June 7, 2004

Crown Me

I am in the sort of pain where, when a bad wave of it comes, your vision kind of clouds over and sounds mute themselves and you smell only the insides of your own nostrils. All your senses dampen and muffle themselves, so you can better experience the radiating core where a nerve just beneath a tooth of yours is saying PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! to the brain, over and over, in pulses, as if if thinks the brain is STUPID, as if it thinks the brain didn't get the message the first 900 million times.

Sadly, THE NERVE IS CORRECT. The brain IS stupid. And in its defense, the nerve has been sending little twinges of *polite cough* discomfort* polite cough* for days and days. But the brain ignored it. The brain said, "I do not feel you nerve, so shush, and anyway I have a CLEANING in July, And I can mention these little twinges then la la la."

Because the brain has a bad spot in it, like a bruise on a peach, a soft irrational blue-black rotting thumbprint of rabid uncontrollable phobic fear, and the spot is labelled "DENTIST."

At my dentists office, they have a BIG NOTE on my file that says "total psycho, handle kindly and administer many drugs" written in BRIGHT RED 72 point font. For a CLEANING they put me in a procedure chair and strap on the gas. They are gentle and patronizing and speak in soft tones and pet my hair, because otherwise I leap up, ripping at the bib, shrieking, trailing spittle, and the last they see of me is my puffy tail boucing away over the hills.

SO Brain ignored the nerve, and on Saturday, the MINUTE my husband left town, the MINUTE I was all alone with two tiny children and could therefore not take any SERIOUS pain meds, the VERY DAY my DENTIST LEFT THE FREAKING COUNTRY, the nerve had had just about enough with the discomfort mentioning and decided to TRUMPET ABOUT AGONY instead.

SO it hasn't been a good weekend. And I am about to leave for the SUBSTITUTE dentist's office, and she doesn't KNOW me, so it is not going to be a good day. *glumps down more valium* I have learned a valuable lesson though. Oh, it's not "next time a nerve begins twinging, go to the dentist immediately." Nothing actually USEFUL like that.

I have learned this: When playing biological rock-paper-scissors, Brain cuts nerve discomfort, but agony wraps brain.

Posted by joshilyn at June 7, 2004 10:43 AM

Well, as long as you learned something...

Posted by: Kira at June 8, 2004 9:52 AM

I did that a couple of years ago. It was Not Good. I'm still paying the price in screwed up teeth. :( Never again.

Posted by: Jensgalore at June 8, 2004 10:23 PM