June 28, 2004

Slang Squad Deux

Before you delve into Slang Squad Deux, the Squad Unleashed, you should probably go back and read the front half. Or it won’t make sense.

SO ANYWAY, in order to say DAG YO or TRUE DAT with any sort of CONVICTION, you really need to be four things: Young, Black, Urban, and Hip. How many of these things am I? Well, let’s see. Thirty-something. Not terribly young. I am so melanin challenged that the flesh of my winter legs has been known to BLIND people. Not black. My neighbor owns a goat. Not urban. By the time I knew who Snoop Dogg was, he had already fazizzled and was doing AOL commercials. Nuff said on the HIP issue.

I have a friends who are young and friends who are black, friends who are urban and ONE friend who CLAIMS she is still hip, thanks, but I don’t have a single friend who could legitimately check off more than two on that four thing list. And there isn’t any friend I have IN TOWN that can check off more than ONE. SO there is no reason for any of us to trot around DAG YOing and TRUE DATing, and yet we do, because of teen girl squad. And trust me, if a thirty-something white mommy in rural Georgia says True Dat or Dag Yo to me, it can only mean that she is testing me for secret membership in the cult of Strong Bad.

So anyway, that realtor team I told you about came over to pitch us some woo to get our listing, and the Good Ol Boy guy focused on Scott and the hipster black chick zeroed in on me. And so Scott and the GOB were deep into running numbers and marketing plans and probability tables, and the chick and I are talking about CURB APPEAL and how to make the house look SASSY SPICY HOT. And she had a good sense of humor and she and I kinda hit it off and we went from curb appeal to chatter, and somewhere in there, she forgot I was an older white unhip rural mommy for a second. So when I said something that was obviously true, she said, "True Dat." And then I forgot she was black, young, urban and hip for a second and I said "OH OH OH! TRUE DAT! YOU WATCH TEEN GIRL SQUAD???"

And then there was this moment, this really nice moment, where we realized what had happened, and we got tickled with each other and we stood there in my teeny guest bathroom, giggling like loons while Scott and the Good Ol’ Boy peered in at us from the doorway going WHAT? WHAT? And there was no way to explain it.

In other news, Loretta Swit is on Hollywood squares and she has had a pound of her butt-fat pumped into her upper lip. EXCEPT for that ill-conceived misuse of half her bottom, she looks extremely great.

Posted by joshilyn at June 28, 2004 7:53 AM