August 9, 2004

Segues Need Not Apply

Here is a list of things said out loud by actual people on my vacation. Sadly, almost ALL of these people are related to me by blood:

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BOYS AND GIRLS
Scene: Erin, a 10 year old girl who is playing a SIMs type Nintendo Game where she is a rock star, is talking to my 7 year old son. Sam

Erin: I am playing a CONCERT now Sam so DO NOT TALK TO ME! If you distract me, you KNOW what will happen.
Sam: DEATH??!?!??!?
Erin: Um no, HELLO! I won't get PAID?

OUR COLLECTIVE FAMILIAL MATURITY LEVEL
Scene: Entire family is sitting around the den talking when Erin walks through staring down at her Gameboy.

Erin: I have a monkey butler!
Everyone else: (not hearing the "ler" part) BA HAHAHAHHAHA

WINNING LINE:
Scene: Anonymous relative is sprawled in post-feast abandon on the sofa

Anonymous Relative: I am so lazy I almost wish I had a colostomy bag.

I have no response to that.

Above is the world's most scattered blog entry. It should get a prize. The prize should be LITHIUM. I have terminal deadline horror.

Now--- Picture me standing on a hill with a hoop skirt on, the sun is setting behind me, and I have just finished yacking up a radish. I lift my fist to the heavens and say AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, I WILL COMPLETE THE DRAFT OF CHAPTER 13 BY TOMORROW AT 1:45 PM.

Tune in at 2:00 to see if I am a big fat hoop-skirted liar!

Posted by joshilyn at August 9, 2004 6:49 PM
Comments

I KNOW you are a big fat hoop-skirted liar, because you told ME you would finish this weekend. Radish, fist to the heavens, God as your witness...
Hmmm? did you not?

Posted by: Kira at August 9, 2004 7:20 PM

OKAY BUT

that was before I realized 11 and 12 were actually ONE chapter, so 11-12 is now 11, and the 13 I wrote over the weekend is now the NEW 12, and the NEW 13 I have to finish TOMORROW is the back third of the old 12 plus an all new third. I have to write the third third of the new 13 AND I VOW I SHALL. And all before 1:45.

IF YOU FOLLOWED THAT

J

Posted by: Joshilyn at August 9, 2004 8:00 PM