May 1, 2004

The Hoover Damn

Ever since Scott came back from Vegas, he has been dying -- I mean DYING --- to tell me about the Hoover Dam.

When I was 22 I realized I would never be able to learn Japanese because I had used up too many brain cells on the lyrics to bad 80's pop tunes. I will never get past "Domo Arrigato" unless it is followed by "Mr. Roboto," and whenever the MUZAK version of Mr. Misters classic hit about learning to fly again, learning to live and love so free comes on while I am riding in an elevator, I am physically unable to stop myself from singing along with it.

Since the NO BRAIN LEFT FOR JAPANESE heartbreak, I have tried assiduously to avoid learning about subjects which do not interest me, so that I have brain cells left to store things that DO interest me, like where my keys are. Therefore I desire to have a big HOOVER DAM talk about as much as I want to read about the secret inner life of the kidney. Read: NOT AT ALL.

And yet he is so excited about this whole SIDE TRIP TOP SEE THE HOOVER DAM he went on that I have been hard pressed to escape having the talk.

He has approached the subject from the front, back and sideways, and The Hoover Dam has been like Conversational Rome---all roads lead to it. But every time he gets me 2 steps down a path toward the HOOVER DAM TALK, I go haring off into the woods or I scream LOOK! SOMETHING SHINY! And when he glances away my puffy tail goes bounding over the hills.

Finally he gave up on finding a segue that would take us there, and Thursday night he pulled up a BIG FAT PICTURE of the Hoover Dam on his Monitor, swivelled around in his office chair to face me, and we had the following talk:

HIM: You know, dams are actually fascinating entities.
ME: No, they aren't.
HIM: No, really, they are,
ME: No, honey. Really not.

He was very crestfallen and I felt dreadful then, so I crept away to watch TV in a dam-free zone. When I got back, my seven-year-old son Sam was sitting on his lap, and they were HIP DEEP in dam talk, and Sam looked up with eyes as round as quarters and said OH MAN, MOM, DAMS ARE SO COOL. So now for the last two days, my motor mouth son has INUNDATED with me with an UNSTOPPABLE HOARD of RELENTLESS DAM FACTS every moment.

Revenge of the Discovery Channel geeks.

Posted by joshilyn at May 1, 2004 3:37 PM