September 16, 2004

My Co-Op and the TMJ

Kimberly wanted to know the OTHER two most embarrassing things I ever said. HMMMMM, um no, thank you for playing. It would have been BETTER to apply a liberal measure of tequila before dropping an OH SO CASUAL request for that information. Because without 2.5 margaritas the second worst will NOT be repeated and it would take a minimum of 4 TOP SHELFERS to pry the WORST one out.

Today I had NO power most of the afternoon. THANKS, IVAN! THANKS! I now know why they call you a tropical DEPRESSION, you great big rainy DRAG. It doesn’t help that our power company is a TINY LITTLE CO-OP. Every year we get a cheerful little check for five dollars from them that says HERE IS YOUR SHARE! BECAUSE WE ARE A CO-OP! AND WE CARE AND STUFF! ABOUT! YOU! THE! SPECIAL! PERSON!

Ugh. I feel like I get power from a hairy-legged generator in a long velveteen dirndle skirt and Birkinstocks. I just don’t think I should be dependent on a CO-OP for electricity. Co-ops are more like where you get MACROBIOTIC VEGETABLES. Especially OURS -- Our little co-op is VERY EMOTIONALLY SENSITIVE. If you LOOK at it funny it gets a hurt feeling and blacks out 20 blocks. How I long to be powered by a monstrously large corporate tyrant who exploits the proletariat and sees me as nothing more than an insignificant number on a spread sheet but that, oh, I don’t know, KEEPS THE POWER ON.

BAH. I am actually just irked because I missed Jeopardy, which UPSETTING TO ME.
Beautiful Maisy who is barely two and I watch Jeopardy EVERY DAY and whenever I answer the question (with a question, natch) Maisy answers me in this VERY serious tone. It goes like this:

Me: What is Madagascar?
Maisy: I don’t know.
Me: Who is Henry James?
Maisy: I don’t know.
Me: What is the Edsel?
Maisy: Mommy. I don’t know.

Seriously. She does that for a solid half hour.

It was especially irksome to miss it TODAY because I have gotten REALLY hooked on watching the Tiny Mormon Juggernaut clean house. I LOVE that small, smart man. He knows everything and he is so SOOTHING and CALM. If I was on Jeopardy I would be SUCH a spasm.

The other day the question was something like “What famous magician and writer had their famous friendship spoiled by their interactions with a medium.”

Me: WHO IS HOUDINI AND THAT WRITER GUY WHO BELIEVED IN FAIRIES YOU KNOW THE ONE DARNIT THE ONE THAT WROTE SHERLOCK HOLMES, UM UM WHO IS HOUDINI AND THAT GUY???
Maisy: I don’t know
ME: GAH IT WAS ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE!!!!! I MEAN WHO IS ARTHUR CONON DOYLE AND PS ALEC YOU ARE SO SMOKIN' HOT IN A SMARTYPANTS OLD GUY WAY.

And that was just me playing IN MY OFFICE. I would probably stroke out if I tried to play on ACTUAL TV.

Someone hit the comments and tell me what happened with the TMJ. Because the web spoilers--- Let me pause here to pre-emptively answer the obvious questions: Yes. OKAY??? Yes. As a matter of fact I DO crawl the web seeking JEOPARDY spoilers. AND YES. THAT IS INDEED SAD --- Anyway, the SPOILERS say he is GOING TO LOSE THIS WEEK AND I IF I MISSED IT I WILL BE SO MADDDDDDD. Did I miss it??? GAH. I will JUST die. If I missed it, please tell me WHO possibly beat him and what Final Jeopardy was and what HAPPENED. WAS IT THE MYTHICAL SHARON???? FROM VENTURA??

Posted by joshilyn at September 16, 2004 6:36 PM
Comments

I don't think you missed it! What I heard (assuming it's even TRUE) is that he lost in a show that was taped last Wednesday that marked his 75th appearance. As of last night, he was only on his forty-something-th appearance (48? 47? I can't remember.) So Ivan may be terrible, wretched and depressing, but I don't think he's *that* evil.

Posted by: Aimee at September 16, 2004 7:10 PM

Yea, loses on number 75. I read that he has a computer chip in his head and it is connected to Google and he lost b/c when the chipped searched it got "404 Error." But that was a fake news site. :o)

Posted by: Heather at September 16, 2004 11:47 PM

I hanen't been to the dot com site. Becky said it was porno. You can go if you want!!!!

Gerberas are my fave too. :o)

Posted by: Heather at September 19, 2004 8:52 AM

Yarrrr today is tawk like a pirate daaay! Yarrr..

Powerrrr co-oppp that sounds coo-ewl.

And I had no sightens that there be spoilers for JeopArdeee. That shakes my bones it does..

Yarrr.

Posted by: Klint at September 19, 2004 1:14 PM