July 7, 2004

'ALLO! I am INIGO MONTOYA

Last night Scott and I took an entire gaggle of small boychildren to see Spiderman II. I am married to one of the nation's foremost comic book geeks, so Scott was almost as excited as the young burgeoning piles of manhood who sat in the back of the van exuding such thick clouds of immature testosterone that I had to ride with my head out the window like a golden retriever to try and get a clean breath.

Scott was almost beside himself with excitement. On the way to the movie theatre we had this conversation:

Scott: Spiderman 2 is the best super hero movie that will ever be made.
Me: How can you say that? You have not even seen it.
Scott: (in the tone one might use to explain to a drooling moron that WATER is WET) Honey... Spiderman 2 has Doctor Octopus.

CONS:
1)There is one scene where Sam Raimi had an evil dead flashback and forgot he was directing a summer action flick. It was a little....too. Not violent...too INTENSE. In a horror way. The boys seemed unfazed but I worried for their developing brains. Once that scene was over, Raimi kinda got it together and kept the extreme levels of violence ridiculously cartoony and unreal, JUST HOW I LIKE IT.

2) At one point an actor says, VERY SERIOUSLY "You killed my father." And of course IMMEDIATELY, and in PERFECT UNISON, Scott and I called out "PREPARE TO DIE." It was a response so involuntary it was pretty much Pavlovian---That line is OWNED RE-INVENTED and PATENTED by Mandy Patinkin and NO ONE ELSE SHOULD EVER SAY IT.

3) Toby experiences moderate levels of Angst. I think Toby is a very fine actor, and if one must do angst, he does it well, but I prefer not to have any. Just NOT INTERESTED. I want Spiderman to save banks and old ladies while being unable to deliver pizza or make an 8 o'clock curtain. THAT IS WHAT WE LIKE. I don't want him to have a psychosomatic illness. I wanted to say, "OH COME ON, Run along and shoot webs and bounce off cars and stop the city from blowing up and kiss that cute Dunst girl. Leave the mental problems to Batman. KTHANXDRIVETHROUGH."

PROS:
1)All Sam Raimi's PET ACTORS cameo. HELLO TED/JOXXER! GOOD TA SEE YA! HELLO BRUCE! AGING WELL, BRUCE! STILL HOT, BRUCE! SMOKIN'!

2) EVERYTHING ELSE.

Trivia: The guy who plays Doc Ock was Tevya in Fiddler on Broadway. And a darn good one. How is that for RANGE?

Posted by joshilyn at July 7, 2004 9:36 AM
Comments

*Taking a break from my busy comic convention tour schedule*

OK, for the record, what I said was, "This will be the best Spider-Man movie ever." Dr. Octopus is the quintessential villain for Spidy. It just doesn’t get any better than that. Now, there might be a better superhero movie at some point. In fact, there might even...

- hold on a sec, will you? This is important.

...as I was saying there might even be a better movie based on another Marvel Comics franchise. In X-Men 2 they set up a...

- I know, I know. We’ll get to the game tables in a few minutes.

In X-Men 2 they set up the third movie as the Phoenix series which culminated in her death in the now classic X-Men #137. Now that’s about as...

- Yeah, they have celebs here all the time. It’s no big… What? Really?

Sorry, I have to run. Mark Hammil just showed up in his costume from The Guyver. I have to run get my Mint-In-The-Box Luke Skywalker limited edition action figure autographed.

- Scott

Posted by: Mr. Husband at July 7, 2004 10:39 AM

Heh, anybody wanna peanut?

Bravo! but (you knew there was one,) re:

"...Leave the mental problems to Batman. KTHANXDRIVETHROUGH."


you're not fooling anyone. It's KTHXDRVTHRU. What is this, web lite? Webdergarten? Sellout!

:)

Posted by: Dark Lord Fancy Pants at July 7, 2004 3:36 PM

More trivia about Alfred Molina: To me he will always be the weasily, little slimeball in Raiders of the Lost Ark that talks beautiful Indiana into throwing him the golden head thingy in exchange for the whip to get across the broken floor. I haven't seen Spiderman II yet, but I would bet he's just as good at playing a bad guy now as he was then!

Posted by: Eighmee at July 9, 2004 6:05 AM

LOVE Spiderman II!!!
No camp. just gritty and tortured, like a superhero should be.

Doc Oc LIVES!!!! (or at least I hope so)

Posted by: Shawn B. at July 19, 2004 8:20 AM