January 31, 2005

The Silence of the Lambchop

I have not blogged because I have been lying in bed, marinating in my own foul juices. I wish the juices were red wine infused with rosemary, but ALAS, they seem to be pernicious, bacterial, acute bronchitis. Sick sick sick. I do not often get sick (I think because I am devoted to homeopathic crunch-herb lunacy) BUT! When my immune system decides to crap out, it does so in hyperbole. I 'spose I have been a bad influence on it.

I am now on MANY FINE DRUGS, including SERIOUS antibiotics, the good cough medicine (read: has my friend codeine in it), a breathing treatment and a follow-up inhaler. I finally broke down and went to my doc -- Scott has been wanting me to go for a week, but I resisted until this weekend, when, beginning Saturday night (and this is SO UPSETTING it makes me tear up to even tell you about it now, after it is OVER) ....I WAS NOT ABLE TO TALK FOR ALMOST TWO DAYS.

That's like, my personal idea of unendurable hell. I sat there whispering and rasping desperately at Scott while he tried to stifle me with a pillow to "give that poor voice a rest." UGH! NO TALKING! UGH! UGH! I tell you what, I am ALL FOR homeopathic crunch-herb lunacy, but when I CANNOT TALK, herbs can bite me. Time to live better (and more importantly, LOUDER) through pharmaceuticals.

While I lay dying, two things of familial note happened:

1) Neither of my children engaged in apparently life-threatening convulsions nor did they bleed out nor were they eaten by escaped zoo-predators. (Yes, this is of note. With my I-think-my-baby-is-dying paradigm shift FRESH in my head, any day in which my children are breathing in and out and bright-eyed and pink-cheeked and bursting with rosy health is a BANNER DAY.)

2) My son tested into the gifted program at school. Here at Chez Jackson we are pleased, but not AT ALL surprised.

AND LASTLY -- thanks for voting!!!
The picture thing was a LANDSLIDE. I mailed "Very Serious Artiste with Issues, but at least I WEAR A COLOR" (aka #1)off to my publicist. I am holding the EVIL SPLEEN EATER (aka #3) as a back-up, and I had all copies of #2 dropped down a wormhole, ridding our galaxy of its horrors lest I frighten the little children.

The KUDZU menu thing was -- wow, practically a wash. I gave up trying to figure out which is EMPIRICALLY best and told Scott to fix it however HE likes it. We shall see what he does next week when he gets around to homogenizing it, and that will be the way it is.

Lastly --- Robert Gray is emphatically the new Spain...but perhaps next seasonJill James can be the new Robert Gray. So. It will all work out.

MEANWHILE! Those who read or get or see Publisher's Weekly -- there is a two page ad for gods in it this week! LOOKIT! LOOKIT! *pant pant*

Posted by joshilyn at January 31, 2005 8:56 PM

Although I'm certainly proud to be the new Spain, I'm more than willing to share this esteemed honor with Jill. The new site looks great.

Posted by: Robert Gray at January 31, 2005 9:47 PM

Although I'm extremely proud to be the new Spain, I'm more than willing to share this honor with Jill. The new site looks great.

Posted by: Robert Gray at January 31, 2005 9:50 PM

As you can see, I'm both "certainly" and "extremely" proud, but not, alas, very adept at writing in a comments box.

Posted by: Robert Gray at January 31, 2005 9:54 PM

I am not the new Spain. I don't even think I'm the new Spanish Fort. I send you get well wishes Josh. The site looks fantastic!

Posted by: Waylon at January 31, 2005 10:23 PM

What? Two-pages and NO LINKAGE? Poor dear. You really ARE sick. Drink some liquids and get thee back to bed, young lady.

Posted by: David at February 1, 2005 8:06 AM

Waylon, you are clearly in need of an honorific.

I hereby nominate Waylon to be the new Spanish Omelet.

Posted by: Mr. Husband at February 1, 2005 8:53 AM

I am the new Poland. *weep*

Posted by: Mir at February 1, 2005 12:27 PM

Can I be the new Bahamas?

Posted by: Amy at February 1, 2005 1:35 PM

Gee, I always wanted to be the new Spanish Omelet (as opposed to the old, rancid Spanish Omelet).

Feel better soon. Having been there many times with bronchitis in the past, I know how you feel...and herbs do bite in that kind of situation. Long live codeine-laced cough medicine.

take care,

Posted by: dee at February 1, 2005 3:46 PM