August 15, 2004

Sunday School

Every week, my son shows up post Sunday School with a rag-tag assortment of...well... crap. There is usually some sort of object like a styrofoam coffee cup that's been chewed into four parts and then stapled back together, and it is attached to various bits of string and damp ribbon and paper that is attached to other glitter strewn trash bits via brads and tape and spittle.

There is never any way for me to decipher what this crap-wad is supposed to be, unless I look at the crafts in the hands of the other children. They will have the same materials assembled into a paper candle, or a pipe cleaner man in a tissue paper robe, or a fish...and then my son bounds out the door with his art project looking like it has been chewed by rabid squirrels, dripping leprous chunks of itself as he yells joyously LOOK LOOK THIS IS THE BOAT THEY WERE FISHING IN BUT THEN THEY DIDN'T GET ANY FISH TIL JESUS CAME AND SAID TO FISH ON THE OTHER SIDE.

Okay, so, he isn't very crafty, my son. He has no patience for glueing macaroni into the shape of the cross. BUT WHO CARES. As long as he can explain to us how the wad of crap relates to the lesson, that's the main thing. And up until this week, he absolutely could. EVery time.

But today's crap-wad was made out a clothespin, several mangled coffee filters, and an obscene amount of paste. He had used enough paste to service all of Guam's modest paste needs for a week. My husband questioned him about the object until it was firmly established that it was meant to be a dove.

Scott: Oh! Is that the dove of peace?
Sam: No. The other kids made the dove of peace. I made the Dove of the ARMY. He has MISSILES.

OKAY THEN! I can't wait for next week, when he makes the Vampiric Fanged Lamb of Merciless Carnage!

Posted by joshilyn at August 15, 2004 1:10 PM

--the Vampiric Fanged Lamb of Merciless Carnage--

I'll suggest that to our children's minister. ;o)

Posted by: Heather at August 15, 2004 3:04 PM

Ooooooohhhh, I think your son and my son would get along just fine. I once endured an entire ride home from church to the earnest diatribe of why Spiderman was cooler than Jesus because if Jesus had had webs he coulda swung his way right offa the cross. ;)

Posted by: Mir at August 15, 2004 5:05 PM

Other than the fact I should be in bed. I had to say I laughed harder at this blog than should be allowed at almost 3 a.m. I have three boys, and aunholy amount of ''creations'' and oh my stars that whole temperpedic thing would have be me, only it would have been in stereo as the 3 and 5 year old discussed it (loudly, no less). Thanks for the laughs. :)

Posted by: Cheri at August 17, 2004 3:48 AM

ROFLOL My boys would LOVE the dove of the Army! ROFLOL ;-)

Posted by: Stacey at August 17, 2004 7:15 AM

*falls out of chair laughing* CAN'T. BREATHE. TOO. FUNNY. No WONDER everyone was linking to this blog..... hahahaha. I am totally cracking up here. Can we ... like, be friends? LOL

Posted by: Sara at August 17, 2004 10:28 AM

Note to self: go to the bathroom before reading this blog again! Hubby and I are both howling with laughter! We just read this entry AND the pear tree episode. Having just lost 1/3 of our 18-year-old Bradford pear into the neighbor's driveway, we're thinking seriously now of hiring a hit man for the remainder before it has time to strike again. Thanks for the laughs!!!

Posted by: Carolyn Morrison at August 17, 2004 11:58 PM

That is hysterical!! I had to come back and reread this post b/c it made me laugh! :-)

Posted by: stephanie at August 18, 2004 10:43 PM