November 12, 2004

Tastes Like Teen Spirit. And Chicken.

Yesterday? I ate the whole world. There is now nothing but a single lonely sandwich, orbiting the spot where the sun used to be. Before I ate it.

YESTERDAY WAS A SOMEWHAT STRESSFUL DAY, up until I ate it. I ate the day just after an entire sack of Michael Season’s Smoky BBQ Soy Protein Chips and just before I ate FRANCE. France was good. I had it with a Béchamel sauce.

Today I am back on my regularly scheduled pre-emptive strike Holiday diet, and I am sticking to it and relaxed and joyous because, oh my friends and oh my foes, THE NOVEL IS DONE! THE! NOVEL! IS! DONE! I am ABOUT to trit-trot happily off and stick it in the mail.

I am so SMUG and PLEASED that I should probably be beaten like naughty eggs. BUT COME ON! I can have fifteen minutes of smug pleasedness, can’t I? Can’t I PLEASE?

Because really? I have never written a novel while trying to edit and promote the previous novel and with an ACTUAL CONTRACTUAL deadline standing behind me. An anthropomorphized, vicious deadline that loomed over my shoulder as I tried to work, extending its big round head on a long STRETCHABLE neck so it could come over my shoulder and turn around block my view of my monitor and stare me in the eyeballs and grin at me with great big gleaming teeth, you know the kind, LAWYERLY teeth, perfectly square and white, teeth that look like Chiclets, so you KNOW they have to be Porcelain veneers, and say, “I am a contractual deadline. I am zooming toward you in the form of a date. I wonder if you will make it. A REAL writer would make it, you know. JOYCE CAROL OATES? She would TOTALLY make it, and um, HER book would be GOOD.”

And today? This morning? I DID make it. SO THERE, DEADLINE. Stick that in your teeth like an unsightly chunk of spinach and then go grin at someone ELSE. And PS? I just finished reading the book, my last once-over before off it goes…and I LIKE it. In fact, excuse me, but I LOVE it. I do! I love it! Which is good, considering I’ve just spent the better part of fifteen months of my life on it. SO THERE, DEADLINE. And I hope that news is sweet enough to give you a cavity.

It certainly tastes that way to me.

Posted by joshilyn at November 12, 2004 10:27 AM

YAY! Another thing to look forward to! Congrats!

Posted by: DLFP at November 12, 2004 10:46 AM

YIPEE!! Congratulations! I always knew you would make it. You may now be smug. And P.S.? Gimmee, gimmee, gimee! I can be patient no longer.

Posted by: Amy at November 12, 2004 12:35 PM

Hooah! Congrats Joshlyn! :) woo hoo!

Posted by: Klint at November 12, 2004 12:55 PM

ahh! typo! I should have hit preview. my bad my bad. OMG I'm going to die! *earth swallow me whole now please* (very embarassing esp. since I just completed a major final proofreading book assignment this Wednesday with NOAA)
ugh ugh ugh.

*Ahem* -thumbs up Joshilyn!- :)

Posted by: Klint at November 12, 2004 1:03 PM

Well. I, for one, believe all your effort were worth it - IF ONLY for the line, "I should probably be beaten like naughty eggs."
I shall use that one today.
Oh yeah, the book. That's prolly good too.
Congrats, dear.

Posted by: Kira at November 12, 2004 1:08 PM

Happy Dance!!!

Man, that's really great. Even if you did have to eat France to get here.

Only, NOW where am I gonna live? :P

Posted by: ViVi at November 12, 2004 1:25 PM

See, now, I will have to take this as a rare opportunity to disagree with Kira. It was not the naughty eggs, but the eating of France with Bechamel that got me....

But yes, the book, that's also quite nice! Yay!

Posted by: Mir at November 12, 2004 2:41 PM


And ViVi, Sorry about eating your adopted-native soil and all. You can live on the sad, orbiting sandwich though.

Posted by: Joshilyn at November 12, 2004 4:08 PM

Awesome, girl! WhoooHoooo! I'd dance on my chair, but it seems someone ate it. CONGRATS!

Posted by: AGK at November 13, 2004 7:59 AM

Wah, I'm late. Preen smugly, OH GREAT ONE, for verily, THOU HAST FINISHED IT! Congrats, Cheers, Flowers at your feet! (If I suck up too hard, just tell me.)

Posted by: David at November 15, 2004 6:12 PM