January 27, 2005

In Which God Calls for a Moratorium re: Blogging Texas


Apparently, The Lord does not wish me to blog Texas, so he arranged a day of vomiting baby followed up by a The Day of the Febrile Seizure, and then TODAY when I sat down ONCE AGAIN to blog Texas, I discovered I did INDEED get me a big old snootful of Maisy's stomach virus while caring for her the other night.

For those taking notes, that would be the night I said to Scott the immortal words, "I'm sorry the baby puked on your head..." So, yeah, obviously he has it too. You can't get your HEAD puked on and not expect a virus to get in. The head --- what with the nostrils and the tear ducts and the mouth and all -- is basically a transportion mall for illness. Destination: VIRUS PARADISE.

Scott and I are SHIPWRECKS ON LEGS, shambling about, clutching our respective mixing bowls (me) and buckets (him). I am huddled in my office now, pecking feebly at the keyboard and doing all the things one does in the 90 minute intermissions between puking engagements: trembling, personifying the word "clammy," and calling for sweet, sweet death.

But I can at least throw up the pictures. *RIMSHOT* I mean, throw the pictures up ON THE WEB. That was purely unintentional, that pun, and makes me realize the virus may be IN MY BRAIN.

After lunch in Amarillo, I had half an hour before I had to be back at the airport, so the Warner rep took me by....CADILLAC RANCH. For those not in the know, this is a FIELD, just a regular, real cow field, complete with COWS (and COW POOPS, as my four inch heeled boots were about to discover), where, in the 70's, some commune dwelling, bulgar wheat eating, sandal sporting, macrobioti artists, dedicated in equal parts to DaDa and crunchiness, decided to half bury a bunch of cadillacs, nose down, butts in the air, and then let people come by and put graffitti on them.

I am sure the idea for Cadillac Ranch grew out of, oh, the collective unconcious, and I am very sure it is making a statement about art and accessibility, and I am very very sure that no one, say, took a GREAT BIG BUNCH OF DRUGS and said, "Wouldn't it be hilarious if we buried some luxury cars with their butts in the air out in that cow field where we got all the mushrooms we just ate with our peyote sandwiches?"

Anyway -- here is a pop-up image!

Then the rep took a pic of me with one of the cars and let me tell you, when you STAND THAT CLOSE? These cars smell like THOUSANDS OF CATTLE. It's like super-concentrated eu-de-cattle parfum. In this pop-up image, I look a little MYSTERIOUS as I lurk in the shade, but really I am just woozy with cattle fumes. OR perhaps -- and the hair makes this more likely -- perhaps I have been MOMENTARILY possessed by the spirit of a member of Duran Duran, circa the 80's.

Let's play a GAME! WHICH Duran Duran member DO YOU THINK I am channeling?? I personally would have to say NICK RHODES -- I mean the HAIR, the lips, the PETULANT ANGST...its Nick all the way!

Posted by joshilyn at January 27, 2005 2:59 PM

Can't argue with Nick Rhodes, honestly. You look really good in the photo; you don't need to tell anyone that you were high on cows ;-)

I'm sorry you and Scott got the evil sick. Although I will carry the giggle of "I'm sorry the baby puked on your head..." with me until my dying days!

Get better and no seizures for either of you! Maizy scared us all enough. I don't know if we'd survive that again.

Posted by: Kestralyn at January 27, 2005 3:08 PM

Oh, Nick, absolutely. NO question. Except your hair's not pink, but tomorrow is another day!

Posted by: Shelley at January 27, 2005 4:28 PM

OOhh.. icky sicky. (((HUGS)))

Posted by: Heather at January 27, 2005 4:37 PM

Woozy with cattle fumes sounds preferable to a hat of baby barf, so I guess everything is relative....

Posted by: Mir at January 27, 2005 5:12 PM

I'm sorry you've got it too. I hope little Maisy is feeling better. My hubby and daughter had a stomach virus last week,I haven't got it yet(knock on wood).

Posted by: carolyn at January 27, 2005 6:25 PM

How can you be that sick and keep your sense of humor? You've got me peeing my pants again! Not that that's hard to do, these days...Oh, and yes, Nick, definitely. And I always thought he was the cute one, so that's a good thing.

Posted by: Amy at January 27, 2005 6:28 PM

Now see, Scott, this is why you're not supposed to hold babies up high enough for them to puke on your head. Ask Joshilyn. She knows. That's why SHE just got it all down her front. Of course, she still got sick anyway, BUT, I'm just saying.

I hope y'all get well soon.

Posted by: David at January 27, 2005 7:12 PM

Warm ginger ale greetings to both you and Mr. Hubby. Having had a similar virus just a month ago, I can relate to how you are feeling. Shooting yourself in the head is something that helps...at least it did me. (only kidding, instead I OD on warm ginger ale until I turned into a gaseous puff ball of bad burps).

As to the Cadillac Ranch, at first I thought you were talking about a whore house, and imagine my surprise to find out you mean a metallic Stonehedge. Bet it was a guy who came up with the idea of burying cadillacs "nose down, butts in air"...

feel better soon.

Posted by: dee at January 27, 2005 7:52 PM

OK, for those who are wondering how on earth you can get a baby to puke on your head, here's the gory details.

With the baby so sick we weren't about to let the baby sleep unattended, so we parked her in bed with us. She was sleeping between us in bed and I had dozed off. Aparantly she became ill again and sat up in bed.

I heard a plaintive cry of "Daddy" and opened my eyes just in time to be inundated with plague. It was not the high point of my week.

Posted by: Mr. Husband at January 28, 2005 2:43 AM

I'm sick too, but not the pukey kind, thank goodness. Hope you all recover soon.

And while I agree with Nick, I see some shades of John as well... ;)

Posted by: ViVi at January 28, 2005 6:11 AM

Hope today brought in fresh air and that everyone is feeling better. Watch out for low flying puke. Am bundeling up in NC cause the weather is looking a little frigid and icy. Sending good vibes your way.

Posted by: Gabs at January 28, 2005 12:07 PM

ahhh...i'm sick too! I feel so sorry for us!

Posted by: Suzanne at January 28, 2005 3:03 PM

Jos, I love your website. You are so pretty!!
love, Aunt Susie
PS Anxiously awaitingyour book!!!

Posted by: susie minor at January 28, 2005 4:28 PM

Wow, you were in my neck of the woods. Just a little F.Y.I. on the Cadillac Ranch. It was a project done by an eccentric rich guy out here. He has done a lot of "art" projects around the area included diamond shaped signs with words, images etc. all over town in people's yards. Here's some links on him.

Although I've lived here for 29 years, I'd never been to the Cadillac ranch until this past spring. At yes, it is a bit disgusting. A friend of mine who's kind of obsessed with it wrote a blog about the cows when he went out there to take pictures. You can check it out at http://pgoodman13.blogspot.com/2005/01/moo-dammit.html

Posted by: Annabel at January 31, 2005 2:42 PM