February 27, 2005

Eater of Worms

Today is my birthday. I am not having a fuss. I gave up having a fuss 8 years and 1 day ago, when Sam was born. See, he was born the 26th of February -- I was born the 27th. Scott was born on the 25th, so it's kinda neat, the three of us making a birthday sandwich with Sam as the bologna. (Poor Maisy came on the right DAY, but a month late---MARCH 28th!)

Birthdays were always a big deal to me, important, and so, since Sam is INTERNALLY my CLONE (he looks like his dad, but if you SCRATCH the surface even the faintest bit, it's almost ALL ME under there, poor kid) I felt they would be important to HIM. So I wanted him to have HIS DAY without feeling like it was STUCK between ours and always overshadowed BLAH BLAH. So I pretty much quit doing anything for mine and Scott's and Scott COULD. NOT. CARE. LESS. Really. Means nothing to him.

But I am a different animal. See, as usual, I was very cheerful and crazed as the birthdays approached, gearing up, planning Sam's party. We had it on FRIDAY (which was actually Scott's B-day) and it was a BLAST, the house overrun with five thousand sugared-up BOYS, impossible not to catch a huge case of joy as they thundered around wacking each other upside the head with the pinata bat. And then Yesterday, on Sam's ACTUAL birthday, we had his family party with lunch out and my folks took him to buy a new bike and he opened his presents, and I had a great time until it was all over, all the celebrating was over....and then the next day, today, NOW actually, it's MY birthday. Only we got done with all the fun parts YESTERDAY.

Oh, it's not like the people I love ignored it. On Friday, my friend Judi sent me FLOWERS (because she is pretty), ALSO on Friday my husband and I got to go out for a dual-celebration CHILDFREE dinner and a movie (pretty), my friend Julie gave me a cd of VERY BAD 80's POP which I ADORE (and which is PRETTY except it is guaranteed to cause Scott to stab himself in the ears until he pierces his brain and merciful death takes him), and my folks and my mother-in-law both sent me cards stuffed with CHECKS.

But...it's this OVER thing. It is just now today my birthday, and...all the celebration part is FINISHED. I should have put Julie's gift aside and not opened my cards, but I ALWAYS FORGET this happens, so I wake up with a splitting CHEER HANGOVER on my birthday.

SO, now I am hoping for rain to fall and drown me as I squat in my pit of woe because everything is ruined and dying blah blah oh the wasted trees on the blighted landscape. It's boring of me, and WHAT DO I EXPECT, really? A popped balloon? A useful pot for putting things in? MY SORROW IS RIDICULOUS. And self-centered. And VILE. I SHOULD keep myself very busy with a long to do list that DOES NOT begin with "SULK!" and DOES NOT end with "KILL BOTTLE OF SHIRAZ," but THAT would be a SENSIBLE response, so what are the chances? If you need me, I will be in the back yard eating worms til I die and THEN YOU WILL ALL BE SORRY!

Posted by joshilyn at February 27, 2005 7:57 AM

"Happy Birthday" seems so empty after all that. I hope someone sweet surprises you today :)

I've cried every year on my birthday since always.
This year (two weeks!) Imma go to a big GAY RESORT with a conveniently located GAY CLUB on property so I can drink way too much and crawl to bed when the sun comes up. There's no crying at the gay bar!

Posted by: Dianna at February 27, 2005 8:16 AM

Please put the worms down, Joshilyn. You have a book tour coming up, my dear, and I don't think Warner can prop your dead body up to sign all those books you are certain to sell.

Here is what you are going to do. You are going to take the day off, grab those yummy checks you got from your folks and mom-in-law and go shopping. When you return from shopping, all laden down with bags of fabulous stuff, you are going to draw yourself a nice bath and just soak there with a good book and a glass (note the word GLASS as opposed to BOTTLE)of shiraz.

Picture me wearing a Little Mermaid birthday hat left over from my daughter's birthday wishing you happy, happy!


Posted by: katie willard at February 27, 2005 8:47 AM

Uh...Happy Birthday anyway?

Posted by: AGK at February 27, 2005 8:50 AM

Or you could, you know, write in a blog or something. I hear that's very therapeutic. *grins real big, then runs like heck before he gets clobbered*

*** Happy Birthday, Joshilyn ***

P.S. Perhaps miss Maisy could use a co-celebrant? *points at you*

Posted by: David at February 27, 2005 9:01 AM


Posted by: Carolyn at February 27, 2005 10:56 AM

Oh, HAPPY BIRTHDAY anyway!!! Fun is where you find it. Give Scott some earplugs, put on your 80's CD, and do the Safety Dance.

Posted by: Aimee at February 27, 2005 11:37 AM

Happy Bday Joshilyn! I quit having them, so you can have my extras if it makes you feel any better... :o) xxoo

Posted by: Martha O'Connor at February 27, 2005 11:45 AM

Hurray! It's a pity party!!

Posted by: lizardek at February 27, 2005 2:21 PM

Happy birthday to you,
All of us sure love you,
Happy birthday dear Joshilyn,
Now go take that birthday money and buy a pretty shoe.

(Heck... it's your birthday... buy a whole PAIR!)

Love ya, girl... and love that you admit to being human with such honesty and humor. We should all be so real.

Posted by: Mir at February 27, 2005 4:25 PM


Posted by: Klint at February 27, 2005 7:06 PM

"Put on your red shoes, and dance the blues", la la.

Posted by: KarenB at February 27, 2005 7:06 PM

My wedding anniversary is Sept 9. Dh's birthday is Sept 10. And my birthday is Sept 12. So I can relate. Happy Birthday anyway!

Posted by: Shelley at February 28, 2005 12:21 AM

Happy Birthday to YOOOOUUUU
Happy Birthday to YOOOOUUUU
Happy Birthday dear JOSHILYNNNNNN
Happy Birthday to YOOOOUUUU!!

For what it's worth.....

Carolyn H

Posted by: Carolyn H at February 28, 2005 8:36 AM

Aaaaaaaaaaaguh!!! So sorry I missed it!! Happy Birthday, tulip! Mine was earlier this week and also went by in a blur...feed the baby, change the baby, sleep for 2.5 minutes, feed the baby....wish I was there to go shop with you! Missing you lots...

Posted by: Amy at February 28, 2005 1:40 PM

Happy Birthday!!! :)

Posted by: Mary Jo at March 1, 2005 12:02 AM