July 12, 2004

Death on Wheels

The second of my three daily dose blogs is KiWords. Can't not read KiWords. It’s the first blog I check in the morning, even before Chez Miscarriage. I can’t read Chez Miscarriage before my second cuppa. KiWords is softer---it's a love letter to motherhood. A love letter written by a hip chick with a great sense of humor and a Mental Illness Number that is similar to mine. Like today’s entry. The purse. Mentally Ill, obviously, but not DANGEROUSLY so.

I bring it up because today she talks about rollerblading, and I was commenting on her blog and my comment kept growing and growing until finally I said FUGGETIT and came over to here to write about rollerblading myself. WHY NOT. All the cool kids are doing it.

I USED TO ROLLERBLADE! I had hot pink and lime green skates and some of those bicycle shorts that are like Canadian Geese in their migratory habits except the geese go inexorably to Canada and the shorts only go to one’s buttcrack. But inexorably. So.

I had a lime green helmet that made my skin look like CHEESE! And I had SAFETY PADS! I had all the pads there were. Knee, wrist, I even had ELBOW pads. I have long skinny arms and long skinny legs and with the bulging round knob of pad on each joint I looked like a bug.

I had them all because I am essentially graceless. Kira says there’s this one curve she can’t take so she CHOOSES to bottom out on the soft grass. Heh. For me, bottoming out was not a choice. I fell over all the time into the soft grass or the soft asphalt or the soft approaching traffic. Whatever was handy. It finally occurred to me that, yes, I WAS going to die if I kept it up. SO now I have a pair of "outdoor skates." They do not go half as fast and HELLO no one but a five year old wears OUTDOOR SKATES. Oh well, at least mine are lace-ups and do not clip onto my shoes. I say this to comfort myself but I KNOW, okay. I might as well tattoo SUPREME DORK on my forehead.

Still---Better dorky than dead. Anyone who thinks bottoming out in the soft grass is a CHOICE is probably
1) not me
2) able to survive rollerblading and
3) a pretty good dancer!

Posted by joshilyn at July 12, 2004 8:00 AM

I am, as suspected, not you AND a pretty good dancer. Can't say about the better than you at rollerblading thing. You should COME HERE and bring your OUTDOOR SKATES and I will NOT LAUGH and we'll go try to KILL OURSELVES!
But in a fun sort of way.

Posted by: Kira at July 12, 2004 7:58 PM

btw, there's me *blush* and Chez Miscarriage - who's your third must-read-blog?

Posted by: Kira at July 12, 2004 7:59 PM