September 10, 2004

1.5 Sincere Thank You Notes (and then some insincere ones)

1) THANKS COMMENTERS! I am very pleased to have GUILTED 17 PEOPLE into saying nice things to me!
Tomorrow I am planning to post about how bad I feel that I do not send all the bloggers I really like a pony! No, seriously, thanks really for all the comments and delurking. It was a nice side-effect to admitting I am a TACO BELL SUPREME WITH LETTUCE AND GRADE A SOUR CREAM DORK-RITO.

2) THANKS scientists who are working so hard to CLONE. It’s because of you that the ad for TANK THE PONY has a quantity field and an ADD TO CART button. Because of YOUR top secret boundary pushing cloning labs (go 70 miles below the earth’s crust and then take a left off the main hallway of the area 54 alien vivisection rooms) I can apparently add ten or even fifty Tank the Ponies to my cart!

3) THANKS porn industry! I sleep easier knowing that IF you are a 19 year old Asian girl, and IF last night you had a naked slumber party bubble bath with your hot young teen Asian girlfriends, and IF you took a lot of pics or even better, video'd it, and I MISSED THE WHOLE THING, you will be UNABLE TO GO ON until you send me an email notification and a link. Also thanks to my friend google, because I know you will send everyone who does a search for HOT NAKED TEEN ASIAN BUBBLE BATH straight to this blog now. And THAT will make for some interesting comments!

4) THANKS spam spiders! Thanks for making WISE OBSERVATIONS (crafted from clichés and quotes from literature that falls within the public domain) all over my blog! One clever spam spider (who was placing an ad for a site that allows you to play Texas Holdum) had a BRILLIANT INSIGHT!
Said the spider: We must not believe the many, who say that only free people ought to be educated, but we should rather believe the philosophers who say that only the educated are free.”
Which is pithy and deep and all, but very hard to apply to a post about converting to the South Beach Diet as if it were a cult. Perhaps the spider meant to say, “The fat free people need to be educated, as only the educated are free from processed sugars.”

5) THANKS favorite Christian dollar store, for stocking PACKS AND PACKS and PACKS AND PACKS of SUPER CHEAP Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. Because we do not have NEARLY enough Yu-Gu-Oh! cards here, oh my NO!

DIGRESSION: The ones the dollar store had were actually these WEIRD CARDS from THAILAND chock full of rare and MONSTROUSLY POWERFUL blue eyes dragons of various shiningnesses and double attack mode whatnot-ery and the text says things like "Here is the dragon of so many power, to make play of him is a destruction over the enemy who have assaulting you with trap.” So, okay, sincere thanks Christian dollar store, because Scott and I really like to lie around when small people who take Yu-Gi-Oh! VERY seriously are not present, and read these descriptions out loud to each other and giggle until our sodas come out our noses.

Posted by joshilyn at September 10, 2004 9:38 AM

Cracking up over the cards. These are at the Christian dollar store? LOL! Do they quote revelation too?

Posted by: Heather at September 10, 2004 10:40 AM

There is such a thing as a Christian Dollar Store? Does that mean it's like a regular Dollar Tree, only without the hoochie-mama plastic dolls in high heels wearing bikinis?

Posted by: Mir at September 10, 2004 6:17 PM

That is so bizarre that they were at a Christian Dollar Store. I'm almost shocked.

Posted by: Tiff at September 11, 2004 12:04 PM