September 25, 2004


A certain friend of mine (who shall remain mercifully nameless) is trying to outgeek me. What can I do but put on a pleated Kirsten Dunst-esque flippy skirt and try to make my hair be bouncy as I snarl, BRING IT ON.

Between you and me? She hasn't a prayer.

This whole thing got started because she found out my DEEP DARK LEET SECRET. Which is this. *cough* My husband and I have been known to enjoy an online game or two. So. She tried to counter my fondness for Ultima and Neverwinter Nights with a judcious application of MAGIC THE GATHERING ONLINE geek-goddess smackdown.

Which was, I must admit, a helluvva good opener.

At that point, I tried to give her a way out. I told her not to EVEN start with me, because my husband and I had geek cards as yet undreamed of, as yet unplayed. WHOLE CELLARS FULL. But alas, she would not listen. And lo, she did indeed start with me. She brought forth a pretty tame opener, a LORD OF THE RINGS movie addiction. Which, HELLO, with Orlando Bloom playing Legolas, show me one red blooded American girl who DOESN'T secretly like elves at this point? You can't.

In response to this, allow me to lay before you a few -- JUST A FEW, mind you -- of the astonishing array of Geek Cred Cards I keep in my hip-pocket.

You want Lord of the Rings? I will GIVE you Lord of the Rings. I am currently reading the ENTIRE SERIES out loud to my son. He enjoys it, sure, but I AM SECRETLY NOT READING IT BECAUSE HE ENJOYS IT. He also, after all, enjoys Magic Treehouse. *shudder* I am reading it out loud because *I* enjoy it. In fact this is maybe the 5th time I have made my way through the books, starting with The Hobbit and going all the way through to Return of the King.

I have ALSO read EVERY CONAN BOOK EVER WRITTEN, I have been dear friends with Fafhrd AND the Grey Mouser AND the Stainless Steel Rat. I've been to GEN CON four times, though not, I hasten to insert, in costume. I do have my limits.

I STILL have a POST CARD from Vonda N McIntyre that she wrote to me over TWENTY YEARS AGO in response to my RABID RAVING FAN LETTER about how Dream Snake CHANGED MY LIFE. AND AND AND!! My first crush EVER was on SPOCK, my second was on LURCH, my THIRD was on (no SERIOUSLY, this is TRUE) THE CONSTELLATION ORION. To top it off? AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, I had actual teen love fanatasies about kissing Elric of Melnibone on his PALE! CRUEL! MOUTH!

Lord of the Rings? PAH! Come back when you can say you've read....AND ENJOYED...The Silmarillian.

And who knows. Maybe she has a counter for all this. MAYBE. I am doubtful. I mean, how do you outgeek a crush on a GROUPING OF STARS? But maybe she does. If so, I will shamelessly play my BROTHER card, because my BROTHER is the tru-geek equivalent of a ROCK STAR. Just being RELATED to him gives me like a +7 bonus to any geek defense roll I have to make. PS if you understood that last sentence? You're a geek too. *grin*

I'll tell you about my brother tomorrow.

Posted by joshilyn at September 25, 2004 8:30 AM

Humm... Don't you think it best to leave the geekness in the closet? At least you are comfortable about it. I choose to remain reclusive.

Posted by: Joe at September 25, 2004 10:19 AM

Nahhhh -- I kept a TIGHT LID on it back in High School of course because I enjoyed, you know, DATING. So I kept my 12 sided dice hidden under the floor and had ONE friend that secretly indulged in that stuff with me and we had code words for it, that's how horrified we were that someone might FIND OUT WE WEREN'T COOL. (memo to adolescent self: YOU SHOULD HAVE RELAXED. I THINK THEY KNEW. K THANKS.)

But at THIS point? Having married one of the world's foremost comic book nerds? I'm shameless--even proud--of my geek-girl roots. Plus, you know, Michael Chabon has made it all a teeny bit retro cool. GOD BLESS HIM.

Posted by: joshilyn at September 25, 2004 10:59 AM

Hmmm, how many bonus geek points do I get for having dated one of the earliest WotC employees for about half a year many moons ago?

And, regardless, I see your Conan books and raise you long nights in college spent MUDing at 2400 baud (which we thought was screaming fast, back then) instead of doing my work. Had to top out my levels and slay the white witch, ya know. My character? Was named Tesseract. *geek*

But I don't think I can top the crush on a constellation.

Posted by: Mir at September 25, 2004 11:16 AM

ROTF....... you, Joss, a geek? Wait til you download the StarTreking song and put it on a CD before you talk to me about being a geek.

Posted by: Judi at September 25, 2004 11:47 AM

Never had a crush on a constellation, but I did read LOtR three times in the 6th grade! Does that at least get me in the running? :)

Posted by: Jensgalore at September 26, 2004 10:49 PM

Lessee, text-based gaming back in the day, Speed Racer crush (though I really loved his brother Rex, otherwise known as Racer X, but I felt at the age of fourteen that OURLOVEWASSOMAYDECEMBEROMG!11one!!!) I'd like to add that I saw SR on its first run on TV at the age of seven. In Japanese. In Japan.

Not only Orion have I loved, but his little dog too, and oh! Comets Hayakutaki and Hale-Bopp almost seduced me into leaving my husband. He would have named my 4.5" reflector as co-respondant.

My older brother also warped my brain with SF, but I was ready and willing to go since Star Trek was canceled and all I had were a few summer reruns to look forward to. (Martian Chronicles are SFLit. And Dune was da bomb.)

As far as current geekdom goes, YOU HAVE A BLOG.

Posted by: jill at September 27, 2004 6:03 PM

Is it really geeky if all you do is play a pretty music and decorate houses? Not if it's done with style, plus you make fun of the other geeks.

Besides, real geeks play tamers.


Posted by: DLFP at September 29, 2004 5:29 PM