January 1, 2005

Resolution Meme Winner

Amy Wilson, resident of A Very Cold Place, a winner is you! Prize forthcoming via snail-mail.

There was in fact, as Amy guessed, only ONE lie in the meme. She was wrong about which thing was the LIE, but who cares! All that counted was the number, and she guessed ONE, and she wins. The single lie was found in item number three:

"Did anyone close to you give birth?
To a baby? No. But my cousin over in Mississippi expelled a MONKEY."

Really you should have spotted this, guys. Obviously this one is a blatant falsehood because I HAVE no cousins in Mississippi. The monkey was expelled in ALABAMA. *RIMSHOT*

Okay yes. Cheap shot. But two things are at work here.
1) We opened champagne and therefore I am morally obligated to drink it all up because, see, you can't recork it. SO that is absolutely at work, in a roaring-through-the-bloodstream, killing-my-brain way.
2) Up until we opened the champage, I have been at work myself, for about 8 hours today, revising like MADWOMAN...I want to have this book printed and in the mail before I leave on the tenth.

I went for a long skate and while I was flying on endorphins I had a Moment of Clarity. I cannot recommend this. M of C's invariably lead to unpleasantness. In this case, a realization that the animal imagery in this book was TOTALLY off the charts NUTZY-FANDANGOED, and it all has to be SPANKED and made to line up so a reader can, OH I DO NOT KNOW, maybe ACCESS it?

The problem is, the animal imagery does make sense, WELL A LOT OF IT DOES, but the TOTEWM animals are clogged up and drowning in a sea of PLAIN OLD OTHER ANIMALS, killed by my own tendency to THROW IN ANIMALS at random. If goats MEAN something, you can't just hare off and say HE WAS DRUNK AS A GOAT, and NOT mean goat in the way goat has meaning elsewhere. SO. I have 50 million animals in there, and 20 of them are totems, and the rest are just...animals.

SO now I have to find every place where I said something like "Jane had all the artistic sensibility of a banana slug" and change it "No, she did not, she had the artistic sensibility of a handful of blackberries WHICH ARE NOT ANIMALS, BUT RATHER A FRUIT." Like that.

Nother drink? B'lieve I shall.

Posted by joshilyn at January 1, 2005 7:20 PM

But you forgot to mention that I finally beat you on Literati, albeit in the drunkest and longest game known to mankind. So. I shall now have to compare you to fruit in an upcoming entry. You've been warned.

Posted by: Mir at January 1, 2005 11:46 PM

Well, hey, I knew the moneky part was not the lie. LOL.

Posted by: Heather at January 1, 2005 11:48 PM

I'm excited about your book coming out. Mine is coming out on Warner in May (to much less fanfare than yours!) You sound like a really nice person -- love the way you talk about your kids -- and I wish you all the luck in the world. I'm dying to read gods in Alabama, and I might even ask Warner for an ARC if they can spare one. I wrote RAISING HOPE, which you'll find on p. 20 of your Warner spring catalog. Give it a read if you'd like -- I'd love your thoughts. Anyway, Happy New Year, and I hope we have the opportunity to meet in person one day. All best -- Katie Willard
p.s. I'm a life-long New Englander and always loved Southern writing! Unfortunately, I was told by my writing workshop that I was terrible at writing Southern dialect. So, alas, my book is set up here in the cold Northeast where people, if they speak at all, prefer not to speak in lovely, molasses-sticky Southern metaphors.

Posted by: katie willard at January 2, 2005 12:12 AM

Well, I'm certainly relieved that your M of C wasn't tainted by another crash and skid off the ice into a pile of...um...well, you know.
P.S. On behalf of artistic sensibility challenged blackberries everywhere, may I just say Yum. Bring on the cream! :P

Posted by: David at January 2, 2005 6:09 PM

I WIN!! I WIN!! WHOOOPEEE!!! Happy New Year to ME!

Posted by: Amy at January 2, 2005 8:39 PM

Can you send me Katie Willard's e-mail address? I just read her book and want to contact her. I've lost Katie's e-mail address. She's a relative by marriage (her sister-in-law is my niece, but my niece is unreachable right now. Thanks.

Glenda Foust
Arlington, VA

Posted by: Glenda Foust at July 5, 2005 1:54 PM