January 16, 2005


I could have just called this entry DELUXE REDUX, but then I didn't.

Sorry the blog petered out. Right after the wine-laden (and 'scrutiating fun) dinner in Portland, I entered into this sort of gray twilight world where I staggered blindly through airports, uncertain of what city I was in. I was actually rather worried about the Denver Dinner because I was SO punchy the words "Denver Dinner" seemed to me to be an ESPECIALLY hilarious thing to say. Over and over and over. Yeah. Um.

BUT it was actually...amazing. Before going I sat in a tub of equal parts bleach and boiling water and scraped the stink of travel from my weary flesh and drank coffee and read a little HAVEN KIMMEL (who is SO good), and all those things made my brain check in and decide it was NOT dead after all, and then -- THANK GOD! The actual dinner itself was served in a restaurant that was INSIDE a bookstore, and the bookstore had that clean paper smell, and walking through it, touching all the things I want to READ NEXT, was restorative and then the PEOPLE were AMAZING. I love people who become physically hot and bothered about books, and these people were they.

I got home yesterday evening, kissed everyone in my house about 90 ZILLION times each (Even the cat! I kissed the CAT right on his LIPS and he protested MIGHTILY and I said, "Good grief, you wash your butt with that mouth and YOU are protesting a little kiss??? Nice. NICE MANNERS." He was unmoved by my words but secretly RATHER pleased to see me). Then I fell into the bed and slept for OVER 14 hours straight. Scott could not wake me up for church. Literally could not bring me to consciousness.

When I woke up I put my JEANS ON to do a DAMAGE ASSESSMENT and if anything I LOST a pound or two, SO! There it is: The final and absolute and uncontrovertible proof of God's existence. You may now pack away any existential angst you might have been feeling. He is up there, folks.

If you STILL are not convinced, then go RIGHT NOW and purchase and read THE SOLACE OF LEAVING EARLY by the astounding, amazing, unbreakable, spiritually gorgeous, HUGE-hearted, GIANT-souled and SUPERLATIVELY-SPEEDY-brained Haven Kimmel. When I grow up, I want to be HER. The end.

Here are things I need to DO and SHALL DO Monday, But RIGHT NOW I have to go work out.

1) Post the couple of random pics/ menus I never posted from the trip.
2) Talk more about HAVEN KIMMEL and why I need to grow up and BE HER.
4) Simultaneously define SIN and BAD LITERATURE, use math to prove they are practically the same thing, and then apply the formula I extract to demonstrate that books that feature MOIST PROSE about the warm and kindly joys of FLACCID PREMARITAL CUDDLING should be hurled across the room.

If I actually attempt 4, it means I am still sleep deprived.

Posted by joshilyn at January 16, 2005 12:59 PM

I read a book by Haven Kimmel. I cannot remember the title now, but it was about growing up in a small town. I loved it.

Posted by: Heather at January 16, 2005 3:04 PM

You are right, Haven Kimmel rocks. Have you read her autobiography, A Girl Named Zippy?

Posted by: lizardek at January 16, 2005 3:40 PM

5)Call your mother!!

Posted by: Her at January 16, 2005 4:45 PM

welcome home, enjoyed hearing about your trip!
btw, do cats have lips?

Posted by: dee at January 16, 2005 4:50 PM

But, how was the chicken dinner? ;)

Posted by: Mir at January 17, 2005 10:32 AM

Very excited to learn what the creepiest thing you have ever seen is!

Posted by: Katie at January 17, 2005 1:03 PM