December 22, 2004


I am UNDER ATTACK! Under ATTACK, I say! Some stupid virus searches google for vulnerable code and then attacks PHP sites, and now my site keeps going down and reverting and when it came back up yesterday the attack-worm had changed EVERY ' and " to a ? so the whole site looks like it was designed by CRACKSMOKING PUNCUATION ANARCHISTS.

You can't get the virus by VISITING the site though, and my personal computer is not infected -- it's a virus that attacks the saved uploaded files on the web. Weird.
And it isn’t the blameless lambs at dot easy…I hereby apologize to my web hosts for having moderately satisfying fantasies about eating them...They are trying to fix it from their end and I am supposed to upload some HTML but getting it patched is beyond both my ken and Scott’s. SO it WILL be fixed soon….we hope. We just are not sure HOW. Meanwhile I am archiving all blog entries on my hard drive so I can stick them back up if they get eaten, and I am NOT going to spend five hours fixing catagories until I can actually SAVE RELIABLY.

I want to tell you about Sam’s letter to Santa but I already blogged it ONCE and then the WORM ate it and so trying to tell it NOW I keep trying to remember how I told it before instead of just TELLING it, BAH! But anyway, here it is:

Sam brought me his letter to Santa the other day, and the words “Gameboy Advance” appeared at least three times and then he mentioned some MASK OF LIGHT Leggo set he wants and at the end he wrote, “And I want the gift of the Holy Spirit.”

So he hands it to me and I read it and when I get to the end I look down at him and he says in THE most BUTT-kissing little PIOUS voice, I mean DRIPPING SMARM AND UNCTIOUS SAINTLINESS, “And Mom, if Santa can only bring me ONE THING…I hope it’s the Holy Spirit.”

And the Oscar goes to…me, for nodding calmly and saying, “I better go mail this,” before turning tail and running for my office where, once the doors were safely shut, I fell howling to the floor and rolled and WEPT with silent laughter.

But that is what seven-years-old is like. Seven is Political. Two is different Two works like this:

My dad loves this weird fruit salad with coconut and sour cream in it, and I made the mistake of giving some to Maisy for breakfast.

She put a bite in and then spewed it back all over the table while her mouth contorted into a rictus of AGONIZED DISBELIEF. She had the same expression you might make if a diseased RAT had just licked your tongue. As soon as she had cleared the last offending molecule from her mouth she lowered her eyebrows thunderously and said, “That’s GWOSS!”

So I gave her waffles, and she sucked them down in a sugar-syrup ecstacy and I said, “Are the waffles gwoss?” and she said, “Oh no! The Wapples are HAPPY!”

See, no guile…yet.

IN OTHER NEWS -- Just after Christmas there will be a DRAWING! TRA LA! ARCs will be involved. Stay tuned!

Posted by joshilyn at December 22, 2004 6:20 AM

I know what I want for alert system so that everytime joshilyn posts I can read each blog as soon as it leaves her hot little fingertips then i can laugh and cry, and pee my pants, and spew my coffee....and know that josh will always be able to bring a sparkle to my eye, a laugh to my belly, and a smile to my heart....thanks Joshilyn, and Merry Merry Christmas.

Posted by: Gabi at December 22, 2004 9:19 AM

Want to see if Sam really gets the Holy Spirit? Make sure there's nothing for him under the tree on Christmas morning, then gauge his reaction.

Owen informed me yesterday that if Santa puts him on the naughty list and doesn't bring him his presents: "I will be VEWY ANGWY at Santa! And I will HIT him!"

Yes, this is the right attitude, son. I think you have grasped the meaning of Christmas. Peace on Earth and pain to Santa. Excellent.

Posted by: Amy at December 22, 2004 10:35 AM

I hope I get some Happy Wapples for Christmas this year.

Posted by: Mir at December 22, 2004 11:02 AM

You mean, there is a chance I oculd read the ARC!!?? Count me in this drawing thing!

Posted by: Heather at December 22, 2004 11:34 AM

I'm with Sam. If I had to choose between winning the ARC and receiving the Holy Spirit for Christmas -- Of course, I would choose the Holy Spirit. (Are you listening up there? I deserve that ARC!).

Posted by: KarenB at December 22, 2004 4:46 PM

I could get all geek-o-riffic on you and say that there are a couple of short SQL statements that could be dropped on your blog database that will magically fix what ails yer posts... but I'm afraid to get involved with that is obviously a tiff between you and the Gods of the Intarweb. My intervention would distract their bile and anger from your blog to mine, and I am simply too much of a craven nerd to risk it. :)

I offer you, instead, my heartfelt condolences. :)

Posted by: Peter B. at December 22, 2004 6:08 PM