September 3, 2004

The Unbearable Loveness of MEing

Hi! Did I mention I completed the draft? *PREEEEEEEEEN* And contrary to what Joe might be suspecting in comments, it has not soothed the savage loon in me. IN FACT I think it shot my mental illness number SKY HIGH.

Oh, yeah. For two days now I have been UNENDURABLE. I have pranced around singing odes to my fabulousness and then showing my family my back, indicating a righteous amount of self-adoration via Fonzie make-out hands. Really, I need to be beaten. My husband and I have had 9 ZILLION variations on this conversation:

Me: Do you know who is GREAT?

Scott: Roosevelt? (He has been reading this biography of Theodore Roosevelt and he is ALL ABOUT Teddy now. I am beginning to suspect Teddy is the new Hoover Dam.)

Me: NO. Not TEDDY ROOSEVELT. *blowing a raspberry in Teddy’s general direction* I meant, who is really REALLY VERY great???

Scott: Ghandi?

Me: NO! That’s RIDICULOUS. Ghandi! FA! I am asking you, SERIOUSLY, Who is SUPREMELY VERY ASTOUNDINGTLY GREAT?

Scott: Hmmm….Is it you?

Me: *looking down at my toes with shy modesty* Why, yes. Yes it is.

Luckily, I am a LEETLE more sane today. Two things have shot enough holes in my balloon for me to come down to a bearable level.

1) Lily James read my first chapter – she’s my BEST critic. Nothing gets past her and she’s dead honest and articulate and solution oriented. ANYWAY. I was convinced this first chapter was NOTE PERFECT and then BAH! She found a trouble spot in it. Not a HUGE one, but a real one and I went and looked at it, and dern it, SHE WAS RIGHT. So it reminded me that YES I have a DRAFT but a DRAFT is not a book and I need to SHUT UP and get to work, taking comfort in the fact that NOW I am to the part that flips my cookie. (I love revising, hate drafting.)

2) Last week, Brenda at church asked me to lead one of the sessions at my church’s women’s retreat in October. Now, this is VERY flattering, and I said yes but...Hmm. Okay. Here’s the truth. I went to the first meeting about the retreat and the other session leaders are people that I think of as spiritually mature. Admirable, even. I think of myself spiritually as more like...Well hmm. Okay. THis winter my son took swimming lessons? He got to this point where he could generally get across the pool without drowning, but his methodology and form left QUITE A BIT TO BE DESIRED. He looked like a little frog with epilepsy, spasm-ing and convulsing across in his cheerful yet slow and herky-jerky way. That’s me in the Godwaters.

SO now I can at least SEE earth from where I sit and I am no longer convinced that I would win Miss Congeniality in a pageant that also had Anwar Sadat in it. By tomorrow I will be all the way back to my usual mental illness number of about 30, and from there I’ll be determining the entirety of my self worth on solid, tangible things. Like, for example, my butt-size and how clean the floor around my toilets is. Or is NOT, as the case may be.

Posted by joshilyn at September 3, 2004 11:26 AM
Comments

YAY congrats on drafting the whole book!!
and.. best wishes and joy on a good happy happy revising. :)

EEEEE!! :)

Posted by: Klint at September 3, 2004 12:24 PM

Well, at least I wished you more sanity! OH... and I am famous now, I made it into your blog! *does happy dance* At least Scott loves you, even when you are sick with self-envy. Perhaps the higher mental illness number is better than the lower one, I mean, how clean the floor around the toilet? Whatever floats your boat. I just enjoy reading this blog, thanks for the near daily entertainment!

Posted by: Joe at September 3, 2004 4:43 PM

Hun, that is All of us in Godwaters. If teaching, leading, learning required perfect grace, NO ONE COULD DO IT.

Posted by: Heather at September 3, 2004 4:45 PM

a frog in the Godwaters--i love that.
maybe one day we can all be swans (this isn't for a biology grade, right?)

Posted by: Dana at September 4, 2004 8:17 PM

Hey, Where's my copy of the draft? Congratulations! That is very great.

Posted by: julie at September 5, 2004 1:52 AM

I cna never go out of town again. I've missed a whole week of news!

Posted by: julie at September 5, 2004 1:55 AM

Grats! You are great. But then so is Roosevelt. I read that book too! Thought...
YOU+ROOSEVELT=Super GREAT. Don't dismiss it out of hand...you could write the story of when Roosevelt met Ghandi.

Posted by: DLFP at September 7, 2004 1:55 PM

Do the non-gamers here get the fact that why you propose to me more humble the phrase, "Luckily, I am a LEETLE more sane today." includes the terminology LEET, which is a gamer reference for someone really, super great?

Posted by: Shawn B. at September 8, 2004 9:33 AM

Pardon my typos, even after a quick preview. Multi-tasking at work makes you appear dumb.

Posted by: Shawn B at September 8, 2004 9:34 AM

If I hear that Julie gets a draft and I do not, you will be very sorry! (ok, not really, I'll still love you and think you are VERY GREAT - ghandi who?- but I'll be sad. And you are far too great to allow that, right? HMMMMMM?)

Posted by: Amy at September 8, 2004 10:25 PM