January 10, 2005

Viva Los Angeles

First class is INSANE -- You get a little fold out TV OF YOUR OWN. And Delta is working hard to create alchoholics by tracking through and plying people with cocktails once every ten minutes. I stuck to sparkling water as I have 5 drinking dinners to go to in a row this week. But SEVERAL people on the flight got SO HAMMERED and sat there giggling like MAD at the hilarious antics of...the clouds out the window? Their own headlice? The amusingly dry seat-in-front-of-them? In the words of the Immortal Sara Jessica Parker, half of first class was DRUNKETTY-DRUNK DRUNK DRUNK! It was like an OBJECT LESSON in how NOT to behave. I TOOK NOTES.

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: The mom from THE WONDER YEARS was on my flight. NOT drunk, by the way. Hehe -- I kept staring at her trying to figure out where I knew her from and then I was like, OH WAIT THIS IS A FLIGHT TO L.A.! I BET I KNOW HER FROM MY FRIEND THE BEAUTIFUL TELEVISION. Thank god I had that epiphany BEFORE I marched up and said, WHERE DEW AH KNEW YA'LL FRUM, HONEY.

Last night was my only free evening before the presales stuff happens and I was SO HAPPY TO HAVE IT in L.A.! I went out to dinner with this woman I haven't seen in 16 years -- she was a very significant influence in my life. She's probably one of the reasons I am ALIVE today as I was (WARNING: Understatement approaching) a bit of a wild child and ever so slightly self-destructive. Because of the influence of this woman, or, rather, girl---She was a girl then, we both were--- I toned myself DOWN quite a bit, made BAD but somewhat less FATAL choices, and ended up NOT getting killed or addicted to cocaine which WAS my plan until she said, "HEY! I have an idea! What if...you DIDN'T GET KILLED or even ADDICTED TO COCAINE?" And I was like, "Wow. Cool idea."

It was SO fascinating to see her now, here in our thirties. She's so...GROWN UP. When I knew her, we were both dewy and FETAL. And she's grown into this beautiful, chic, accomplished, confident woman. Like a LOT of people, she moved to L.A. right out of college to "have a rockin' career in the movie industry," and then, shockingly, INSTEAD OF JUST BECOMING A HOOKER AND GETTING STRANGLED LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, she went ahead and got herself a rockin' career in the movie industry. She took me to eat at a favorite place of hers (Snapper to die for) and, see that was her idea: Sit in elegant surroundings and eat world class food and catch up over 16 years. HER idea. MY idea? March around in the pouring rain and go look at all the FOOTPRINTS of the stars in the concrete to see what famous male movie stars have TEENY LITTLE FEET and then giggle and waggle my eyebrows suggestively. I am pleased ONE of us grew up, anyway.

Pop Up image--me getting rained on at Graumans.

So she took me on the ten-penny tour of her town -- all these sorts of DORKY tourist things I was secretly dying to see. I kept screeching OH LOOK THE CHINESE THEATRE! OH LOOK RODEO DRIVE!!! OH LOOK A PALM TREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And she said, Yeah. Um, yeah. That's a palm tree..." Because, see, she lives here.
At one point we stood in a marble plaza with HUGE elephants rearing up...gorgeous.
She said, "PEER THAT WAY. If it wasn't pouring rain you could see the Hollywood sign."
ME: OH! AH!! HOLLYWOOD SIGN!!! SQUEAL!!!" And I snapped a digital picture of some rain with a Hollywood sign presumably behind it.

Click to see a op-up of me grinning like a hyperactive monkey on Hollywood Blvd.

I need to go hit the gym, but first, three random, surreal, L.A. moments:

On the way in from the airport I saw a street sign that said RODEO and boggled at it all hopeful and then noticed it had a BIG FAT TARGET ON IT!!!! A TARGET!
And I said, "THAT is ro-DAY-oh drive??? THEY HAVE A TARGET THERE????"
And my driver said, HA! NO! That's RO-dee-oh."
So. What a difference an emphasized syllable makes, eh?

In the lobby this woman with MANY LONG FUR TAILS attached randomly to her shirt shrieked at the front desk guy, "DARLING THE STUDIO IS PAYING FOR MY ROOM BUT HERE," and she passed him a hundred, "PASS THIS AROUND."

I just paid 12 bucks for coffee from room service. BUT HEY, it came with a STRAWBERRY!

Posted by joshilyn at January 10, 2005 10:22 AM

I am jealous.

Ik ben jealous.

Sono jealous.

Eu sou jealous.

Soy celoso.

Je suis jaloux.

Ok, I am sure you get the point now.

Posted by: Heather at January 10, 2005 10:38 AM

Remember, girl, you are out there living our life for us, lol. Tell me, did you eat that strawberry?

And what fab job does your friend have in the movies...do I see her name on the screen?

and which male movie star had the smallest feet?

Enquiring minds want to know.
Enjoy yourself.

Posted by: dee at January 10, 2005 11:48 AM

You have arrived, dahlink!! :)

Posted by: Mir at January 10, 2005 12:06 PM

Yes, you may be grinning like a hyperactive monkey, but in what state was that hyperactive monkey born... Mississippi or Alabama?

Have a wonderful time and wow them as we know you will -- we're all thrilled and jealous for you.

By the way, I'm not telling my husband about this trip at all. He's already chewing on his shoes about your getting published and feted and all ;-)


Posted by: Kestralyn at January 10, 2005 12:47 PM

GREEN WITH ENVY - and thrilled for you! BTW - are you going to be in any public "meet Joshilyn" type venues while in L.A.? Because I have two friends out there who would love to meetcha -
Robert Duvall! Good choice.

Posted by: Amy at January 10, 2005 4:51 PM

I'm not sure if Joshilyn will be able to respond any time soon so I'll field that one for you, Amy. She's not doing any sort of public thing yet because the public doesn't know she exists. (Yet!!!) She's still our little secret. This tour is really just for the book sellers industry.

When the book is released in April she will do a public tour. I assure you she'll be posting dates here so everyone will know exactly where she'll be and when.

Posted by: Mr. Husband at January 10, 2005 7:07 PM

Just discovered your blog the other day -- it's already a "must read." The Help Me Save Me Maisy pictures are the most hilarious things I have seen in a while. Can't wait to get more of your humor in "gods."

Have fun in LA. :)

Posted by: Jude at January 11, 2005 6:15 AM

Hope things are going wonderfully out there Pluff...

First class, we knew you were first class all the time. It's about time everyone else did too. I know you probably won't see this until you get back, but know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and have a great time wayyyy over there on the OTHER side of the world...far far away from all things Southern and close to GOD.



Posted by: Gabi at January 11, 2005 6:21 AM