBE GO AHEAD AND GIVE UP CHOCOLATE?: Shut. Up.

---

I SAY: *wail panic sniffle wail sniffle*

MY EDITOR SAYS: *patpatpatpatpatpatpat*

I love my editor.

Posted by joshilyn at March 11, 2005 10:03 AM
Comments

What if you gave up Lent for Lent?

Just a thought. :-)

Posted by: DebR at March 11, 2005 10:24 AM

Aw, go ahead. Eat the chocolate. Chocolate is actually good for you, you know. (I'm sure there's a medical report to that effect SOMEWHERE) You can always give up something else for Lent - like, oh, idunno, shoe shopping maybe? *grins wickedly*

Posted by: David at March 11, 2005 1:33 PM

I observe Lent every year. Then as I watch people participate I wonder why. *wink*

Posted by: Shawn B. at March 11, 2005 7:13 PM

Oh. dear.

Thin mint?

Posted by: Mir at March 11, 2005 7:32 PM

In observance of Lent, I gave up reading fiction. Guess what my first fiction book will be when Lent is over. Go ahead, guess. Yes!!!! gods in Alabama! yippeee!

Posted by: Dana at March 11, 2005 7:38 PM

Maybe I've been reading too much "Davinci Code". I'm sure there's a lent loophole. If we look closely at the "Mona Lisa", I'm sure her smile is secretly saying, "Eat some chocolate...'cause you're about to kick some major literary ass!" I could be wrong, but then again, I was brought up this side of snake handling.

Posted by: Waylon at March 12, 2005 12:50 AM

Samuel was born on Mardi Gras - so I officially gave up being pregnant for Lent! And sleep! And all my excuses for being FATFATFAT!

Eat the chocolate. It'll make you feel better. I know it's working for me!

Posted by: Amy at March 12, 2005 10:04 AM

Ok, so your editor may have a point. However...years ago, I gave up GIVING UP anything for Lent, and instead decided to TAKE ON something more positive for the season. It may not be exactly correct doctrinally speaking, but I figure it goes with the spirit of my faith better.

Posted by: Lisa at March 12, 2005 11:27 AM

I'm observing Lint instead.

Posted by: Brooks at March 12, 2005 11:38 PM

patpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpat...

feeling better yet? :)

Posted by: Kitty at March 14, 2005 5:16 AM